


Upsetting The Applecart

by reaperlight



Category: Death Note, Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note: Another Note
Genre: 50 Shades of Grey - Freeform, Acting, Adventure, Alternate Character Interpretation, Alternate Identities, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Angst and Humor, Apples, Awkwardness, Bad Puns, Banter, Becoming The Mask, Bickering, Bleach - Freeform, Capoeira, Closeted Light, Clumsy Ryuk, Crack, Crimes & Criminals, Curtain Fic, DQN Name, Daddy Kink, Dating Catwoman, Delinquents, Denial, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Dysfunctional Family, Espionage, Exhibitionism, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Drama, Family Dynamics, Family Issues, Family Secrets, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Flustered Light, Foe Yay, Forehead Touching, Friends to Lovers, God Complex, Godwin’s Law, Hacking, Hand Jobs, Hannibal Lecter - Freeform, Hospitals, Human Ryuk, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Hybristophilia, Identity Issues, Immortals, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Interrogation, Jealousy, Lemon, Libraries, Library Sex, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Light Masochism, Light's corset, Light's dreamcatcher, M/M, Marilyn Manson - Freeform, Martial Arts, Master/Pet, Mean Girls, Memory Loss, Narcissism, Obsession, Parent Sexuality Squick, Pop Culture, Power Bottom Light, Power Dynamics, Protectiveness, Public Humiliation, Public Nudity, Random Events Plot, Restaurants, Rimming, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Romeo and Juliet References, Secret Identity, Sex Toys, Shopping, Siblings, Size Kink, Sonic The Hedgehog - Freeform, Souichiro's A+ Parenting, Species Dysphoria, Styx - Freeform, Sukeban, Sukeban!Sachiko, Table Sex, Tattoos, The Dark Knight - Freeform, The Eighties, The Joker - Freeform, The Seventies, Transformation, Tsundere Light, Voyeurism, Wanko-nyanko, Wedy is a Badass, Wordcount: 30.000-50.000, Yakuza, aikido, hang gliding, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 20:23:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 42,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4113733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reaperlight/pseuds/reaperlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Light has a problem. To be honest Light has a lot of problems but specifically his best friend has inexplicably turned human...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Upsetting the Applecart - (idiom) to cause trouble or to spoil carefully laid plans.

Light idly tapped his long, elegant fingers on the counter as he considered his next move. They’d just finished ringing up his purchases—a new khaki wardrobe and a few more girly mags to fool L or whoever else had planted surveillance cameras in his bedroom—when the resounding crash outside was felt throughout the store. Light just managed to avoid groaning out loud. He’d noticed when they’d first come in that just outside there was one of those temporary venders—an apple stand. Light had a sinking suspicion as to the cause when Ryuk was nowhere to be found. He suppressed another groan, certain that his brutish companion had somehow managed to trip over an applecart... _again._ The justice-driven teen wondered if this was somehow a plot to bankrupt him because now he felt _morally obligated_ to buy enough apples to make up the damages. Of course Ryuk wouldn’t mind if the apples were bruised or had been on the ground and would eat them regardless. The boy’s right eye began to tick in annoyance. His Shinigami had probably done it on purpose.

Just then a very large and _very naked_ man suddenly erupted in through the doors of the shop only to crash into Light—they fell in a heap with the stranger on top of him. 

_“YOU PERVERT!”_ screeched one of the sales clerks at the streaker, _“Get out of here before I call the cops!”_

“Light-o! _Help!_ ” pleaded the terrified man. 

Light gaped at the stranger who wasn’t exactly a stranger after all. He made a large man of uncertain age and nationality—well his body and demeanor seemed youngish—he could be in his early twenties. It was his eyes, Light decided—his eyes were much older than his face; though now human in shape they were still large and round, pale gold and seldom blinked. 

_“R-RYUK?!”_

Really, it took far too long for Light to recognize him. Though, perhaps… that was to be expected, really. Because aside from his physical appearance and his love for apples just what did he _really know_ about his… (best friend? Roommate?) Er… companion? Next to nothing, other than the fact he came with the notebook. In the end it was his ridiculous protruding ears and manner of speech that allowed Light to make a positive identification.

Light supposed that part of the reason it took so long was because whatever process had caused this sudden transformation had caused Ryuk to lose his distinctive hair spikes so that it fell in a dark curtain into his eyes. Did Shinigami use hair gel? Or did their hair simply have magical gravity-defying properties? Those were the important questions. 

Ryuk’s skin was darker than Light would have thought it would be too given the other’s normally pale clown-like face… but then, what if that had always been like… makeup of something? And the rest of his body had seemed very dark—or was that his clothing? 

Light had never looked too closely and he had never seen Ryuk naked—not that he particularly wanted to, really, he was just curious—he could be stitched together from various pieces like Frankenstein’s monster for all he knew. Ryuk typically wore a lot of leather but Light wasn’t really sure where the clothes ended and his body began—well his claws were dark but Light wasn’t sure if that was his actual hand or if he was wearing yet more tight leather—he could be wearing black gloves over his hands, _over_ his claws—which were still dark even in his transmogrified state. How did that work? His _clothes_ were gone, his hands were now completely human and yet his finger nails were still that cool, er… _stupid_ Gothic, black spiky talons. Really, how did that work? Did Ryuk stop to get his nails professionally done before crashing into him?

Somehow Light doubted it. 

There were just far too many questions produced by his far too idle genius mind in the course of a few seconds and they weren’t even the important ones. 

Ryuk was _human._

Everyone could see Ryuk.

Why was Ryuk _human?!_

This fucked everything up. 

_Oh no. They can see Ryuk! They can hear Ryuk! Ryuk is, or at least **looks,** human! Dammit, this is a nightmare! Ryuk was supposed to be a secret! **AND WHY THE FUCK IS HE NAKED?!** And **hot?!** I mean **hot as hell** … No, Wait, I mean uh, **uncomfortably attractive** … er… and **on** me…_

“Er…” 

The young man couldn’t stop staring even as the former Shinigami cringed and cowered while the women kept screaming. 

“ _Help!_ Light-o! _Please! You’ve gotta help me!_ ” Ryuk whined; his large honeyed eyes pleading with him even as he inadvertently kept the smaller man pinned to the floor beneath him. In his wild desperation Ryuk got in his face—the Shinigami (well, Light supposed it was _ex-Shinigami_ now) was never very good about the concept of personal space. 

Light swallowed, for a moment inexplicably distracted by his, uh… _friend’s_ closeness. 

Then there was the nature of Ryuk’s plea—Light’s first instinct upon hearing Ryuk’s demands for help was to claim ignorance and pretend not to know the idiot but then Ryuk had already called him by name and in his shock Light had admitted he’d known the identity of the other as well. And then, even now, Ryuk was holding him down, staring right at him… Light belatedly realized that he wasn’t kicking up a proper fuss for someone being tackled by a naked stranger so it was far too late for that. 

Leaving Ryuk out to dry would not have been the right thing to do anyway—the (former?) Shinigami simply knew too much about Kira and Light had no way of knowing if he was human enough to kill with the Death Note—Light wasn’t sure if the Death Note would work on Ryuk since he was or once had been a Shinigami… or if it would accept just the name “Ryuk” for that matter. He couldn’t cut Ryuk loose to spill his secrets so there simply was no choice in the matter— _he’d have to take care of the idiot._

Another hysterical shriek cut through Light’s thoughts as he once again became aware of their audience. 

_Dammit._

“What?! Ryuk, buddy?! What the hell happened to you?!”Light asked, putting on a show of concern even as he subtly tried to nudge the larger man off his person. After much nudging, Ryuk finally, reluctantly, took the hint.

“I don’t know, okay?! I just blacked out and then when I woke up I was like… this!”

Light thought fast. “Did you get mugged again?” He asked while tossing Ryuk his overcoat. 

The big man glanced down at the coat in obvious confusion. “That’s way too small for me.” 

Light couldn’t help noticing a strange heat creeping up into his face. 

“Use it to cover yourself, you idiot!”

“ _Oh!_ Sorry…“ 

Ryuk attempted to do just that. 

“Er… Light, I think it’s still too small.”

Light felt his face burning with embarrassment “Don’t bunch it up like that!” Light snapped in a scandalized hiss.

“S-sorry!” 

Light groaned. He’d need to get a new coat now and burn that one for sure. A shame, really—that had been his favorite coat. 

_I think I liked him better as a Shinigami. The opportunities to embarrass me were kept at a minimum._ Light thought as he attempted to calm the lynch mob forming around them. 

“Ladies, please excuse his rudeness. I swear he’s not a pervert. He’s just a foreigner. And he has a condition. He just sometimes forgets these things. Please, I… I think someone hurt him again. What’s this bruise, Ryuk?” Light asked, calling attention to the nasty bruise on Ryuk’s right arm from where he tripped and fell. 

To his credit Ryuk quickly caught on. “The uh, guy who jumped me. He uh, tripped me and I fell down,” Ryuk finished lamely. 

“Okay,” Light said in his best sympathetic tone for the sake of their audience. 

“I… I don’t feel so good. It… _hurts._ Is it serious?”

“It should go away in time.” 

“But it _hurts._ ”

That’s when it dawned on Light that Ryuk probably was largely unfamiliar with the concept of pain—it made sense—things that would typically be lethal to humans would never even faze a Shinigami. 

_It’s strange to think about but I probably have a much better pain tolerance than Ryuk does… I’m… tougher than he is._

_“Owwwww!”_ the large man groaned dramatically, glaring at the bruise. 

Light just shook his head disparagingly. _What a big baby!_

“It doesn’t look too serious, Ryuk. If it still hurts later we’ll get it looked at, okay?” 

“O-okay.” 

Of course just when he’d calmed things down some other lady came into the store and decided to start shrieking at them and Ryuk attempted to cower behind him. Light pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Miss, please. I think my friend was just assaulted. I’m sorry. He’s a little… slow. I think someone hurt him again. 

Ryuk nodded along “I never saw it coming.” 

_“WHY IS HE NAKED?”_

Light sighed. “He probably just forgot. Ryuk-kun. Did you forget to take your pills today?”

“Pills?” 

Light sighed again. “See? He forgot. I suppose it’s lucky you found me in a clothing store, Ryuk-kun… Come on, let’s get you sorted out— _uf!_ ” Light grunted in surprise as Ryuk was suddenly enveloping him in a tackling hug.

“Er... Ryuk-kun… Could you please let go? This is… this is getting kind of weird now.” 

“I’m sorry, Light! I’m sorry! I’m just so scared! I’m sorry!” Ryuk whimpered. 

“It’s fine. Come on, big guy. Let’s get you some pants,” Light said, giving an affable chuckle while patting his “friend” lightly on the shoulder. He hadn’t taken a half step before the tall mostly-naked man had drawn him into another awkward, bone-crushing hug. 

“Thanks, Light! You’re so smart!”

“Yeah okay… Ryuk uh… you’re doing the, uh… hugging thing again.” 

“Er… Sorry.” 

“So he’s a good friend, huh?” remarked the girl at the counter. 

Ryuk grinned guilelessly at her. “Of course, Light’s my _favorite_ person!” The former Shinigami declared as he embraced and ruffled the hair of a very annoyed looking Light. The girl at the counter giggled as Light once again extricated himself from Ryuk’s bear-hug. 

***

 _Damn Shinigami, can’t even dress himself properly!_ Light thought darkly as he was forced to accompany Ryuk into the dressing room when the former Shingami failed to figure out how a zipper worked and now it was stuck. Beyond exasperated, and not really thinking it through, Light kneeled down for better access to the faulty zipper. Only after he’d begun working on it did he seem to realize that this put him at eyelevel with Ryuk’s crotch… and, well, working on his crotch. 

Light swallowed nervously.

What was he getting so worked up about anyway? It wasn’t like he was gay or something— 

No…

He wasn’t gay.

He dated lots of girls. Well, sure, it bored him but he dated lots of girls. That’s what counted. And he was really popular on campus. He wasn’t… He couldn't be attracted to a man, let alone _Ryuk!_

Light stifled a groan. This was one of the few times he resented his genius—he had a near eidetic memory—so that image and the sensory perceptions of _smoking hot_ … er, this oddly attractive naked version of Ryuk _hugging him_ would forever be seared into his brain. He didn’t even have to imagine it to _know_ what lay beneath that thin layer of fabric—the damn monster was hung like a horse! 

Light stifled another groan—this was overall a bad idea. 

Light felt his brain freeze when Ryuk’s long, thin fingers began carding through his hair and a strange tremor raced up his spine. Light couldn’t help looking up the expanse of the former monster’s chiseled bronze torso—Ryuk had yet to pick out a shirt. It was so strange, seeing Ryuk as a human. Light was so used to seeing his Shinigami’s ugly mug that it was almost like, well, being around a stranger—this wasn’t _his_ Ryuk. 

Light sucked in a sudden breath when Ryuk caught him staring and matched it, piercing him with a stare of his own. Light could almost _feel_ it, the way the hairs rose on the back of his neck, in the almost _electric_ feeling just beneath his skin, in the way Ryuk’s lips parted when he asked him if he was okay, and in the way those soft golden eyes seemed to pierce him to his very core… 

Light was suddenly very aware of the sound of his own breathing. 

Dammit, what the _fuck_ was Ryuk doing to him? 

“I—I’m _fine,_ Ryuk,” Light insisted and Ryuk let the matter drop.

Just what the hell was wrong with him? 

Okay, he couldn’t deny there was an odd tension between them. Ever since Ryuk had turned human, things had gotten really, well… _weird._ That was just the thing—Ryuk was his Shinigami. He wasn’t meant to be so… _young and attractive._

And why should he care if his male friend was attractive anyway? Light knew he was prettier…. Er, _handsomer._ Ryuk was hardly a threat to him and yet ever since his bizarre, unexplained transformation Light just couldn’t keep his eyes off of him. Perhaps that was it—Ryuk’s sudden change, it was just a mystery he didn’t have the answers to. 

That was why he was staring. 

_Right…_

That was just about as believable as L suddenly showing up, telling him his real name, and swearing undying loyalty to Kira. 

_Dammit._

“What is it, Light?” Ryuk asked again in honest concern.

 _Dammit, get a grip! Even Ryuk could see you’re losing it!_

“Just… you’re different—that’s all.”

“Well… yeah. Is that a bad thing?”

“No. It’s just… it’ll take some getting used to.”

”Okay.” 

Light froze again as Ryuk softly patted him on the head.


	2. Chapter 2

“The two of you are really sweet.”

Light glanced up from where he was returning his credit card back to his wallet to find the shop clerk smiling at them. He nearly dropped his shopping bag in shock. 

_She thinks we’re a **couple?!**_

Light shook his head as if to clear it of this obviously ridiculous notion as he left the shop, Ryuk doggedly pursuing him.

Light supposed it was fortunate, after a fashion, that their story was further cemented in the minds of witnesses when Ryuk continued to establish himself as a clumsy idiot when he kept bashing into things, forgetting he could no longer phase through them. Though to his credit the ex-Shinigami was learning fairly quickly—Ryuk indeed was not fond of this whole concept of pain.

Light felt another odd heat when Ryuk grasped his hand as Light helped the ex-Shinigami up onto his feet. 

_Idiot! I am not… I am most definitely not attracted to Ryuk in any way, shape, or form! That is completely impossible!_ Light thought fervently even as his eye unconsciously wandered back to where Ryuk still followed him, always just one step behind, and wearing an expression that somehow reminded him of that of a lost puppy. Light stifled a groan. He shouldn’t have gotten him that tight black muscle tee or those sleek black trousers—Ryuk looked _really good_ in it and just the sight of him wearing it was …doing weird things to him. It only got worse when the ex-Shinigami’s eyes seemed to light up when he noticed Light looking at him. 

Ryuk smiled shyly. 

Light swallowed yet again and for a moment it was like he’d forgotten how to breathe. He suddenly missed the way Ryuk looked before; give him a mouth full of grinning fangs any day because, dammit, _Ryuk_ had no right to look so good or to smile at him so… _cutely._

 _Dammit, just what’s happening here?!_

***

“Oh wow, apples taste even better now!” Ryuk declared with great joy as he munched his way through the crisp red fruit in his hand. 

Light had ended up buying much of the stock Ryuk had ruined with his earlier antics—what with spontaneously turning human and tripped into the apple cart. Light still wasn’t completely convinced that had been accidental. He’d questioned Ryuk extensively about his sudden transformation but, assuming the Shinigami wasn’t lying, Ryuk was just as much in the dark as Light was.

“Finish it fast,” Light ordered as he stored the extra bags of apples in a public locker. “You can’t bring food into the library.” 

Ryuk’s brow wrinkled in annoyed confusion. “Why not?”

“It’s against the rules,” Light declared, as if that was the end of discussion. For Light it was. Ryuk had other ideas. 

“But _why?_ ”

Light pinched the bridge of his nose. “Because they don’t want people messing up the books I imagine.” 

“I wouldn’t though!”

“Yeah, okay. I’m sure you wouldn’t. You still can’t eat apples in there.”

“But…”

“Look… you _really_ don’t want to draw any more attention to yourself right now, okay? Please hold off on getting into any trouble… at least until I can fabricate your fake identity… and preferably never. You don’t want to end up in jail, do you Ryuk?”

“No. That’s not fun!” 

“Then _please_ just do what I say.”

“Yeah… Okay.” Ryuk pouted for a moment before he resumed gnawing on his apple.

The ex-Shinigami gave a feral growl when Light stopped him, gently pulling on his wrist

“That apple is done.” 

“No it’s _not!_ ” Ryuk argued, clutching the apple core protectively to his chest.

“Don’t eat the core, Ryuk. That was okay when you were a Shinigami but not as a human. Apples seeds are poisonous to humans!”

Ryuk glared at the apple core as if it had just personally betrayed him. 

“Damn! Is there anything that _doesn’t_ kill you humans?" Ryuk grumbled as he followed Light into the library. "This body is so _frail!_ How ever do you manage?” 

***

And so Light spent the afternoon on a library computer fabricating a complete history for his… _companion._ Years ago Light had sweet-talked the librarian into letting him have one of the library’s private rooms to do his studies in peace and Light used it—for his studies and his “studies.” It was a nice little office, filled with books on law, a sturdy hardwood table, uncomfortable wooden chairs, and an old clunky computer which was proud to boast that it had Internet access. A true testament to the library’s lack of funds it was over ten years old—ancient and obsolete. 

Or so it appeared to be. 

Over the years Light had made his own modifications to the ancient behemoth—so many in fact that only the casing remained. Light had gutted it—replaced the hardware, rewrote the software so it was far from being the obsolete overly-priced paperweight that it appeared to be. The librarians knew that Light had modified the computer but not to what extent—to the technophobic librarians everything Light did might as well have been magic and miracles. They were just happy he could unfreeze their computers or make them run faster and they all loved Light for it—it was part of the reason he got his own private study office here while he was still just a student. Everyone knew that this was “Light’s office” and “Light’s computer” so using it for hacking might have been just as foolish as using his home computer… had he not known what he was doing. Light was confident that no one would trace his hacks but on the off chance it was discovered it would appear to be coming out of Texas, or Beijing, or Nigeria or any of the other dozens of locales he had bounced the signal—which was good because he had to do a lot of hacking—he had to do a lot of _work._ In a sense it would be a true act of Godly creation—he had to make someone exist who hadn’t the day before and make it appear as if they always had been.

It was quite a lot of work and it mostly involved hacking into a lot of police and government sites to falsify records so that Ryuk would appear to exist in the system as a human entity. It wasn’t perfect—there would be missing paper documents—but it was the best Light could do with what he had to work with. For such information to be missing Ryuk’s new human persona would have to have a very troubled background—Ryuk had never been to school, for instance, and he had no immunizations. He’d never been to a doctor’s office. This in part could be written off as having abusive and neglectful guardians but Light knew he’d eventually have to take Ryuk to the doctor’s office to get his shots. Ryuk was human now and no doubt susceptible to every human disease. Light wondered if Ryuk’s mysterious transformation had included a super immune system because if he truly had never was exposed to human germs it was nothing short of a miracle he hadn’t keeled over already. 

Some of the missing paperwork could be explained away as having been lost or being stored in a building that burned down but not all of them. Ryuk needed a paper trail, even if it was a minimal one—that was the crux of it—if Ryuk’s existence was purely digital it would _look_ fabricated and that was definitely not what he was aiming for. He needed to have the minimum to keep him out of legal trouble—most importantly his birth certificate and citizenship status—it would be rather unfortunate and difficult for them if Ryuk was suddenly deported to who knows where. Light wasn’t confident that he could get into the places the documents needed to be to appear legitimate—not without getting caught—he wasn’t a thief or skilled at breaking into buildings. He did, however, have the Death Note. He would control a few criminals to plant the documents for them.

In the meantime Light had Ryuk going over an intense crash course on humans—especially manners, how to behave in public, general knowledge, and basic biology in an attempt to keep future mistakes and embarrassments to a minimum. He’d even included a handful of sex ed pamphlets in the stack of required reading given Light wasn’t relishing having to give Ryuk “The Talk.” 

Ryuk probably didn’t really need all of it—surely he must have gleaned some knowledge from _watching_ humans and, knowing Ryuk, Light doubted that all of it, especially the manners bit, would _stick_ but at least for now it kept him blissfully quiet.

***

“Your legal name is now Ryuuku Kingu, you were born the son of Oyabun Kingu of the Kingu Yakuza,” Light informed Ryuk even as he continued his furious typing. 

“Yakuza?” Ryuk prompted. He was sprawled out on the floor with the books Light had ordered him to read in an ungainly fashion while Light pointedly ignored him. Unsurprisingly, the library smelled of dust and musty old books. The old, coffee-stained, chartreuse carpets attested to the fact that, forbidden or not, people did indeed partake of food and drink inside the library. Light owed him apples for that. 

“Yes. You know your manners and patterns of speech closely resemble those of a Yakuza thug…” 

“They do?”

“Yep, they do. It’s what my father would assume upon meeting you. They won’t be able to confirm or deny your story because the rest of the Kingu clan was killed by Kira earlier this week.” 

Ryuk laughed. “How fortunate.”

Such a story was also good for Light because surely no one was going to suspect the close friend of such a “delinquent” as being Kira. 

“This background also explains why you’re missing certain documents, why I would be hiding my association with you, and why you’ve taken up residence in my room—”

“Wait, you uh… still want me to room with you?”

“Where else would you stay?”

“Good point.” 

Light abruptly paused in his typing; he was getting that uncomfortable feeling again in the pit of his stomach as Ryuk peered up at him from the floor, giving him that _look_ which he usually reserved for his apples—it was some odd mixture of devotion and covetousness and for some peculiar reason it made Light squirm when Ryuk sent it his way. Light fidgeted slightly and almost without conscious thought undid his tie and popped open the top button of his dress shirt. 

Light cleared his throat and continued speaking to cover up his rising awkwardness with striding, confidant tones. “Yeah… I don’t want you going to some halfway house. I don’t want you out of my sight. You’re staying with me. Just remember to please abstain from speaking about Shinigami, the notebook, or Kira while my room is bugged.”

Ryuk’s face fell. “Yeah, that’s right, the cameras! Won’t this cause problems for you?” 

“Not really. You see, this couldn’t have happened at a better time. I was initially planning to buy some embarrassing magazines to distract the investigation. However _you_ will surely prove a far greater distraction than any magazines I might purchase,” Light declared with a smug smile.

But Ryuk seemed less than enthusiastic. “Oh. So I’m like… an embarrassment to you?"

“What?! _No_ No—of course not!” Light denied. He hadn’t meant to imply that at all. Dammit, this whole situation was making him lose his edge. 

“I’m _not?_ Because that’s what it sounded like to me—that you’re embarrassed of me.” 

Light winced. Ryuk actually sounded… _hurt._

Sure, Ryuk could be a bit irritating at times and no doubt keeping him around would lead to embarrassing situations but he hadn’t meant to let that slip—he needed to keep Ryuk close and on good terms with him lest he become star witness for the prosecution. 

“That’s not what I meant at all, Ryuk! I’m not embarrassed by you. I like you,” Light insisted. 

“You _like_ me?” 

Light wondered at the queer emphasis Ryuk put on that word. Just what was going on in his head?

Light supposed he liked him. They got along well enough even though he was a Shinigami, or had been. Light supposed he didn’t exactly hate him—how could he when it had been Ryuk who gifted him with the tools to save the world and become God? Light even found him amusing to the point he was probably a step up from the usual relations with people of just tolerating their existence. All things considered Ryuk was probably the closest thing he had to an actual friend. 

“Of course I do. I wouldn’t do this for someone I didn’t like!” Light snapped. He had put too much time and effort into creating Ryuk’s background to change course. They were stuck together now, like it or not. 

“Oh… Okay. But—” 

“It’s just… my association with you will keep them guessing. That’s what I meant to say!” 

“And that’s a good thing… right?” 

“Yes, that’s a very good thing,” Light insisted. 

“Good.” 

The brunet pretended not to notice when the ex-Shinigami oh-so-casually leaned back against the chair so that his head was touching Light’s thigh. 

“Yeah… anyway as I was saying you’re staying with me. You _have_ to stay with me because you had a falling out with your abusive gangster father and have nowhere else to go. You’re _staying with me_ because I’m your friend and helping you get emancipated and finding ways to make up for your lack of education—speaking of which there are a number of rehabilitation programs we can get you into. Say… maybe with your knowledge of history you could test into a scholarship program?” 

“You really think so?” 

“It’s worth a shot but first you need to practice writing from a third person perspective. You can’t answer the test questions in such a way that suggests you had actually been there...” Light said distractedly as he plucked up the other project he had set off to the side. It had finally finished drying.

“Okay Ryuk. Here’s your fake I.D. Don’t lose it.” 

“It’s important?” 

“Let’s just say … With this you can buy hard apple cider.”

“I won’t lose it.” 

“Good.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I wasn't expecting such a positive response! Thank you, everyone!

“So, are you following me so far, Ryuk?” 

“I think so? But… how am I supposed to feel about my oh-so dark and sordid past? I mean Kira killed my family. Do you want me to be all anti-Kira or something?” 

For a moment Light looked torn. He really _wanted_ to have someone close to him to support Kira—it got mentally and emotionally draining to know that his family were all seeking out or rooting for his destruction—but he knew that it wouldn’t be a good idea—for numerous reasons. 

“You know I really don’t care about the whole Kira thing one way or another but for the sake of this charade...”

“I suppose that might help in getting dad to like you. Yeah, given your past it wouldn’t be a good idea if you played a Kira supporter.” 

“So… how do you want me to play all this?”

“Well ‘Ryuuku Kingu’ had a hard life and didn’t get along with his family but I suppose it’s what you think feels most natural—this is going to be _your_ life now.” 

Ryuk sobered at that. “Yeah…”

“Do you…? You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to but… do you... _did you_ have any family, Ryuk?” 

The former Shinigami shrugged. “Just the Old Man.” 

“Old Man?” 

“The Shinigami King. He created all of us so I suppose he’s the closest thing I have to the concept of a father.” 

“Well… how would you feel if something happened to him?” 

Ryuk shrugged again. “Like celebrating? We don’t see him much except when he was inflicting punishments.” 

Well, didn't _that_ sound eerily familiar? While Light wouldn't feel like celebrating if his father died—far from it in fact—but Ryuk could have been describing Light's own childhood. Perhaps they had more in common than he had originally thought...

“There’s your answer then. Though you might add something along the lines of “he was my father” or “I’m saddened by this death even though he was a scumbag” so that you sound more polite and not like a monster.” 

“But I _am_ a monster, Light.” 

“True… but you can’t appear to be one.” 

Ryuk simply nodded. Light would know these things. Light was the expert here, after all—he’d had quite a lot of experience in pretending _not_ to be a monster. 

“Er… Light? Just one question? 

“What is it?”

“Why would someone like you go out of their way to help someone like me?” 

Light crossed his arms in annoyance. “You know the answer to that, Ryuk.”

“No, I mean you, why would _you,_ a perfect honor student and son of a police chief, help someone already labeled a delinquent by society?” 

“We met in the library, completely by chance. I was doing a research paper on the justice system and you were looking up emancipation laws and we got to talking…” 

“Yeah… I remember our cover story but just… that doesn’t seem like enough for you to want to offer your room to me…”

The realization hit with all the impact of an auto accident. 

“ _Dammit!_ You’re right! _SHIT!_ ”

Ryuk abruptly stood up, staring at Light in shock as the normally cool and collected teen pounded his fists on the table and went on to describe actions that were both vulgar and anatomically impossible.

“Er… you okay, Light?”

Light gave the table one final fist pounding before he forcefully regained his cool. “Yeah it’s just… _This…_ ” 

“This screws everything up, doesn’t it?” 

“No… No, this is still salvageable. There is a way. It’s just… _Dammit!_ There’s no other choice!" Light trailed off as he turned to regard him pensively—it was making Ryuk kind of nervous. "Ryuk, uh… would you do whatever I asked you to do to make sure our cover isn’t compromised?” 

“Yeah, Light. I’ll do whatever I need to do. I don’t want to end up in jail either, you know. So what do you need, Light-o?” 

Light cleared his throat and once again felt the heat rising in his face.

“You know Ryuk… at the store… they all assumed we were a couple.”

“They _did?!_ ” the former Shinigami asked in obvious confusion. Then it clicked. “Wait, does that mean... you mean you want me…” 

“Yeah. I think… I think maybe you should be my boyfriend. I mean that’s the best explanation as to why I would go above and beyond for you that doesn’t involve you blackmailing me or threatening my life or my family or something like that. It’s what people are going to think anyway about our level of… _closeness._ I mean, I let you sleep in my bedroom—that alone is going to raise some eyebrows. So… uh, you’re my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for several months and I’m helping you get your life together. I’m letting you stay in my room until you get your own place because your father kicked you out.” 

“Okay.” 

“ _Okay?_ ” Light somehow hadn’t expected it to go over that easily. 

“Yeah, okay.” 

Ryuk didn’t seem at all disturbed by the prospect. Maybe it was because he used to be a Shinigami and didn’t realize the connotations… 

That’s when Light noticed the way Ryuk was looking at him and almost startled right out of his seat. 

That _look_ —Ryuk had given him that look before but it had never affected him so—just that _look_ was now sending his pulse racing and making him break out in a nervous sweat. Somehow when Ryuk was still a Shinigami such a look hadn’t truly registered as a threat—Ryuk was his Shinigami, his friend, and such a look—surely he was just messing with him. Ryuk had given him such a look before; such as when Light had rejected the Eye Deal or when the Shinigami had found his plans to be particularly interesting or sometimes… just watching him but Light hadn’t minded it much—if anything it was an ego boost—a God of Death found him to be the most fascinating thing in the world (aside from apples). And why shouldn’t he? He _was_ the most interesting thing in the world if he did say so himself.

However receiving that same look from Ryuk _now_ … 

Now that Light had asked Ryuk to be his... no, _to play the role_ of his boyfriend...

Now that he’d inexplicably turned human…

A highly _attractive_ human…

A highly attractive human _male…_

A highly attractive human male who was currently snaking his arm around Light’s waist, having yet to learn about the human concept of personal space…

Light swallowed, feeling somewhat strange as Ryuk closed the distance, looming over him as the Shinigami often did but it somehow felt _different_ now that Ryuk was human. 

That’s when Light noticed this wasn’t quite the same look he had had as a Shinigami there was something extra there, something almost… _predatory;_ a wicked glint entering his haunting golden eyes.

More predatory than a God of Death?

Light swallowed again but now that he’d noticed it, he couldn’t look away—there was an odd twist to the larger man’s lips. They were nice lips—full and dark and very… _kissable…_

Light immediately tried to delete that thought out of existence. 

He turned his attention back to the paperwork he was working on—all had to be done to verify Ryuk’s legal existence. He’d already done what he could electronically. The rest had to be painstakingly forged by hand—he could afford no mistakes or they could both end up in prison for fraud. Light wondered if Ryuk understood the importance of this because at the moment the ex-Shinigami and his wandering hands certainly weren’t making it any easier for him. Light aggressively slashed at the paper with his pen to make each stroke—a bad habit he had picked up after discovering he could kill with a notebook—yet his handwriting still managed to look neat and tidy and a perfect copy of the government official’s who he was imitating. 

That is it was perfect until he felt Ryuk’s hot breath on his ear. Light startled, his pen ripping and tearing across the page. 

Damn Ryuk. Why did he have to be so damn… _distracting?!_ Light had caught himself thinking of the other male quite often—especially after he had first seen him in his new human body. 

_Dammiti!_ He wasn’t even that pretty! Sure he was nicer looking than his monstrous form but he was still big and awkward with funny ears and had a smashed in nose. 

And big. 

And ripped. 

Fuck. He was fucking _huge._

Light again wondered what the hell was wrong with him.

Why did the very thought of Ryuk naked make him shake and produce that odd uncomfortable shifty feeling in his gut, it was almost like… no. That couldn’t be possible. He wasn’t interested in… _that!_ Of course he couldn’t be attracted to Ryuk. That would be ridiculous. Ryuk wasn’t even a girl. Hell, he wasn’t even _human_ until a few hours ago.

Light’s right eye twitched as he felt Ryuk breathe on him again. Light attempted to ignore it, re-reading the same sentence for the seventh time. 

“I can be your boyfriend, Light,” Ryuk hissed, grinning against his ear. 

Light was about to violently protest when he remembered that _that_ had been his suggestion—their agreed upon lie. That’s right. He was going to have to pretend to be dating him—that made this a million times worse. What the hell was wrong with him? It’s not like he could _ever_ be attracted to Ryuk. That would be absurd! 

“Er… so you’d be… uh, comfortable playing the part?” Light said, awkwardly attempting to shrug off Ryuk’s suddenly grabby hands and resume his writing. 

“Oh, yes. I have no problem with it. You know, I’ve been watching humans for thousands of years. I’ve seen various means and methods of… _courtship._ So I’m fairly confident I can be a good boyfriend to you.” 

Light found himself blushing again and he had no idea why. 

“But one quick question,” Ryuk began as Light turned his attention back to the paperwork, “Just how comfortable should we be with each other?”

 _“Ngh! What?!”_ Light snapped, letting out a strangled whine upon receiving a slight pleasurable jolt as Ryuk began softly rubbing his hands on Light's hips. 

Ryuk snickered. “You shouldn’t ignore your boyfriend, Light.” 

Light gave another slight shiver, feeling gooseflesh develop on the back of his neck as Ryuk’s hot breath again ghosted by his ear. 

The younger man rolled his eyes “It’s just an act, Ryuk,” he insisted. 

“ _Of course it is…_ but what I’m asking you is just how far do you want to take it?” 

Light narrowed his eyes. “Just what are you getting at?” 

“You yourself said we can’t afford to have _any holes_ in our story. But the thing is… you seemed… _uncomfortable_ about me hugging you earlier.”

“Yes, well…. you surprised me… and you were naked.” 

“That’s just the thing though. If we’ve been dating for months as your story suggests shouldn’t we be more, uh… _used to each other?_ ”

Light’s soft brown eyes widened in realization. “ _Dammit!_ You’re right. _Again!_ People might notice... No, no. It'll probably be alright. We'd probably be able to fool most people, I mean people are idiots... but... But surely a detective as renowned as _L_ would notice _immediately_ if we weren't _intimate_ enough. Dammit, there's no help for it! For this to work I have to be used to you. I have to be used to you _naked._ I have to be used to you _touching me…_ ” 

“And you have to be used to being naked around me. And touching me. And me touching you—even when you don’t expect it. And I think I need practice too, Light. I’m kind of, uh… shy…” 

Light looked up at him incredulously. “You don’t seem too shy right now,” Light said pointedly, poking at the arm that was currently constricting around his waist. 

“It’s… different around you. You’re my favorite person. I think I like touching you.” 

Light felt his face burn hotter. _What the HELL?!_

“But I’m not sure how good I am at it. Can’t you show me if I’m doing it right? I want to do it right. I want you to like it when I touch you. That will help our cover, right?” 

The younger man looked down at the irritating grabby hands around his waist with a new light. 

“You’re right. We should start now. That’s good thinking, Ryuk…” Light praised, only trailing off slightly when he glanced up in time to see his former Shinigami giving him a particularly evil grin.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemon

“Then should I touch you?” Ryuk clarified. 

Light was confused. “But… you’re touching me now.” 

“No I mean really… Is _this_ okay?” 

Light gasped when that large bronze hand slid under his dress shirt to glide over the smooth skin of his stomach—the heel of Ryuk’s hand pressing hard and firm as it traveled in little circles, and upon meeting no resistance, briefly dipped just below the waistline of Light’s khakis. 

Light let out another surprised gasp followed by another embarrassing little whine as Ryuk kept doing that and Light sagged back in his chair. The feeling was actually quite pleasurable—it was just the thought that it was a _man_ doing it, and not just a man… _Ryuk_ —his Shinigami, his best friend (and the one who had promised to kill him one day…) Damn! Ryuk had barely touched him and he was already… He couldn’t believe it. _Ryuk_ touching him made him feel _like this!_ Ryuk gently but firmly pressed his hand against him again and Light nearly snapped his pen in half and his free hand clenched the arm of the chair.

 _Get a grip!_ Light shook his head—yeah, that was nice and all but it would be stupid to develop actual feelings. 

But that that was even a possibility left Light feeling more than a little confused. He couldn’t stop though—Light wasn’t about to admit weakness and in any case he couldn’t afford to. Ryuk was right—he needed to be used to the other man touching him if he wanted to convincingly play the part of his boyfriend enough to fool the likes of L. 

“Yes, that’s good, Ryuk. Touch me more,” Light demanded even as he continued scribbling on his paper.

Ryuk frowned. “You don’t seem very into it.”

“I need to finish your paperwork. Just touch me or whatever so we can speed up the process,” Light said, the epitome of calm—the only outward sign that he was effected being how his breath imperceptibly sped up as Ryuk’s touches became more… insistent.

“Okay,” Ryuk murmured. 

Light gave a slight whine in protest when the hand suddenly withdrew from his abdomen. 

“Hey! What are you doing? Why did you stop?” Light snapped, voice dipping into a frustrated growl.

Ryuk chuckled lightly as he pulled out a chair and sat down next to him. 

Light’s heart caught in his throat when Ryuk took off the black muscle tee that he had purchased for his former Shinigami mere hours ago. There was just something about watching the other’s muscles rippling even with the simple action of pulling the shirt up and over his head that was again making Light feel quite hot and strange. Light fidgeted awkwardly in his seat as he stole another glance at Ryuk’s ripped, shirtless chest. 

Light swallowed nervously. “W-why did you take your shirt off?” 

“We need to get used to each other, right?” Ryuk shrugged. “Besides, no sense in it getting sweaty.” Sweaty and sticky—just like the pamphlets said. At the moment it was one of three shirts he owned—Light’s generosity only went so far and apparently Light’s parents were likely to notice if he spent too much money on clothes. “You still don’t seem very comfortable about me touching you and I’d rather not force you into this—besides why should I do all the work?” 

“Dammit, Ryuk! We don’t have time!”

“Then we best get to it. Why don’t you sit in my lap and kiss me?” Ryuk suggested, never ceasing with that obnoxious smirking. 

Light gaped at him. 

“Don’t be shy, Light. After all, 'we’ve been together for months.’”

The brunet glared, taking that as a challenge. Light’s chair banged loudly against the desk when he abruptly stood up and marched on over to where the stupid, smirking ex-Shinigami was sitting and, with all the dignity Light could muster, sat down in Ryuk’s lap as if it were a throne rather than, well, Ryuk’s lap. 

Light gasped again when he felt him even through the layers of their clothes, half-hard and stirring and pressing against his bottom. Light squirmed uncomfortably but remained sitting, refusing to admit defeat. He was playing the role of Ryuk’s boyfriend—he needed to get used to… all sorts of physical contact. He wasn’t going to kiss him though. Not right now. Not with him grinning down at him like the smug asshole that he was.

Dammit, he could’ve gone with the ‘Ryuk is blackmailing me’ story but _nooooooo_ —he had, for some unfathomable reason, been concerned for his friend’s safety because surely his father would murder Ryuk if he thought he was hurting him—it was the only reason he allowed this indignity. That and at the time it had seemed the least embarrassing option—he didn’t want to be seen as weak and powerless which he surely would be if he went with the ‘Ryuk is blackmailing me’ stories. As embarrassing as the ‘Ryuk is my boyfriend’ story might be he was still the one with the power—that was the most important thing. But _dammit,_ Ryuk should be _grateful_ to him. Not… not going out of his way to embarrass him! 

“Where’s my kiss?” Ryuk grinned as Light squirmed in his lap. 

“I’m not in the mood, Ryuk,” Light snarled petulantly as he resumed forging official documents, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling that came with being all too aware of the fact he was sitting on Ryuk’s massive... _thing._ Light swallowed again. He could _feel it,_ even through their clothes. He just wasn’t sure he was comfortable with this. But that was the problem—he knew he _needed_ to be comfortable with this in order to sell their story. 

_Alright concentrate on the good. What’s good about this? What do I like…_

_Ryuk’s hands._

Light decided he definitely missed the feeling of Ryuk’s hands on him. 

Light unbuttoned his dress shirt. 

“Touch me again first,” Light commanded again as he began filling out another form but he wasn’t at it for very long. 

Light dropped his pen and cried out when Ryuk tweaked his nipple.

“ _Shit!_ ” 

Ryuk giggled as his devilish fingers slowly and gently teased and tweaked the pink buds of Light’s nipples. 

“Oh my god, _what are you doing to me?_ ” Light groaned as the other’s trailing finger tips sent sparks of pleasure beneath his skin. 

Light was red with embarrassment that Ryuk had managed to elicit such a response from him and ducked his head in shame, attempting to hide behind his curtain of brown bangs. 

Ryuk snickered. “Oh you’re so _shy._ It’s sweet, Light.” 

Light again took that as a challenge. He snarled and gave Ryuk his demanded kiss, biting, brutally on the lips. Ryuk just sat back and enjoyed Light’s sloppy kiss, content to let Light wear himself out before beginning his counterattack. Ryuk could be patient; he even waited for a minute, allowing Light to catch his breath before claiming his mouth again with his own. Light was surprisingly eager once he got him wound up but clearly not very experienced in pleasuring someone else—Ryuk supposed that should have been obvious when Light joked that “looks were all that counted” when it came to getting a date. And while there might have been some truth to that for getting a date; that certainly wasn’t all it took to _keep_ one. 

Ryuk would have to teach him then. 

While Ryuk had never before been allowed to partake in such activities himself he had long studied the ways and techniques of human pleasure. It wasn’t _completely_ theoretical knowledge, either—to an extent he had practiced the moves he’d seen, flawlessly mimicking them on mannequins on particular dull and boring afternoons—had he mentioned the Shinigami Realm was boring as fuck? As a Shinigami he’d had all the same parts—he just hadn’t been permitted to use them and so Ryuk was very well-acquainted with his hand. But now that he could and Light was willing… well, Ryuk was quite eager to try what he’d learned over the centuries on Light—Ryuk always was better at practical applications. So far Light had been eager and receptive to Ryuk’s techniques. He seemed to like it, _a lot,_ if the way the man’s spine arched and the uncontrolled little gasps and moans were any indication. The room was filled with Light’s harsh panting breaths as Ryuk expertly played his body, slow fingertips trailing over skin with clearly well-practiced hands.

Light stared up at Ryuk with awed and half-crazed eyes. 

“Is that good?” 

_“H-how?”_ Light demanded even as his body easily surrendered to the pleasant sensations of Ryuk’s touch. It honestly scared him that Ryuk could make him lose control so quickly. Light unconsciously clung tighter to the larger man; burying his face in his chest.

“I can stop if you want,” Ryuk’s voice seemed to float down to him as if from far away but even so Light could detect a note of genuine concern. 

“No! _Don’t stop!_ ” Light snapped. Ryuk shuddered and hissed at the feeling of Light’s ink-stained fingers trailing down his bare chest. Light whined when he felt those large hands on his hips. He squirmed again in Ryuk’s lap, drawing impossibly closer. 

“You like that?” Ryuk rumbled again as he leaned down to kiss his neck, while those large, devilish hands possessively moved up his torso, sending sparks of pleasure up his spine. Light whimpered and squirmed in his lap. Fuck! Why was this so good? He wasn’t even touching anything… _important_ yet! 

“ _Oh God!_ I’ll do whatever you want! Just don’t stop!”

Ryuk chuckled. “Whatever I want, huh?”

Light’s eyes shot wide open as he realized his mouth had gone off way ahead of his brain. 

Light cried out as Ryuk nipped at his neck—no doubt leaving a nasty hickey behind. Ryuk was most pleased, and perhaps was getting a bit carried away, but it was just he’d seen it done countless times throughout history… but he found it most intriguing that he could make Light, of all humans, make those sounds for him. Light who was always so reserved, so calm, so collected—honestly he kind of reminded Ryuk of that one human fairy tale, the one about thawing the frozen heart of the Ice Queen… well, Ice King in Light’s case and the only way to know for sure if Light had a heart would be to test it with the Death Note and Ryuk wasn’t quite willing to do that at the moment. 

“Just how far do you want to take this?” Ryuk rasped.

Light gasped for breath as Ryuk lightly brushed his skin with fingertips. “We… We need to be _very_ comfortable with each other so I think… all the way. _Yessss…._ ” Light panted as Ryuk kept touching him. Light whined again when Ryuk unzipped his khakis and stuck his hand down his pants.

Ryuk smiled. “So this is the part where I fuck you over a table.” Ryuk chuckled as he aggressively knocked the papers and things off the tabletop and pressed the panting teen back onto the desk. Ryuk then pulled Light's pants down so that his bare bottom hung over the edge. 

Lust hooded eyes the color of liquid gold snapped fully open as Light seemed to just realize his position. 

“Woah… _hold up._ Who said you got to top?”

“You said I could do whatever I wanted,” Ryuk pointed out as he kissed and licked eagerly at Light’s neck. 

“Er… Well…” Light gasped as Ryuk’s fingers closed tightly around his erection and gave him an experimental pump. 

“Besides don’t you want our act to be believable?” 

Light’s eyes narrowed dangerously even as his body gave a wild thrust into Ryuk’s hand. “Just what do you mean by that?” 

“Light, I guarantee you. They look at you, they look at me. Who do you think they’re going to assume is the bottom?”

“Then why play to their expectations?”

“But wasn’t that exactly what we’re trying to do with this whole thing?” 

“I’m beginning to hate it when you’re right.” Light grumbled before giving out another needy whine as Ryuk fondled his balls. 

Ryuk laughed. “I’ll try not to make it a habit then.” 

“You’re not sticking your dick in me…” Light snapped but then he hesitated. This, admittedly, wasn’t his area of expertise. He wasn’t that familiar with this kind of relationship and any knowledge he may have gleaned from the high school locker rooms was promptly repressed. Hell, he wasn’t too comfortable about sexual matters _period_ —he’d taken it to heart what his parents and teachers had always told him—that he should focus on his studies and that such things were just a distraction, a waste of time. That was fine by him—he didn’t want to spend any more time on some brainless chit than was strictly necessary for maintaining his façade as the perfect son. 

But what if L could just _tell_ somehow? Would their story fall apart if they weren’t… _intimate_ enough? What if his plan was given away by his obvious, raging heterosexuality? No, he couldn’t afford to be squeamish—the stakes were too high, he was changing the world here and L was too skilled of an opponent. He needed to pull out all the stops. He had to be willing to do _anything_ to win or he’d lose for sure… 

“Not without lube,” Light amended.

Light startled slightly as the ex-Shinigami put his long, dark fingers up to Light’s mouth. 

“Suck?” Ryuk suggested. “The pamphlet suggested… I mean, if you get them as wet as possible. Maybe hack up a loogie or something...”

Light’s face twisted in disgust but he pushed down feelings of revulsion and discomfort and obediently moistened Ryuk’s fingers. Light was surprised when another pleasurable tremor raced up his spine and another strangled little whine escaped his throat as he licked and sucked on Ryuk’s fingers. He still didn’t understand why he was enjoying this so much—he was just playing a part. That was nothing new. He’d even played the role of boyfriend and dutifully made out with a few girls before. It shouldn’t… it shouldn’t _touch_ him like this. And the whole thing, it all just felt so _awkward_ and messy and dammit, just what was he doing wrong? 

“ _F-fuck!_ ” Light gasped out when the fingers retreated from his mouth. He watched critically and almost dispassionately as Ryuk slowly made his way below. Light forced himself to relax as Ryuk unceremoniously pushed one of his long, moistened fingers up inside of him.

“You okay?” Ryuk asked at Light’s grunt of discomfort. 

“Y-yeah,” It wasn’t painful exactly—just a bit uncomfortable, but once he got more accustomed to it the sensation was even kind of… _interesting_. “That’s just… _weird… AH!_ ”

Light cried out at the sudden jolt of pleasure was felt throughout his entire being. 

“Light?” 

“ _Do that again!_ ” Light was almost feral in his demands. 

Ryuk dutifully obeyed and Light squirmed against Ryuk’s fingers, harder this time; and Ryuk groaned at the sight of him. 

Light whined and threw his head back against the tabletop. “ _More._ ” Light panted, eyes wild as he clutched at Ryuk’s heavy shoulders. 

“Should I add another finger?”

“ _Yessss!_ ” Light hissed again even as he bruised himself bucking and writhing into Ryuk’s hold as the larger man kept pumping and prodding him. “ _Fucking Hell, Ryuk!_ You’re good,” Light groaned as he squirmed on the tabletop while Ryuk’s other hand slowly and possessively trailing up and down his side before finding his cock to tease him again. The surface of the table was hard and painful but Light was already past caring. He’d never had someone touch him like this before. “So _good,_ ” he groaned again.

“R-really? You think so?” 

“ _God, Ryuk!_ ” Light gasped again, shuddering. He loved Ryuk’s hands on him _so much._

Light threw his arms around Ryuk’s neck, trying to grip the larger man’s broad, bronze shoulders. Ryuk yelped as the teen scratched his back in his excitement.

Light’s eyes snapped open at the sound of Ryuk’s pained whines and belatedly remembered that the former Shinigami was unused to and confused by pain of any kind. Ryuk immediately retreated back as if struck and Light gave a grunt of protest, feeling oddly empty without Ryuk’s fingers scissoring inside of him. 

“Are you okay?” he asked. 

Ryuk blinked in confusion. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” 

“No, I’m… I’m fine. I really liked tha—I mean I’m fine. I…” Light bit his lip when he noticed he’d been clutching Ryuk so tightly he’d left marks, drawing blood. “I’m sorry.” 

“It _hurts,_ ” the former god complained.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Ryuk.” Light bit his lip and tried to suppress a frustrated groan as his hips twitched, trying to grind against the hands that were no longer there. Light growled again and reached down to take care of it himself. The teen glared murderously when Ryuk stopped him, grabbing hold of his wrist. 

“I thought you wanted me to touch you,” Ryuk hissed and Light shuddered at the feeling of Ryuk's hot breath against his ear. 

Light sucked in a surprised breath and squirmed slightly as he felt the pad of Ryuk’s thumb rubbing softly against his trapped wrist. 

Light sighed, his eyes again fluttering half closed which would further display his long lashes and beautiful golden brown eyes—a truly heart-melting sight he knew—he’d practiced it in front of a mirror.

“I do. Don’t stop,” he commanded. 

“Are you going to scratch me again?” 

“I’ll try not to,” Light insisted. “ _Please?_ ” No, he wasn’t _begging._ It just… couldn’t hurt to be polite. 

“Because I don’t think I like getting scratched…”

Light sighed again. He couldn’t believe he was actually considering this but... “ _Dammit._ I know I’m going to regret this,” he muttered as he located his red silk tie. “Ryuk, uh… if you wanted to… you could… er… here.” 

Ryuk looked dumbly between the tie that Light had handed to him and at the young man himself who was blushing hotly. 

“Er, thanks Light. But I don’t really wear ties…” 

Light just managed to keep his jaw from dropping. _Dammit!_ How could someone so… _skilled_ be so clueless?!

“No, I mean you could uh, _use it_ it to uh… bind my hands so I can’t scratch you and touch me all you want,” Light mumbled awkwardly as he let his loosely hanging dress shirt fall to the floor.

“Oh. _Oh!_ You… you want me to tie you up?" Ryuk had seen that before quite often over the centuries. It's just he hadn't thought Light would ever offer to do such a thing. "You’re sure?”

Light was blushing so hard he almost matched the color of his tie. “I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t sure. So, uh—yeah… Ryuk, I… I want this to be comfortable for you too.”

“O-okay,” Ryuk stammered even as he gently pushed Light down onto the desk again and tied his hands over his head. “Yes. This is much better! Thanks Light! I can pet you now! No more scratching!” 

Light mewled in response, arching up off the table when he felt Ryuk’s hands on him once again. 

Ryuk chuckled “Who’s a pretty kitty?” 

“Oh _God!_ ” Light groaned in humiliation and arousal as Ryuk glanced down to survey his handiwork, he noticed the red, swelling welt he’d left behind on Light’s neck from when he kissed him. 

Light hissed when Ryuk gently prodded it. 

“I’m hurting you,” Ryuk realized with alarm. 

Light barely refrained from rolling his eyes. “You’re not hurting me, Ryuk.”

“But…”

“Look… this sort of thing. It happens. It’s… not that bad.” 

“It looks painful… isn’t it?” 

“It is. But... it’s not bad…” 

“I’m so sorry!” 

“Don’t be! I like it, Ryuk. I want you to touch me? _Please touch me?_ ”

Ryuk did a double-take “You _like_ it?!”

Light stiffened in alarm. He hadn’t meant to reveal that much—especially after he let Ryuk tie him up… 

“Er… yeah. It feels kind of… _tingly._ ” 

“You like pain,” Ryuk repeated in obvious bewilderment. 

“In moderation. I’ll let you know if I don’t like it, okay?” 

“O-okay.” Ryuk stammered as he continued to stare down in awe at the trussed up boy beneath him, Ryuk’s very presence seemed to make the young man squirm, his body lithe and welcoming. It was obvious this wasn’t an act anymore. Light really wanted him to… 

“What?” Light demanded when Ryuk kept looking at him oddly. 

“You are so _weird._ ”

“It’s not that weird!” 

“You _like it_ when I hurt you?!” 

The teen shook his head at the Shinigami’s antics. “I’m not a masochist, Ryuk.” 

“A masochist?”

“Someone who gets off on pain… “

“But you just said…” 

“Pain is just part of the whole human experience. You get used to it and its okay in small doses. I probably wouldn’t like it if you were actually _trying_ to hurt me.” 

“Oh,” Ryuk said in a small voice.

For a long moment Ryuk just loomed there, staring down at what was to be his first lay. Ryuk had a sneaking suspicion it would be Light’s as well. 

“So are you going to touch me or what?” Light snapped with growing impatience as Ryuk continued to gaze down at him as if he were a particularly complicated puzzle. 

“How am I supposed to pleasure you if you like pain? ‘In small doses.’ How do I even do that?” the ex-Shinigami growled in frustration. 

“Just… keep doing what you were doing and stop if I tell you to stop. It’s not that hard.” 

Ryuk just kept staring down at him, paralyzed with fear. 

“Goddammit, Ryuk. You were fine with this a minute ago!”

“Well I didn’t know I was hurting you!” Ryuk argued in turn. 

That wasn’t good at all! Even though his physical form had changed Ryuk was still, in essence, a Shinigami. Part of him enjoyed the idea of causing humans pain. But now Light was _inviting_ him to do it and that well and truly scared him. Light, who had somehow become important to him—Ryuk wasn’t sure how it happened but at some point he had begun to think of Light as his friend rather than his food. Light entertained him and played with him and fed him apples. Light had really come through for him, helping him out of a tight spot when he was spontaneously… turned into food by the Old Man for some transgression he didn’t even know he was committing. And now Light was the one he relied on to navigate the human world which was to be his home until the day his number was up. How could he even think of doing any of that without Light? Fuck. What if he killed him? Or even _just_ hurt him beyond repair… 

Upon seeing Ryuk’s rising panic Light forced himself to relax, to answer him steady and calm, even though at the moment he wanted nothing more than to strangle him. “While I appreciate the concern, Ryuk I assure you, you were _not_ hurting me. In fact it’s the complete opposite. _Ryuk…_ “ Light swallowed his pride. He wished he could reach out and touch the big man but his hands were bound. Seeing no alternative Light gently wrapped his legs around his partner’s waist and, without really thinking about it, began grinding his bare bottom against Ryuk’s large cock, saving his failing erection. 

“Ryuk… _This_ is the part where you fuck me over a table,” Light panted. 

Ryuk whimpered. 

“Ryuk, _please?_ ” 

Ryuk tentatively reached out and once again threaded his fingers through Light’s hair. 

“I’ll hurt you,” he whispered. 

“I trust you, Ryuk,” Light said softly and Ryuk knew at once it wasn’t a lie. In this moment Light’s face held a rare honesty and naïve innocence that really had no place on the face of the one behind Kira’s deeds. 

“You _shouldn’t._ ” Ryuk insisted. 

“Then I trust _me._ I’ll help guide you through it. Okay?”

“Okay. I’ll be gentle…“

“You don’t fuck someone over a table gently, Ryuk.” 

“Then I promise I’ll be _nice._ Please tell me if I’m hurting you.” 

Light shivered and swallowed again, feeling as if he’d become nothing but nerves but nodded as Ryuk gripped his hips in a bruising hold and began to slowly push inside. Light quickly turned his pained grunt into a loud moan—it would be worse to stop at this point, he just… needed to get through this. Light forced himself to relax even further, taking it in, deepening his already heavy breathing as Ryuk filled him with his cock. He let out a genuine pleasured cry when Ryuk brushed that spot inside him again. Thankfully his embarrassingly loud moaning was soon swallowed up somewhat by Ryuk’s urgent, devouring kiss as Ryuk pulled out and enthusiastically slammed back in. Light gasped in shock at the sensation of pleasure-pain as Ryuk rammed back in—Ryuk was much, _much_ larger than his fingers had been but Light found he craved the stretch and enjoyed the ache as he was penetrated deep inside. 

“ _Ryuk!_ ” Light whined; pressing back slightly as he got more used to the feeling of being invaded. This was dirty and sexy and _oh-so-good._ Soon he was eagerly welcoming each thrust. Ryuk’s thrusts became rougher encouraged by Light’s positive responses as the younger man rode his cock. Light was aware he’d probably be feeling it tomorrow but at the moment he couldn’t care less. Supernovas exploded behind his eyes and he tried to stop himself from screaming too loudly—they were in a library, for fuck’s sake! They were probably making too much noise as it is! Light’s mouth twisted in a nearly silent scream—he couldn’t quite put a lid on the strangled whimpers and moans Ryuk teased out of him as he kept pounding him into the table. Light shuddered and gasped in Ryuk’s arms and he was suddenly releasing, hot and sticky all over his stomach. 

“ _Li-Light!_ ” Ryuk groaned as Light tightened around him. Even red-faced and panting for breath, the teen still managed to smirk up at him. Ryuk leaned down again to kiss the delightfully wicked curve of his lips.

Ryuk stuttered out his name again as he thrust into him a few more times and then that burning flood was being released inside of him, filling him up. 

“ _Ryu…_ ” Light moaned, drifting off to sleep right there on the desk. 

It seemed he’d worn him out—not that Ryuk blamed him. After that he was feeling pretty worn out himself.


	5. Chapter 5

Ryuk panted over the desk, spent. He withdrew completely and sunk to the floor on his knees. Ryuk was sorely tempted to follow Light’s example and drift off asleep when he was startled by a sudden knocking on the door. 

“Yagami-kun? We’re closing soon.”

“Oh _shit!_ ” 

Ryuk hastily wiped up the mess with tissues and paper towels and redressed himself and Light. He had more luck with the whole dressing process than he did before Light showed him how a few hours ago—though it was fortunate that Light was wearing a dress shirt so it was easier to figure out which side was front. (That he still somehow managed to put it on him inside out the first time wasn’t really worth mentioning.) 

Light stirred groggily awake when Ryuk picked him up bridle-style. 

“Wait…” Light protested weakly as Ryuk cradled him in his strong brown arms.

“What is it?” 

“Your paperwork! It’s _important!_ ” Light groaned. He supposed it was too much to ask that they didn’t leave any DNA evidence behind—they looked clean but Light knew that didn’t necessarily mean anything—aside from the most obvious source of DNA in the room even a skin cell could be used as evidence. Light had been careful not to contaminate them but that was before… they went on this particular tangent. Luckily Ryuk had the foresight to knock the paperwork out of the way and only a few documents needed to be hastily rewritten. It would be alright—he was a high school student and… he often helped his little sister who liked to procrastinate—he knew how to do things perfectly at the last minute. Light just hoped that whoever might have cause to look at Ryuk’s files, namely L, did not think to run DNA tests on the documents themselves. 

“It all has to go in that box and drop it off in the mailbox outside,” Light instructed Ryuk, “I’ve set things up—all we need to do is drop it off. It will take care of itself.”

“Okay.”

Ryuk recalled seeing Light writing something about that in the Death Note.

On Light’s direction Ryuk gathered up all of the forgeries and put them in a box which he tucked under his arm when Light drifted off again. Ryuk rolled his eyes but found his irritation draining away when the smaller male snuggled into his chest. 

Ryuk carried Light and all their things out when the librarian knocked again, worried they hadn’t heard her the first time. He was careful not to bash any part of the boy in his arms against the doorframe—tempting as it was to wake him up Ryuk was still weary of causing him pain—even if Light apparently sometimes liked it. 

Miraculously the librarian on duty hadn’t heard a thing and given how well-liked Light was around here Ryuk figured she probably wouldn’t say anything even if she did. 

Ryuk gently tucked a lock of Light’s soft, uniquely red-brown hair behind the adorably sleeping boy’s ear.

“Poor boy. Tell him to take better care of himself, will you?” the librarian cooed. 

“I’ll tell him though I doubt he’ll listen to me,” Ryuk answered honestly. 

The ex-Shinigami looked on, puzzled, as the grey-haired women adjusted some kind of device behind her ear and asked him to repeat what he just said. Apparently she hadn’t heard him the first time and the device helped her to hear. Ryuk was once again struck by how ingenious humans could be—when Shinigami’s bodies began to wear out they were pretty much resigned to the decay. Humans though—they fought against it and tried to fix things even when it was ultimately futile—just like his Light… 

“I said ‘I’ll tell him though I doubt he’ll listen to me,’” Ryuk repeated for the sake of the librarian. 

“Please do. To collapse like this….” The librarian just shook her head. “At this rate he’s going to push himself into an early grave. All this studying! He really does need a break.” 

“Yes ma’am! You’re absolutely right. He should take a weekend off or something! In fact, I do believe it’s my duty as his boyfriend…” 

“Oh goodness!” 

“I’ll drag him to the movies if I have to. Or maybe the theatre… Oh, I know! Spaceland! Spaceland is fun!” 

The librarian smiled and wished them well. 

*** 

“Oh no!” Light stirred at Ryuk’s sudden, panicked exclamation after Ryuk had dropped off Light’s forgeries. 

“What is it?” Light snapped, suddenly fully awake when Ryuk’s sense of panic proved infectious. Had something gone wrong with his plan? 

“We didn’t use a condom! I’m so sorry, Light. I got you pregnant!” 

The serious teen gawked at his… _companion_ before barking out an uncharacteristically loud laugh. “I really don’t think we have to worry about that, Ryuk.”

“If you say so, Light…” 

“Ryuk, I strongly suggest you study those pamphlets I gave you in greater detail. I assure you, it’s _completely impossible_ for men, I mean for people born male to, uh… get pregnant…” Light began with utmost confidence but then trailed off as he considered the loopholes and it hit him that he was living in a world where notebooks killed people and that his best friend had spontaneously changed species. He really should know better by now then to tempt fate. “…unless there’s something about Shinigami you’re not telling me….” 

Ryuk looked at him oddly. “I’m a human now, Light.” 

“Just checking,” Light muttered as he glanced worriedly at the drop box. The criminal should come along, break in, and pick it up in an hour and then he and his buddies, other names Light had written in a carefully worded paragraph in the notebook, would break into the various government and medical buildings and offices and file away the forged documents in their proper places with no one the wiser. Light was tempted to stay and watch but they really did need to get home and what would they do waiting around for an hour anyway. 

Light’s gaze landed on the tattoo parlor across the way. 

The killer giggled to himself. 

_As if!_

Light rolled his eyes upon seeing some heavily tattooed punk lounging at the bus stop sporting a bright green Mohawk and multiple piercings. _What an attention-seeking **loser** … I mean what’s he trying to do? Pose as a Yakuza…_

That’s when it hit him.

_Shit!_

Things just weren’t going as planned today! There was one gaping flaw in the backstory he’d drawn up for Ryuk—something that Light, in his sheltered existence, had overlooked—Yakuza and those affiliated with them tended to have tattoos. In fact they tended to have a _lot_ of tattoos.

Ryuk didn’t have _any_ tattoos. He had no marks on his body, no scars. Nothing to indicate that he'd lived the rough life of a Yakuza gangster. Light supposed the later could be attributed to Ryuk being so tough that no one had ever managed to even land a blow or something—but he knew _that_ excuse would fall apart as soon as Ryuk was revealed to be a total wuss when it came to pain. Maybe Ryuk could pose as a white collar member rather than a fighter... but then Ryuk didn't really have the skill set to pull that off. Maybe he might be taken for a toy child or something? In any case this must be rectified. And fast. At the very least Ryuk would need some ink.

“I’m sorry, Ryuk but you need at least one tattoo for our story to fly.” 

Light explained as he had Ryuk carry him over to the tattoo parlor. Light was pretty sure he’d recovered and he could walk again now but Ryuk didn’t seem exactly inclined to put him down. Light wasn’t exactly inclined to ask either. 

Upon reaching the door to the shop Light noted the extra security gate on the door with approval. He secretly wished he could put one on the door to his bedroom without looking paranoid. Light found the inside to be surprisingly clean when they peeked in the window—it almost had the air of a medical clinic. 

Ryuk winced when he saw someone getting it done—he wasn’t at all fond of the idea of needles. “That looks like it’ll hurt.” 

Light rolled his eyes. “Don’t be such a big baby.” 

“Fine. I’ll get one if you get one,” Ryuk challenged. 

Light blanched. “No way!” 

“Then no deal.” 

“I can’t, Ryuk. My father will murder me—” 

Light was interrupted by Ryuk’s mouth on his. Light found himself relaxing as Ryuk sloppily kissed his way down his chin. Light moaned as Ryuk began sucking on the previously discovered weak spot on his neck. 

“Don’t worry—I’ll protect you, my sweet prince. Okay?” Ryuk murmured sweetly into his ear. 

Light found himself blushing again and staring dreamily up at his _companion._ “O-okay...” 

“Good,” Ryuk smirked. 

“No fair! You cheated!” Light grumped as Ryuk carried him into the tattoo parlor. 

“No take backs!” The former Shinigami declared with a shit-eating grin. 

“Dad’s gonna think I joined the Yakuza,” Light groaned. 

The teen continued to sulk until Ryuk kissed him again. 

“A-are you sure you’re not a sex god?” Light gasped out once he’d caught his breath once again. 

“No. I’m a human now. But I think I’ll take that as a compliment.” 

“Good, it was meant as one. _Holy fuck,_ Ryuk,” Light gasped and squirmed in his arms. “If you keep doing that there’s no way I’ll be able to stay still for the procedure.” 

The larger man laughed—his laugh had little changed from when he was a Shinigami. It was still deep, almost croaking, though now it was perhaps a little more… livelier. 

“Now let’s see about getting that art, shall we?” 

“Ri-right.” 

Surprisingly no one gave them any has hassle about their very public display of affection. Perhaps they were intimidated by Ryuk’s sheer size. Ryuk reluctantly let Light stand on his own so they could both better examine the wall of sample art. All at once Light was glad Ryuk had taken to carrying him—as embarrassing as it was—he was quite sore from their earlier adventure and Light found it was painful to walk. Light leaned casually on Ryuk as he examined the wall—there were snakes and twisting dragons, torches, leaping tigers, and flaming hearts. 

“Have you decided what do you want?” Ryuk prompted after they’d stood there for a while. “Because I think I know what I want to order.” 

Light felt a tic forming in his eye—this was a bit more of a weighty decision than ordering fast food. 

Light sighed—resigned to the fact that no matter what he got or what they did, he was going to get in trouble either way. 

“As long as it’s not a picture of someone’s dick or something I don’t care… I think… yeah. I’ll get whatever you get.” 

“R-really?” 

Light blushed and looked away, suddenly embarrassed and he had no idea why. “Yeah.” 

There was an odd note in Ryuk’s voice as he made his decision “Give me the black feathered wings on my shoulder blades.” 

Light winced at the realization—Ryuk was human now and he could no longer fly. Ryuk probably missed having wings—Light knew he would if he could fly around whenever and wherever he wanted and then one day just… _couldn’t._ Light understood the Shinigami’s shock and fear back in the shop a little bit better now. 

What was that like—to suddenly be _stripped_ of everything you are? 

Light felt a sudden, irrational surge of protectiveness towards his companion. 

Before he had determined to help and protect Ryuk just because it was in his own best interest but now… 

Now he would protect him because… 

Because... 

Because he wanted to. 

_Why,_ he may never know…It was _completely_ irrational and yet he found he'd grown quite _fond_ of Ryuk. The sex probably had something to do with it. Light found himself blushing hotly at the memory of the last few hours. He knew he probably shouldn't have added sex into the mix—it just made everything so much more confusing! But he wanted it to be believable and he felt it certainly could be now. Even he could believe that Ryuk was his boyfriend... Light shook his head—it was much too late to worry about it and he had to make plans to make sure their story held—he'd deal with his own dumb feelings later. 

“Please be gentle, it’s his first time,” Ryuk quipped at the tattoo artist and Light’s eyes flashed red in irritation. 

“ _Asshole._ ” 

“Oh I know! Give him white wings! Give him angel wings! That’d be a riot!” 

“Shouldn’t I have a say in this since it’s my skin?” Light groused. 

“Alright then which one do you want?” Ryuk prompted. 

After a minute of again surveying the samples of skulls and demons and bloody swords Light finally sighed in defeat. “The angel wings.” 

It did seem the least offensive of the potential art to his father’s delicate sensibilities. 

“I knew it!” Ryuk crowed. 

“Shut up.” 

Ryuk laughed as he struck up an oh-so casually sexy pose in the chair next to him as he took off his shirt. Light bashfully looked away, cheeks burning with embarrassment— _of course, they both had to be shirtless for the procedure._

“I know what my boyfriend wants!” Ryuk smirked. 

_Dammit! Why does he have to be so **infuriating?!** _

Light forced himself to remain calm even as he heard the whir of the needle behind him and Ryuk gave a startled whine from the table next to him. 

“I can’t believe we’re actually doing this.” Light murmured as the needle bit into his back. 

“Don’t look at me—it was your idea,” Ryuk grunted. 

“ _Ugh!_ Don’t remind me,” Light grumbled, but forced himself to remain still for the procedure. 

*** 

“Ow,” Light groaned as he knocked back another pain pill. The procedure was done and without any complications. Still… _fuck,_ this hurt! And forget his father, his mother would kill him. Why did he think this was a good idea? 

“Don’t be such a baby,” Ryuk grumbled. He’d already taken the full dose of pain medication and was thus blissfully numb—unlike Light who’d tried to tough it out. It hadn't felt so bad at first—in fact Light had even kind of enjoyed the ache—it was only later that it got to be too much. 

“No apples,” Light declared with his most murderous glare—pain and irritation shortening his already frayed nerves. 

“You shouldn’t threaten me when I’m carrying you, Light. My hand might just slip...” 

Of course Light was perfectly capable of walking on his own but he found he kind of liked having Ryuk carry him around and apparently Ryuk liked carrying him. 

“You wouldn’t _dare._ ” 

They both knew that that he was bluffing and that if Ryuk did what he threatened Light wouldn’t be letting Ryuk carry him around anymore. Light sneered; his already dark look somehow became even nastier. (How a mere human could make such evil faces Ryuk would never know.) 

The ex-Shinigami’s big gold eyes softened. “You’re right. I wouldn’t.” 

“ _Ha!_ ” Light barked out with a triumphant smirk. 

“Fine then. No sex,” Ryuk countered peevishly.

He’d gone without for thousands of years. He could go without again if he had to. It would be hell, sure, but he could do it. It really was Light, with his teenage hormones, who wanted it more. 

Light’s face fell, bright brown eyes widening in shock and horror. “ _No fair!_ ” 

To his humiliation Light realized that his whined protest was eerily reminiscent of Ryuk whining for apples—something that didn't go unnoticed by Ryuk. The ex-Shinigami smirked down at him, insufferably smug. 

"Are you really already that addicted to my cock?" 

To Light's further embarrassment he found himself shivering in Ryuk's arms in obvious excitement and Light let out a small moan at the very mention of it. 

Ryuk just laughed but Light would not be defeated so easily. 

“…I could make you walk home, you know,” Ryuk grumbled as Light began kissing his neck in an attempt to make him reconsider. Ryuk could feel the teen laughing in his arms. “Keep doing that and I won’t be able to wait until I get you home,” Ryuk growled in annoyance as Light kept nibbling at his jaw line. 

Light smirked again. “I win.” 

“ _Brat._ ” 

Light chuckled as he unlatched the door to his house—they were about to give L and whoever else was monitoring the surveillance on his house the shock of their lives. 

“We’re home!” Light hollered to the empty house as Ryuk carried him across the threshold. 

“Nice place you got here, Light,” Ryuk whistled, pretending to be seeing it for the first time. 

“It’s my parents’ house.” 

“Still nice,” Ryuk chattered inanely. 

“My room is upstairs,” Light explained to his “new” guest. “Er… you don’t… you don’t have to carry me.” 

“I want to,” Ryuk countered and Light found himself blushing again. Well, at least he didn’t have to fake his reactions. 

“O-okay.” 

Light snuggled up impossibly close against his boyfriend’s chest so Ryuk would be less likely to accidentally bash him into a wall or banister. 

“It’s been a couple of hours. I think it’s okay to take it off now,” Light decided as Ryuk set him down on the bed. 

Ryuk removed his shirt once more and Light helped him carefully peel the bandage off. It also gave Light an excuse to touch him—Light didn’t want to admit it but he immediately _missed_ the feeling of Ryuk’s arms around him. 

“That’s amazing, Ryuk!” Light declared upon seeing the ebon wings unfurling dramatically over his shoulder blades. 

It was beautiful… but Light still chewed his lips as he realized there was yet another factor he had overlooked—it was obvious that this was a new tattoo and Ryuk was supposed to have been raised Yakuza. Surely he would have gotten his tattoo sooner? Well that couldn’t really be helped. He was sadly lacking in time machines. It wasn’t perfect but if anyone asked, Light supposed he could get Ryuk to say that he got his old Yakuza tats removed or decided to cover his old one with a new one or something to signify his turning over a new leaf or something stupid and sappy like that. 

Ryuk whooped when he saw his inked wings in the mirror. 

“Let’s see yours!” Ryuk ejaculated excitedly. 

Light blushed again as Ryuk swiftly divested him of his top. 

“Oh, wow! It’s so pretty! Look Light!” 

Light looked at his back with his set of mirrors, admiring the artistic detail of each feather of the white wings on his shoulder blades. 

“It’s beautiful,” he admitted. 

His parents were still going to kill him. 

“ _You’re_ beautiful...” Ryuk said smoothly. 

Dammit, he was blushing again. 

“…Especially when you turn all red like that!” Ryuk cackled. 

“Ryuk, wipe that smug look off your face.” 

“No… I don’t think I will— _my angel._ ” 

“ _Ugh!_ ” Light’s snort of derision turned into another gasp as Ryuk gently traced the edge of the tender skin. 

“Oh I’m sorry. Was that not cool enough? Then I meant my awesome avenging angel of justice!” 

“Cut it out!” Dammit! There were cameras in here. What if L or the investigators took that as proof that he was Kira? “‘Angel’ is fine, Ryuk,” Light huffed as he made his way towards his bed. 

“Come now, Light," Ryuk teased as he crept up behind him. "We both know you’re no angel.” 

Dammit, was he deliberately being difficult? Was he really so bored he would endanger them both? 

Light determined that kissing him again was the best way to shut him up. As to whoever was watching—well the assholes wanted to be voyeurs to his life, so they got to be voyeurs. He’d already determined that having Ryuk around would be more distracting and shocking than any simple porn magazine he might buy… 

Light abruptly pulled away, inexplicably uncomfortable again. 

“I’m going to be in _so much trouble_ over this,” the teen groaned. 

Ryuk shrugged. “What they don’t know can’t hurt them.” 

“You don’t understand. My father is a detective, remember? You can’t hide _anything_ from him!” 

“You managed to hide me. Does he even know you like men?” 

"Not men," Light snapped. He wasn't quite ready to apply any such labels to himself. In any case he couldn't imagine doing _that_ with anyone else. "Just... just you." That was way too intimate and... and things were confusing enough already. In fact the very suggestion that he might do it with someone else nearly made him ill. "I want _you._ No one else." 

"Light..." Ryuk said softly and Light abruptly looked up at Ryuk's dulcet tones, meeting his eyes. Ryuk drew close and gently brushed Light's bangs out of his face and leaned in until their foreheads touched. 

"Dad— _I mean _Ryuk_!_ " 

Ryuk did a double take and abruptly drew back. "Did you just?" 

" _NO!_ " Light snapped in absolute humiliation that he misspoke in such a way. _Fuck!_ Just what was _wrong_ with him today? It was this whole stupid sex thing, Light decided, it was playing havoc with his carefully maintained equilibrium and making him all _emotional and stupid._ It was _stupid!_

He wanted to do it again.

 _Stupid!_ He shouldn't be letting human emotions interfere with his plans let alone shatter his perfect image. Yet here he was revealing things to Ryuk that he had long repressed. Things that he himself had forgotten or hadn't been aware of. He had exposed himself to Ryuk and to anyone else who might be listening in. So _stupid!_

"Cuz It sounded to me like you just..." 

"Just forget about it, Ryuk!" 

"I'll take it as a compliment that you think so highly of me. You obviously think I take care of you..." 

"But that's not true at all," Light insisted, " _I_ take care of _you!_ " 

"But obviously, _subconsciously_ —" 

"Just forget it, Ryuk!" Light groaned, beyond embarrassed. 

"I hate to break it to you, Light, but I think you might have some serious issues." 

"Ryuk, I swear! I'm not some creepy pervert with daddy issues!" 

"I don't mind if you are, Light. You can call me 'daddy' if it pleases you." Ryuk grinned, taking a seat in Light's desk chair and gripping Light by the hips, pulled the blushing teen into his lap. Light shook his head fervently, blissfully unaware that he was blushing most cutely—or at least Ryuk thought so. "No. _Just no._ " 

"You clearly look to me for protection and comfort and there's nothing wrong with that. Yes Light, I know you take care of me. It's okay, if you want, you _know_ I can take care of you." 

"Dad is never here," Light began in a small voice unconsciously snuggling into Ryuk's chest before he caught himself. "I mean, I'm sure that's the only reason he wouldn't know..." he declared, abruptly getting up and trying to expunge the last five minutes from his mind. 

Ryuk looked on with concern as Light paced agitatedly around the bedroom. 

Light belatedly wondered if his father was among the investigators watching his room and inwardly cringed. He certainly _hoped not!_ And surely he’d stop watching if he saw him getting physical with someone he brought home… at least that’s what Light wanted to believe. 

“ _Ouch!_ Don’t you think that’s a little harsh?” Ryuk chided. 

“Harsh, Ryuk?” 

“I mean, sure, I’ve never met your dad so it’s not really my place to say but..." 

“Just what are you getting at?” 

“I don’t mean to say your life is perfect. I mean, it clearly upset you…” 

“He didn’t upset me, Ryuk! I mean, he’s a busy man! Of course, I understand…” 

“He did and it does—you don’t get bitchy like this for no reason.” 

“ _Bitchy?!_ ” 

“Yeah, bitchy.” 

Light's right eye twitched. 

“I’m not being bitchy.” 

“I think I can tell when my bitch is being bitchy, Light- _chan._ ” Ryuk smirked and Light threw a pillow at him. “I mean aside from being a bit distant, he did everything a father is supposed to do, right? It’s just, I mean…. I sincerely doubt he’s as bad as _my_ dad. At least your father never threatened to kill you or thought assassins made good babysitters or…” 

“Okay! Okay, Ryuk, I get the point. I didn’t invite you over to have a… angst measuring contest.” 

“Because you know I’d win. And any other sort of measuring contest as well.” 

Light arched an eyebrow. “An I.Q. test?” 

“Fine. You got me there. Mine’s still bigger.” 

“That’s fine by me,” Light snapped and then seemed to realize what he just said. The teen looked away, blushing _again_ —this was getting to be a bad habit. 

So it came as a total surprise when Ryuk playfully slapped his ass. 

“My bitch!” Ryuk declared affectionately. 

Light groaned and nearly fell to his knees when Ryuk came up behind him and caught him under his arms. 

"I forgot. You’re still sore from earlier, aren’t you? I’m so sorry.” 

"It's fine, Ryuk." 

Light abruptly pulled away when he noted Ryuk's face—he'd sounded sincere but his face was all smugly smirking jerk. 

" _Asshole,_ " Light groaned again as he sat down on the edge of his bed. 

"You know you love it." 

"Your horrible! Don’t you ever let my father hear you say such things." 

“You could always just introduce me as your boyfriend.” 

“Are you _serious?!_ ” 

“Don’t you think it’s better to just tell them then to have them find out?” 

“How do you figure that?” Light snapped, flopping back onto his bed with his hands behind his head in an overly relaxed pose and playing the part of “typical teenager” to the hilt. 

“It’s like pleading no contest rather than going on trial for homicide—less humiliating in the long run,” Ryuk suggested and Light’s eye twitched. 

Ryuk grinned. Oh this was fun! It was so much more fun to be part of the game! Now he could understand why Light got so giddy and giggly after getting away with his nefarious plans and murders. 

“You _would_ know all about that, wouldn’t you?” Light snapped, refusing to “break character.” He might as well use his recent humiliation to make those watching them think they didn't know about the cameras. 

“Yeah I suppose. Though the legal stuff mostly comes from watching you.” 

Light dramatically closed his eyes and let out an overly exasperated sound. 

“ _Please_ don’t tell me that I’ve only made you into a better criminal.” 

“Of course not! I meant it when I said I was out. I suppose I have Kira to thank for that. Maybe I should light him a candle or something. Or her.” 

Light did a double-take. “ _Her?_ ” 

“Come now, Light don’t you think it’s possible that God might be a woman?” 

“Honestly the thought never crossed my mind.” 

“No need to be so sexist, Light.” 

“Weren’t you a Yakuza pimp?” 

“Nah, that’s my cousin. Anyway I like my theory. Kira is _totally_ a little bitch.” 

Light forced himself not to fly into a self-incriminating rage, promising himself that Ryuk would get it later. 

“That’s an amazing discovery, Ryuk!” Light reached for his cellphone. “Shall we call the tip line now?” 

“Nah. I heard they’ve got the legendary L on the case. I’m sure they’ll figure it out without our help… you’re not going to get involved with Kira either, right? I mean… you heard about the Americans? Please promise me you won’t get involved.” 

“Ryuk, I can’t promise you that. I’m already involved because my father is—that already makes me a target.” 

“I don’t like it.” 

“I understand why dad felt he needed to go against Kira. I support him completely.” 

“I still don’t like it. But if you want to… I’ll support you.” 

“Ryuk?” 

Ryuk cuddled up next to him, allegedly for “moral support.” 

“Kira killed my family. Sure they were asshats but they were still my family.” 

“Thanks, Ryuk. But you shouldn’t be open in your opposition—not with your past. Please, you don’t want to get on Kira’s radar.” 

“Hypocrite,” the big man scoffed. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Don’t you see? You and your father—you’re in just as much danger as I am. Kira kills criminals and police officers alike—it doesn’t seem to matter to Kira.” 

Light shook his head and Ryuk grinned again at the cute way the teen had tussled his soft brown hair—it was especially amusing knowing how anal the teen got about his looks. 

“Still… best not tempt fate. If Kira notices you you’d probably end up dead too. Not to mention that his supporters are all crazies. They’d probably want to kill you too if they knew you were ex-yakuza.” 

“I can take care of myself, Light.” 

The teen arched an elegant eyebrow. “Yes, you’re doing an excellent job with that—what with me having to bail you out _again._ You are _such_ a pain in the ass!” 

Ryuk once again had that wicked glint in his soft golden eyes. “I thought you liked it when I was a pain in the ass.” Ryuk chuckled as Light groaned and covered his face with his hand. “Just admit it, Light. You don’t want me to behave—that would be _boring._ ” 

Light forced an effeminate giggle for the sake of the cameras and grabbed Ryuk’s larger wrist, pulling him into bed on top of him—because surely, Light reasoned that _actual sex on camera_ couldn’t be as embarrassing as this conversation! 

Light leaned up and claimed Ryuk’s soft now-human mouth insistently. It was a bit weird to think about just how much had changed just from this morning—Light imagined he’d probably would have had difficulty kissing Ryuk if he were still a Shinigami—at the very least this brutal clash of teeth would most definitely be ill-advised. 

“Aren’t you going to stay for Round 2?” Light asked with a smirk as he tossed him a bottle of hand lotion. 

“Are you serious? _Here?_ ” 

“Why not? I already told you—spend the night.” 

“Your father will murder me.” 

“I’ll protect you,” Light insisted as he wriggled enticingly beneath him. 

“Shouldn’t that be my job? As your _daddy?_ ” 

Light groaned as Ryuk groped his ass. 

He assisted in the swift removal of clothes so that they might again enjoy the friction of skin on skin—that was much better. 

“I want to feel you in me again,” Light panted as Ryuk rubbed against him. 

Ryuk laughed when the brunet let out a lusty whine when Ryuk slapped his ass. “You are such a cockslut.” 

Light hid his furious expression beneath the fall of his bangs. He couldn’t respond too negatively because of the cameras so he forced a giggle again. 

“Just… shut up and get inside me.” 

“As you command, princess.” 

Light moaned loudly as Ryuk entered him again he was still wet and loose from earlier so it was fast work to get him ready again. 

The bed thumped so loudly against the wall that it jostled Light’s desk. Their fun was interrupted when they were rocked by a literal explosion. Light was aware of Ryuk shielding him as the world went white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evil cliff hanger is evil
> 
> Spoilers  
> 1\. they are still alive  
> 2\. this is a crackfic, not a tragedy  
> 3\. yes, the desk went boom. That's why you shouldn't keep bombs in your rooms, kids.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Interlude, L’s Hotel Room_ **

_“Who is that man and what has he done to my son?”_ Souichiro roared, leaping out of his chair, and gesturing at the multiple screens on which the scene played out: Light being carried into the house by the larger man, Light and that… _stranger_ bickering and dancing around each other. 

L wasn’t fairing much better—his poor ice cream cone had fallen from the odd detective’s slackened grip, and now melted in a minty mess, forgotten on the floor. The great detective gaped, equally shocked as his suspect’s father, as they watched the monitors. He had thoroughly researched Light Yagami’s background and not once had this stranger ever come up. The raven-haired man bit his thumb, eyes squinting in concentration even as he shifted forward in his seat, ever in his trademarked crouch.

“Your son’s boyfriend, apparently.” L remarked pensively as he obsessively rubbed and played with his fingers. "But this almost seems contrived… it’s too cheesy.” 

And it didn’t fit the profile—his suspect was raised in a fairly conservative, heteronormative background. He wouldn’t want to damage his perfect image with a regular boyfriend—casual flings he could understand, but a regular boyfriend? No, it couldn’t be real. 

L chewed on his thumb in earnest when he heard Light and the stranger discussing whether or not Light should come out to his family or not. Light was clearly worried about the outcome but that he was even _considering_ it… 

Perhaps he had to rethink his profile. 

Souichiro gasped beside him drawing L’s full attention back to the happenings on the screen. 

It was just bombshell after bombshell. 

No, he _definitely_ had to rethink his profile.

Light had gotten a tattoo?! Straight-laced Light Yagami had gotten a tattoo?! And not just a tattoo but one that matched this stranger’s!

L shook his head as if to clear it. 

How could he have gotten his profile so wrong? Unless of course Light was aware of the cameras and this was all an act, that was a definite possibility, but if it was would Light really go so far just to throw off suspicion? L wanted to say yes but… No. Light would not want to compromise his image. 

This just didn’t make sense! 

What could he possibly have gained by such an action? Furthermore there were Light’s interactions with the other man, the alleged “boyfriend.” No, this didn’t seem like an act, it felt _genuine._

Souichiro looked about ready to faint.

L paid special attention to their discussion when the subject of Kira was broached...well up to the point the ‘boyfriend,’ the mysterious “Ryuk” slapped his suspect’s ass and said suspect seemed almost… _at ease_ with the treatment. 

Souichiro made a strangled sound and L too gawked at his Kira suspect’s submissive behavior. The information that Light Yagami was “cute” filtered into L’s mind before it was neatly filed, compartmentalized away from relevant case details in a deep, dark corner of the great detective’s genius brain. L had already noted that the teenaged suspect was attractive and charismatic and had all the tools and temperament to be a master manipulator—the last thing he needed was to find himself ensnared. L sternly reminded himself he was probably looking at a mass murderer—no matter how cute said murderer was—and that this poor bastard was probably just one of Kira’s many tools—L just had to figure out what Light gained out of it. That’s what L told himself, refusing to acknowledge the pang of jealousy and rush of arousal when he saw the stranger hold Light in his lap. (He was just glad he wore baggy jeans and said suspect’s father could not see his current… problem.) 

“At least this means he can’t be Kira… right? _Right?_ ” Souichiro demanded, near hysterically as Light fiercely kissed the larger man on camera. L bit his thumb as the big man, again, groped Light’s ass inducing a clear sexual response. 

Sure, in a word association game ”Kira” and “dominance” seemed to go hand in hand but that really, clearly, had no bearing on his suspect’s sexual inclinations. In any case it would be foolish to apply traditional stereotypes to one such as Kira. Kira wasn’t a typical murderer—he didn’t kill with a knife or gun, and after numerous, extensive testing they had even ruled out poison. No, from what they could tell Kira killed from a distance by some yet unknown supernatural means but however Kira killed it seemed it was far easier than most conventional methods of murder. 

If Kira’s powers were as easy to use as the sheer number of deaths reported daily seemed to indicate then conceivably _anyone_ could kill as Kira did. It was just the way Kira operated, and responded to L’s challenges that suggested that Kira was both very intelligent and had an enormous ego—a profile that fit Light Yagami to a tee. Furthermore Light was a conformist… or had been ( _A tattoo? Really?_ ), sheltered, and raised in a police household which seemed in line with what he had conjectured about Kira’s background and Kira’s goals. Also Light’s record was just too perfect—to L that just _radiated_ suspicion. 

L watched, unblinking at the screens as the scene played out for him from multiple angles—the older man had quickly turned the tables, dominating the kiss and L’s breath hitched as he observed how the tall, dark stranger made Light melt, moaning into his arms. L found the human part of him stirring again—though L wasn’t sure if he wanted to _be_ him or wanted to join them. 

L startled when he heard Souichiro, trying hard not to cry, and thus drawing attention to the fact that Light had just casually referred to the other man as Yakuza. L gaped, equally shocked at the monitors. 

It did fit—the stranger’s mannerisms, the secrecy… and yet something still felt off about the whole thing. Surely L would have found something in Light’s perfect background if he was in regular association with him? When would he have had time to meet with a Yakuza? And the man was Yakuza, or Ex-Yakuza, allegedly. Of course L and Souichiro both knew that when it came to organized crime it was exceedingly rare that the criminal would quit for good—either his “family” or his enemies would one day force him back in. 

“Are you alright, Mr. Yagami?”

The Police Chief sagged beside him as Light and the stranger continued to alternately bicker and fall all over each other on the monitors.

“I have utterly failed as both an investigator and a parent. I am pretty far from being ‘alright.’”

What did he do, as a father, when his parenting skills were being condemned by his own son and defended by a _Yakuza?_

He really had tried to be a good father but he did have a busy schedule. And then as now, Light always said he understood. Souichiro supposed he was never very good with the whole emotional aspect—he left that to Sachiko—but he never realized that Light could be feeling so neglected because of it. Light was always doing so well with everything and he was rather aloof himself—Souichiro had never even suspected that there might be anything wrong. Sachiko had always reported that Light had perfect grades and no problems at school so that translated as “no problems” to Souichiro. If anything he would have thought that Sayu might be the one to be like this—that’s why he took extra care to support and indulge his daughter. He honestly didn’t think Light needed it but in retrospect that assumption might have just fed into Light’s feelings of neglect and resentment. 

“How could I have missed something like this?” Was he truly so disconnected with his family’s lives? 

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You’re an excellent father,” L assured but Souichiro didn’t look convinced—now he had a Yakuza and a sugar-junkie defending his parenting skills—that wasn’t exactly reassuring. 

“Even with my extensive background check on your son I never found anything to indicate your son had a boyfriend.” 

“Really?”

“Yes... Which means something’s off about the whole thing.” 

“I knew that much,” Souichiro said gruffly as he stared blankly at the screen. 

“Mr. Yagami… I’ll be blunt with you. Before today I was fairly certain I was correct to suspect Light was Kira.”

“And now?”

L chewed on his thumbnail. “If it was an act it was brilliantly done. It looks… _genuine._ But it’s _absurd_ to think that Kira would have such a loving relationship with a Yakuza.” 

Beside him Souichiro broke out in harsh, hacking coughs. 

“Though perhaps that is what he wanted us to think...”

“I didn’t think Light would either… have this sort of relationship and with a criminal. But… no, I don’t think he’s Kira, either.”

L looked askance—Souichiro was a good man but it was obvious he so strongly wanted to believe in his son’s innocence that it affected his alleged impartiality, but then L had known that much already. 

Their attention was abruptly refocused on the monitors when Light began moaning loudly and the bed began thumping against the wall. 

Souichiro buried his face in his hands. "Turn it off." 

"Mr. Yagami..."

" _Ryuuzaki..._ " Souichiro returned with more than a note of warning in his voice. 

"I understand, but I _have_ to keep watching—" L began in his usual blunt manner when the screens lit up with a massive fireball and Souichiro stumbled out of his seat. 

_“Light!”_

Souichiro stared, staggering to his feet as he continued to stare in shock at the monitors, his brain refusing to believe what his eyes were telling him—what the hell was happening? That, _that_ just couldn’t be real! His son… 

Souichiro sagged to the floor, vaguely aware that L was shouting something into his headset and had hit the emergency button and was sending an ambulance to his home address. He attempted to stagger to his feet when he felt a sudden pain in his chest.

L saw Souichiro's collapse.

" _WATARI!_ " 

it was a good thing Watari was a certified E.M.T. 

***

A certain pink leather-clad motorcyclist stared in disbelief at the fireball that blasted outward from the second story of the Yagami’s suburban home. It was the first day of surveillance and L had had her stationed nearby in case there were any issues with the surveillance equipment. Well, this probably counted as an issue. 

Her transceiver immediately crackled to life with the sound of L's voice filter. “Wedy, can you reach them? Light Yagami and one other were on the second floor. Please retrieve them if you can.” 

“I’m on it.” 

Yes, working with L was quite the thrill—Wedy was no stranger to breaking into burning buildings and locked doors were no issue to the master thief. 

It was distinctly hot in there, and even hotter under the skintight leather catsuit but she was no stranger to discomfort either—it took considerable mental discipline to do what she did and this wasn’t nearly as bad as scaling skyscrapers on burning days and freezing nights. It was sweltering for the blonde, but she didn’t dare take off her helmet—not only because it offered some protection against the smoke but she was all too aware that this was L’s Kira suspect she was rescuing and she’d much prefer to remain anonymous. She wouldn’t lie—it was tempting to leave him there, she had lost many good friends to Kira but then she was a strong supporter of "innocent until proven guilty" and was well aware that even a legend such as L occasionally made mistakes. And even if one _was_ , probably, Kira there was no mention on the identity of the other one, he could be completely innocent and just got caught up in all of this. So she would follow L’s orders and rescue them both on the off-chance that they were just kids and not connected with Kira—her conscience would not allow her to leave them to burn to death. 

She worked quickly to locate the targets on the second floor—just as L said but the fire was swiftly spreading to the rest of the house. Wedy scaled the wall to the second floor—the stairs were already gone. She took care to step over glowing embers and brittle wood in certain parts of the floor that were being consumed from the inside out. She found them in the boy’s bedroom—both had been knocked out by the force of the blast and appeared to have suffered some minor burns. They were still breathing at the moment but that might change if they were to remain there, inhaling the smoke. Wedy dragged the two men out of the inferno as she worked out how to get them all out. Wedy swiftly clipped her emergency harness around the smaller male because it fit him better of the two, knocked out a window with an elbow strike, and carefully lifted the younger one down with the aid of her climbing gear into the waiting arms of the paramedics. Wedy then followed, dragged the larger man out with her—strapped to her with a different kind of harness—this one she normally used for carrying heavy safes that she wished to abscond with and crack open at a safer location—so he was not nearly as heavy as the usual load. Wedy mused that she certainly got her exercise—between weightlifting, scaling buildings, and outrunning both L’s enemies and officers of the law—she knew if she ever died of heart failure it wouldn’t be due to natural causes.


	7. Chapter 7

Light woke up at the hospital when he felt another warm body climbing into bed with him. Luckily a very familiar warm body… His lover, even if for a moment it seemed he’d misplaced his name. But that he'd forgotten, even for moment, was quite upsetting to him. He had a near eidetic memory so how could he have forgotten something as important as _his lover's name?!_

 _He shielded me from the blast. Fuck! He might have even died for me and I can’t even remember his name?! What the fuck is wrong with me?_ Light thought furiously as the larger man spooned up behind him. 

After much mental straining the name finally came to him. Ryuuku Kingu. _Ryuk._ The Yakuza... No, his _Ryuk._ His (Light blushed) _boyfriend._

Light remembered… he remembered… that they were going to come clean and introduce Ryuk to his father, _obviously._ That must have been why they were rehearsing for when they would meet him and…

And it suddenly hit Light that he was dating a _Yakuza._

No, Ryuk had _been_ Yakuza but he hadn’t gotten on with his family and then… well. They met and… well, really, it was because of _him._ _He_ had turned Ryuk away from a life of evil. Ryuk wanted to be a good person, to live a good life _for him._

How could he possibly say no to _that?_

At heart Light was an idealist and strongly believed in the inherent goodness of people—well, sure there were plenty of rotten people out there in the world that spoiled it for everyone else but Light still believed that, deep down, even the most rotten of people still wanted to be good, _would be good,_ if not influenced by the rot around them. 

But too often people lives were ruined by the rotten environments in which they lived that caused them to go bad and the rot grew and spread like a cancer on society. But if the infection was somehow _removed_ what remained would thrive and without the rotten influencing them, people would be good. 

Ryuk proved Light’s ideals to be correct—outside of a bad environment, Ryuk was an alright guy—no, better than _alright_ —he’d even saved his life! Ryuk would _thrive_ away from the Yakuza—Light would make sure of it. Light startled out of his thoughts as he felt how Ryuk clung to him with unspoken emotional need, Light embraced him in turn, wishing he had the power to curse the people who hurt him. He could almost thank Kira for… removing them. 

_Almost._

Of course it was still murder and Kira should never have killed people—Light could even understand the desire to change the world—but Kira had allowed himself to become one of the rotten, the corrupt. On a personal level, Ryuk was no doubt more affected by the deaths of his family than he let on and Light could _never forgive_ Kira for hurting Ryuk. 

_His Ryuk._

Light smiled, and closed his eyes, all too easily lulled asleep again by the comfort of Ryuk’s arms around him and the steady sound of the other man’s beating heart. 

As Light unconsciously snuggled into the warmth strange visions danced behind his eyelids and assaulted his mind—Light was suddenly beset by some strange half-formed thought—something about crow’s wings and ominous black notebooks. 

Blood.

Blood pooling on the pavement. 

_So much blood._

He was drowning. 

Then _madness._

_Screaming._

Blinding light. 

Light shook himself awake. 

The blast must have rattled him harder than he thought— _the blast!_

“R-Ryuk?” 

“Yeah? I’m here. How are you doing?” 

Light took a quick inventory—he wasn’t missing any critical pieces as far as he could tell. 

“Sore. A bit… sunburned, I think, and my ears are still ringing but otherwise alright… wait, how’s my hair?” Light panicked. Hell, the fire could scar his skin but not his pretty, pretty hair! 

“A bit singed.”

 _“DAMMIT!”_

“It’s still there though—it should be fine if you trim off the edges,” Ryuk appeased him, while reaching out to run his fingers through the brunet’s locks and Light heaved a sigh of relief. 

“So… er… How are you doing? I mean, I assume you’re okay, that you wouldn’t be up if you weren’t…” 

Light began as he leaned back against his lover’s chest… and felt something warm and wet through the thin sheet of the hospital gown. 

“Wait, are you _bleeding?!_ ”

“Well, you see, I kinda broke out of my room to see you.”

Light turned around as much as his own monitoring wires and IVs would allow. 

“Goddammit, Ryuk! Please don’t tell me you just ripped your IVs out!” 

“What’s wrong with that? People on TV do it all the time!” 

Light pinched the bridge of his nose. “You could get infected! Or…” 

“I just really wanted to see you, alright?! How did they expect me to just lay there when I didn’t know if you were alright?” 

Ryuk pouted as Light hit the panic button. 

“Listen, you need to get that looked at…”

“I’m okay, I think. I mean it’s just a little blood.” 

“….Who knows what you did when you ripped out the IVs?” Light snapped, “It was probably your medication…” 

“And as for the other thing, well, I just got like a second degree burns on my back or something but nothing major… It doesn’t even _hurt!_ ”

“Probably because you are on _pain killers_... or were. You know that was probably what was in those IVs. I assure you, Ryuk, you will be singing a different tune when your painkillers wear off.”

Ryuk whimpered. “I just wanted to see you.”

Light’s glare softened slightly. Knowing how much Ryuk loathed pain... he must have _really_ wanted to see him to go so far as to injure himself in order to escape. “I know. And I just want you to take care of yourself. Okay? …What’s wrong?” Light asked with genuine concern when he noticed that the other man looked a bit down. 

Ryuk sighed. “I know this might seem trivial since we’re lucky to be alive and all. But, I mean… you’ll laugh.” 

“I won’t laugh.”

“Promise?”

“You didn’t laugh about my hair,” Light pointed out and Ryuk sighed again. 

“The burns on my back… My tattoo is ruined. I guess I’m just not meant to have wings.” 

“Aw, Ryuk…” Light trailed off when he recalled his earlier idea to cheer his love up. He wasn’t sure where this train of logic had come from or what the hell he was thinking but... it _must_ have been a brilliant idea since he thought of it. “Er… There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you about. You know there’s a hang gliding club at Touhou…” 

“Hang gliding?”

“You know, it’s kind of like… flying, gliding on the winds with a device, a parasail.” 

_“AWESOME!”_

“No hang gliding. Doctor’s orders,” the stern nurse declared as she marched into the room. 

Ryuk groaned piteously. 

Light winced. “Of course, we weren’t planning on doing it _now!_ I meant when we get better.” 

“No hang gliding for _at least_ a month,” the nurse tsked. “You two certainly love to live dangerously.” 

Light cringed again. “Er… not really…” 

“ _Of course!_ Danger is my middle name!” Ryuk declared with a grin and the stern nurse actually giggled. Light scowled at him—he most definitely _did not approve_ of his boyfriend flirting with the nurse.

“You don’t have a middle name.”

“Well, then I do now!” Ryuk hollered even as the nurse began leading him to the door, intent on returning him to his own room. 

Light sighed again. “I don’t suppose it’s possible for us to share a room? Otherwise I’m afraid this is going to happen again.” 

“He’s right, you know,” Ryuk agreed. 

The nurse scowled. “We could always restrain you…” she began when Ryuk gave her impressively manipulative puppy eyes. It was the same look he’d get when he was pleading with Light for apples. Light just rolled his eyes—why his lover had such an apple fetish he would never understand. 

“I’ll see what can be arranged,” The nurse finally relented. 

“ _Awesome!_ ” Ryuk shouted again, pumping the air. 

Light just shook his head with proxy embarrassment. _Why am I dating him again?_ Light thought furiously with equal parts annoyance and affection. Perhaps that was it—Ryuk might be annoying but at least he wasn’t boring. Light shook his head again—his head was still kind of woozy, his memories a bit scattered but as far as Light could tell the obnoxious older man just kind of grew on him—kind of like a fungus. Oh and the sex. The sex was good. Ryuk was a guilty pleasure he indulged in... well, no wonder he was so fond of him—he was like the human form of potato chips. To his annoyance he found himself already missing the idiot's company. 

Dammit, he was _Yakuza_ , or ex-yakuza, and as flattering as it was that he wanted to be a better person for him—in the long term how would this even _work?_ What would a future be like with Ryuk? Would they have a future at all? Light had his future career to consider and _surely_ his father would never approve! But... Light knew he couldn't just turn him away. Light's heart ached at the thought of living without him. Light remembered, his life had been _so boring_ before meeting Ryuk—it hardly seemed worth it to keep on living at all. Why would he ever want to go back to that meaningless existence? Furthermore Light felt _responsible_ for him.

 _Goddamn martyr complex._

Light sighed and flopped back onto his stiff hospital bed which suddenly seemed too big and too cold. 

This was going to be a long stay.

***

“Should you really be up so soon?”

“Are you kidding? I’m as fit as a fiddle! I feel better than I ever have in my life.”

Admittedly Souichiro was pretty spry for a guy just recovering from a heart attack—indeed he had nothing to show for it but a few new grey hairs. Despite his recent brush with death, there was a reason for Souichiro’s good mood—not only was his son still alive but now he was fairly certain he wasn’t a mass murderer. Even L who had been quite stubborn about it was beginning to believe in the possibility of his son’s innocence. While confined to a hospital bed for the last day and a half Souichiro had come to terms a bit more about his son dating a man—though the fact that said man was Yakuza was still a cause for concern. Souichiro was trying to vanish those last, disturbing images of his son getting intimate with the Yakuza when something occurred to him. It seemed a silly concern perhaps given the circumstances but… 

“Just how many people saw my son naked?” 

"Just the woman I sent and the paramedics" and whoever in the neighborhood stopped to gawk at the burning house while they were being lifted down. Not very many, really, since it was in the middle of the afternoon and most of the residents in the area hadn't gotten back from errands, school, or work. It was an ideal time to break into a house... or install cameras as both L and Wedy knew. 

"Women?" _Some strange woman saw his son naked?!_ Souichiro's thoughts must have somehow shown on his face as the strange detective elaborated. 

“I’m sure she was more concerned about getting him out of the burning building then whether or not they were wearing pants." 

For that matter L suspected Wedy wasn't even attracted to men but that was hardly his business nor Souichiro's. 

"I assure you, Wedy is a professional.” 

“A professional _what?_ ” 

“A professional security consultant and infiltration expert,” L murmured as he idly sucked on and played with his fingers. 

Oh. _A thief._

“She works for me,” L added and Souichiro reminded himself that this woman had just saved his son’s life. 

“Well, whatever she is, she has my thanks.” All things considered a bit of lost modesty and having his son caught with his pants down by L’s people and some paramedics was nothing compared to having to attend his child’s funeral and it’s not like they had any privacy anyway because of the damn cameras.

Souichiro psyched himself up, putting up a stern front to use when questioning his son and his boyfriend. Even though both he and L knew his obvious bias, Souichiro was trying hard not to show favoritism and to interrogate him just as he would any other suspect. Right now he was supposed to be acting in the capacity of a police chief, not as a father. 

***

Soon after The Ryuk Incident, his father arrived, accompanied by a strange man. No, that didn’t do it justice—a _really strange man_ , as in someone Light would never expect to see in the company of his respectable father.

Light was then subjected to what could only be called an interrogation from his father while the strange man just crouched childishly on the doctor’s chair and stared at him unblinkingly—it was more than a little disturbing but Light did his best to pretend he wasn’t there. It wasn’t hard given his father had taken the lead on questioning him on the explosion and the embarrassing events leading up to it (how he knew about _that_ Light had no clue, he and Ryuk were always so careful!) The stranger only spoke to give the occasional snide comment that Light suspected from the tone were meant to be insulting but for the most part Light had no clue what he was going on about. Though Light couldn’t help but wonder why his father kept the company of this weirdo who clearly got off on teasing high school students. Perhaps he was a police informant or something who his father just happened to be in the company of when he heard about the… accident? (Light could only imagine it was an accident—maybe a gas main explosion?) Light scowled slightly when the strange man pressed his fingers to his lips and chuckled at him—that was more than a bit unnerving. Light wished his father would just arrest him—in a perfect world they wouldn’t have to rely on petty criminals to see justice be done. 

Light held in a sigh and kept such thoughts to himself, making sure to be helpful and cooperative and answer all of their questions, even the embarrassing ones, though he wasn’t quite sure what they were looking for.

“I have checked Light-kun’s schedule,” the odd man began around a mouthful of gummy candies he’d stuffed into his mouth and Light nearly cringed at the suffix this stranger used. They were not nearly familiar enough for him to call him ‘kun’ and Light did not like this familiarity coming from this stranger but he decided to let it slide—the weirdo was probably a foreigner anyway. 

“Light-kun studies so hard.”

“Uh… thanks,” Light decided on diplomatic. It was wondrous how this weirdo could somehow make a compliment sound like an insult. 

“But what I don’t understand is when Light-kun would have even had time to have a boyfriend? You say you’ve been together for months?”

“Well, often when I went out for walks I was actually meeting Ryuk. And, uh… sometimes we’d meet during lunch break… I had him over at the house sometimes too…” Light admitted. His memories were alarmingly hazy at the moment—Light attributed it to the accident—but he was fairly confident that all those times he hadn’t gone out walking alone, that Ryuk had been with him—after all, who else would he be seeing but his boyfriend?

Light couldn’t even remember what they’d talked about but Light just figured the topic must have been so trivial, or he had been so enamored of Ryuk’s presence, that he barely remembered the event itself—only the vague impression of joy and smug satisfaction it gave him—so meeting with his boyfriend was really the only explanation that made any sort of sense to Light. After all, what else could he possibly be doing? Getting away with murder? _Yeah, right!_ No, he was definitely getting laid.

Though he did wonder what he had been thinking, bringing one of his beards along on that ill-fated Spaceland trip. Light cringed again—looking back he’d probably just been trying to make Ryuk jealous. Why else bring them both? Light had odd, fragmented memories of writing sometimes too while he was out but that in itself wasn’t particularly alarming—he was probably just reviewing for his entrance exams. After all, his mother had encouraged him to _study, study, study_ whenever he got a spare moment and he did—even on dates—discreetly, of course. But despite his classmate’s many lewd suggestions that he marry his notebook Light knew he wouldn’t get that kind of thrill _just_ doing homework. No, they must have been dates with Ryuk and the sex was so mind-blowing that it left him wondering who he was—after that time in the library he could certainly believe it... 

“You are so grounded.” 

“Dad!”

“I am very disappointed, son.” 

“I’m so sorry, dad.” 

Souichiro looked pointedly at the weirdo he’d brought with him watching the byplay with keen interest. Souichiro scowled. 

“We’ll talk later.” Souichiro declared sternly.

However, despite the implications of his father’s parting words Ryuk was moved into Light’s room shortly afterwards. Apparently it was the secret meetings during school hours rather than the fact that he had a boyfriend that he disapproved of. Though Light got the sense he didn’t like Ryuk very much either, but at least they were prepared for that. They both knew it would be a challenge for the son of the Chief of Police to date the son of an Oyabun. They were like Romeo and Juliet—well, except without the whole dying tragically at the end thing, hopefully.

Ryuk would later relate that he too got the third degree from Light’s father and the weird dude but that he had told them all he knew because, as Light said, he was supposed to be putting his past behind him and he didn’t want to end up on the wrong side of the law. 

“But seriously, what’s up with Sonic the Hedgehog?” Ryuk stage whispered when he saw the weird man exit the room. 

Light rolled his eyes—Ryuk was hardly one to talk—he too had gelled his hair up into a similar arrangement of spikes that stuck out of the back of his head. 

“No clue, but he’s not someone my father would normally bring home. I imagine he’s… a consultant of some kind.”

“That’s right, Light-kun!” The stranger called obnoxiously as he reentered the room, arms laden with every sugary treat Light could think of and then some as he hopped back up to once again to squat on the doctor’s chair.

“Kun” again. Light supposed he should count his blessings—at least he hadn’t started addressing him as “chan.”

 _Rude, asshole pedo panda-frog…_

Only Ryuk had ever been so forward (but in that case he, admittedly, kind of _liked_ it…) 

Light barely managed to keep the irritation off his face as his father and the odd consultant then questioned both him and Ryuk _again._ Once again Souichrio asked most of the questions while the weirdo listened and sampled his way through all the candy the hospital vending machine had to offer—apparently the red vines were far more interesting than their conversation—Light felt vaguely insulted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:** Regarding notebook memory loss: Ryuk lost his notebook (along with all his clothes) when he was turned human so his memories of his life as a Shinigami were anchored in Light’s notebook. They both lost their memories when the notebook went boom. So both Light and Ryuk believe their cover story and have interwoven it with the bits and pieces of what they do remember. 
> 
> Notebook memory loss doesn’t seem to cause you to forget skills or knowledge you acquired during the time you had the notebook, just knowledge of your life and events when using the notebook. (For example Yotsuba!Light was still skilled at manipulation though it freaked him out to use it. The wipe may also leave holes that don’t make much sense but the mind may try to rationalize (i.e. Yotsuba!Light’s memories of his Spaceland date and his weird conversation with Naomi Misora which he figures were probably not important or else he would have remembered it. No sense in needlessly incriminating himself.) 
> 
> For Ryuk even more has been wiped or altered because he was a Shinigami. For example, he doesn’t remember the Shinigami but he remembers he spoke to some asshole card players on a regular basis and he kind of resented them, feeling bored and trapped by circumstances.


	8. Chapter 8

Souichiro sat on the couch in the hospital waiting room while L crouched beside him, blithely munching his way through the world’s sugar supply. It was 3 AM and sensible people were at home, sleeping. Souichiro, however, was waiting for L to admit he was wrong about his son. He imagined that would be what this upcoming discussion would be about.

He was still waiting. 

Meanwhile Watari puttered along behind them, allegedly checking the walls for bugs and wiretaps that were not their own. L was nothing if not thorough—read _paranoid._ Before _that_ the detective had insisted they wait until it was just the three of them in the waiting room so that they could discuss their findings in privacy… it was only after the waiting room emptied that L had instructed Watari to begin his bug and camera search. 

Souichiro was beginning to suspect that he was stalling. 

While they waited, Souichiro thought back over his afternoon of interrogations. “Ryuuku Kingu”… was not at all what he was expecting. Upon learning that he would be matching wits with the son of Oyabun Kingu, Souichiro Yagami had entered his hospital room, grim-faced and determined. The name of Kingu was infamous—the Oyabun was known in some circles as The Dragon for his incredible luck, power, and absolute viciousness when dealing with his enemies—even other mobsters feared to speak his name. Souichiro had once met Oyabun Kingu face to face—it was back when he was a rookie officer and the Oyabun had smirked at him as he was acquitted yet again. Of course some might have said that the Oyabun’s cocky attitude was earned—he’d proved utterly untouchable by the long arm of the law. The Yakuza had luck on his side as well as plenty of money—really, when it came down to it, it was mainly a matter of money—Kingu had money for the very best lawyers while the police investigating him only had the funds for faulty listening devices and the garbled recordings were thrown out of evidence before they even went to trial. 

It didn't help with first impressions that Souichiro supposed that this ‘Ryuuku’ _could_ conceivably be the Oyabun’s son. He had a similar look, similar build, and similar devil-may-care attitude. Though Ryuuku wasn’t nearly as rotund as the Oyabun—Kingu had liked to eat and had received many an exotic and expensive meal on the house from his fearful “protectorate” daily (if not for the rest of his clan dying with him people might have wondered if he truly had been one of Kira’s victims or if he had simply died of natural causes.) Yes, Kingu had escaped prosecution every time but in the end he could not escape Kira. That it took Kira to finally bring him down was a huge slap in the face for the police who couldn’t help but feel that in this case justice had completely and utterly failed. 

As for this “Ryuuku” himself, he had no criminal record but that probably didn’t mean he was innocent—it was hard to believe that in all his years associating with Kingu that the man’s son would never have committed a single crime. No, it was more likely that this meant he’d just never been caught. He wasn’t missing any fingers either so he must never have messed up or displeased his bosses. Souichiro could feel it in his gut—this man was incredibly dangerous. 

And he was dating his son. 

Souichiro had been quite merciless with his interrogation but this Ryuuku had been infuriatingly cooperative… 

***

Ryuk honestly didn’t remember much about his past except it had mostly been boring but he helpfully related what he did remember of it to Light’s father and the strange man who was with him. He even agreed with Souichiro that there were probably drugs involved though he couldn’t name what he had been on or how often—he seemed to remember being hooked on _something_ for many years but he’d clearly just displaced the addiction by eating apples.

The peculiar man watching him perked up at that but had yet to say anything. Ryuk decided he was mostly harmless. 

Ryuk only had vague recollections of his years in the Kingu compound which only formed in his mind after hours of intense questioning and Souichiro insisting that that _must_ have been his childhood home. It was probably true. Though Ryuk remembered sitting in the dirt a lot—the Oyabun probably had a rock garden. Ryuk remembered that there had been others there too—lazy assholes who mostly took to gambling and napping on the job and they’d often, casually, talk about the people they killed but Ryuk didn’t remember ever killing anyone himself. Ryuk speculated that the others had been his guards, older soldiers keeping watch on him for most of his life. Though he did remember they would sometimes laugh at him when he tried to study or learn anything. (Ryuk supposed that’s why it was so hard and Light had to really, patiently _push him_ to instill any study habits in him now.) 

He didn’t socialize with them much. Ryuk realized that he’d been kept pretty isolated and that his father, Kingu, had been distant and not at all loving. He had stutteringly related all of this to his boyfriend’s scary, intimidating father and his equally unnerving companion—the guy’s staring was really giving Ryuk the creeps. 

Ryuk supposed that the world just hadn’t seemed _real_ before he met Light. It was alright by him—he knew they weren’t happy memories and he’d rather not remember those years filled with boredom and horrors and he didn’t need them to feel complete—not when he had Light. Light was his entire world. 

***

Souichiro frowned contemplatively—after speaking to Ryuk, the Chief had concluded that the former Yakuza was more akin to a spoiled toy child than the ruthless assassin he had initially been envisioning—Souichiro was almost disappointed. In retrospect perhaps he should have heeded his son’s impression of the man—when Souichiro had questioned Light separately and he’d expressed his concerns that Ryuk might be dangerous.

_“Ryuk? No dad, he’s not dangerous. In fact, he’s like… a big teddy bear!”_

Souichiro had, admittedly, been hoping for a little more danger and intrigue when he started the Kira case but as it was he was stuck in a room going over paperwork more often than not. Then Ryuk had presented himself. A Yakuza—a tangible enemy he could actually fight. 

What he found instead was a simple and seemingly honest man if a bit childish, though Souichiro found himself a bit desensitized to behaviors he would otherwise find irksome after working with Ryuuzaki for several months. Come to think of it, they could have been cousins… if spiked black hair was genetic. (Maybe _that’s_ why L hid his identity. It would have been difficult to gain credibility as a detective if he had such obvious ties to organized crime.) 

However, just because the man he was interrogating wasn’t a hardened assassin didn’t mean Souichiro wasn’t concerned about what this might mean for his son—after all, if "Ryuuku Kingu the spoiled toy child" would be used to getting what he wanted regardless of the feelings of others that too would make him… unsuitable. 

_Speaking of childish men…_ Souichiro looked askance at Ryuuzaki who was still stuffing his face, trying to fill the void that was the bottomless pit of his stomach and Souichiro marveled at the memory of L’s “Grade A” detective work… 

“I found it interesting that you called Kira a little bitch.” L had remarked while consuming candies then as now. 

“So?” Ryuk shrugged.

Souichiro was equally perplexed by the lack of relevance in this line of questioning. 

“You also called Light a bitch,” L declared as if he’d just had a eureka moment and Souichiro had just closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and counted to ten in an attempt to not strangle them both. 

“Yeah, but Light is a different sort of bitch.” 

“How so?” 

“He’s _my_ bitch.” 

Souichiro sputtered. 

“That is… Light is my bitch who I will cherish and treasure forever and always,” Ryuk amended for the sake of his boyfriend’s increasingly irate father. The supposed Yakuza shrunk under Souichiro’s withering glare. “Er… I know I am not fit to lick his shoes. I worship the ground he walks on. He is my precious Princess… ahem, _Prince!_ I promise to treat him like the God of my World…” 

“Do you now? And he enjoys that? How very Kira-like.” 

Ryuk had then furiously rounded on L—suddenly looking just as dangerous as Souichiro had first assumed him to be. “I’m saying _I love him,_ you asshole! And don’t say that shit about Light! He’s nothing like that scum Kira! Do you really think someone who exterminates criminals would help someone like me? Would _want_ someone like me? Light saved me. I owe everything to him.”

“If you owe everything to him then you’re hardly an unbiased character witness.” 

“ _Fuck you,_ ” Ryuk snarled and that had effectively ended their discussion. 

***

Souichiro cleared his throat when L continued to ignore all for the sake of his candy—he wasn’t slowing down. 

“So… what do you make of it?” 

Despite the blatant disrespect Souichiro couldn't help but finding himself liking the former Yakuza a bit more ever since he stood up to L and defended his son. However Souichiro recognized his own bias and thought it best to get a second opinion even if he was well aware that said second opinion was clearly biased in favor of his son being a serial killer... He was still curious about what L's impression was of Ryuk—except when it came to his son, Souichiro was pretty sure that the Great Detective was a pretty good judge of character.

They had questioned both subjects extensively, both together and separately, but apparently L hadn’t found whatever it was he was looking for—though by far the oddest question L had posed so far was whether Ryuk knew or was related to a man named Beyond Birthday—apparently he “had his laugh” L had suggested with even greater suspicion. 

***

_Could it be possible? He completely changed his appearance once before…_

It _must_ be B. It was always B when it wasn’t Kira… the attention whore, he was probably jealous that he was chasing a new serial murderer. It seemed that Mr. “Notice Me, L-senpai” had yet to get over him.

L had then hastily checked to make sure B was still where he last left him—incarcerated in a Los Angeles prison. When both Watari and the prison wardens assured him that B was indeed still in his cell, L heaved a sigh of relief… and then ordered up a DNA test on the man just in case—he wouldn’t put it past the man to swap himself out for another prisoner and perform some impromptu plastic surgery. 

If Kira had somehow teamed up with his rogue successor… that would be the worst possible scenario. L wanted to take them _both_ into custody immediately but without some serious evidence against them the taskforce, and specifically Chief Yagami, wouldn’t allow it. 

L knew Souichiro wanted his son completely cleared as a suspect but that was something L couldn’t quite bring himself to do, especially in light of this latest report on Kira’s activities—as soon as Light was hospitalized the pattern of the deaths had changed again. Sure, Kira continued to kill but the killings had slowed and none of the victims dying now were the names recently released by the media. L already knew that Kira could control the time of death so L suspected that Kira had just set up a queue of murders. 

L viciously crushed a panda cookie between his finger tips. 

As bizarrely out of character as it seemed for someone like Kira to fall in love with a criminal it was still _not impossible_ that Light and Kira were one and the same. 

L shook his head, allowing his dark mane to fall into his eyes. He did not like this Ryuk. Not at all. Honestly everything about this new player on the chessboard was suspicious but at the moment L had no evidence of any wrongdoing—that alone was suspicious of an ex-Yakuza, or one associated with them. For that matter, were they even sure he was Yakuza? They only had the suspects’ word on the matter. 

L then opened a box of store-bought frosted sugar cookies, and retrieved one of said cookies so he might hold it over his head, staring at it thoughtfully. L further stalled having to answer Souichiro by obnoxiously running his tongue along its underside and outer rim. 

As Souichiro had noted Ryuk did bear a striking resemblance to Oyabun Kingu. L was tempted to order up a DNA test but then realized that that alone would not prove or disprove the Yakuza connection—even if Ryuk was not the Oyabun’s biological son it was not uncommon for the Kingu clan to take in "Toy Children” to spoil and perhaps one day take over for them as heirs. 

“Some of Kingu’s paperwork appears to be forged but really, that is to be expected given his background in organized crime. No, Ryuk is a red herring as far as Kira is concerned and as for Light… He’s not at all how I imagined Kira to be…” L admitted as he licked up all the icing, “No, that’s just it—he’s _changed._ No, not even being in a relationship would account for this sudden change… ”

“Or maybe you were wrong about my son,” Souichiro said sharply. 

“ Wrong… I suppose it is possible… I never claimed to be perfect.” L mumbled with his mouth full, the cookie had already disappeared into the Great Detective’s maw, “I’d say maybe a 3% possibility. No… more like 2.2…” 

“ _Ryuuzaki…_ ”

“Does your son have a history of mental illness?” 

Souichiro balked at the question. 

“Of course there was nothing in Light’s file to indicate as such but given the stigma such conditions often go unreported and untreated.” 

“Not to my knowledge, no. Why?” 

“While I’ve only been directly observing him for less than a day, you know I have been investigating him much longer. From what I’d already extrapolated from Light’s records there has been a _marked change_ in Light-kun’s personality from when I last observed him.” 

“And Ryuk?” 

“I don’t know Ryuk well enough to make a judgment.” 

Souichiro looked at L incredulously. “You’ve observed him for the same amount of time as you’ve observed my son.” 

“True but, unlike Light, I have not been investigating him for months,” L explained around another cookie. 

L had noticed that Ryuk somehow felt different as well but he _really didn't _feel like he had enough information to make a judgment. Besides, pointing that out might lessen the impact of his theories on Light as Kira. No Light was the suspect, not Ryuk. They should be focusing on Light…__

“They’ve both been through horrific trauma,” Souichiro reminded him, somehow coming to the conclusion L had been hoping to avoid—it would have been far more convenient if he could just point out the change in Light’s behavior and somehow link it to Kira but then Souichiro had to deduce L’s alternate theory on his own. 

It was almost as if Souichiro was a detective too. 

L knew Mr. Yagami had a point that Light might be traumatized but L wouldn’t call it _horrific trauma_ —to L “horrific trauma” involved knives, barbed wire, and strawberry jam.

“Perhaps Kira, and Kira’s powers, is like a parasite that passes between people and Light-kun is no longer a suitable host?” L suggested, though he suspected they both knew he was truly grasping at straws now. 

“ _What?!_ ”

“I know it’s far out there—it’s not a possibility I would normally consider but given the evidence I’d be hard pressed to think of a way Kira could be committing his murders without something _supernatural_ at play here.” 

“But if that’s the case then catching Kira would be next to impossible!” 

“Believe me, Mr. Yagami, I really don’t want that to be the case. I’m afraid we’re chasing ghosts, dancing in the palm of someone’s hand.” L gulped down his cookie. “All we can do is keep watching Light…”

Souichrio made a grunt of disapproval. 

“And others who fit the profile,” L added placatingly, “to make sure Light doesn’t become Kira again…”

“You’re assuming he was Kira in the first place!”

“It’s just a precaution,” L assured him as he reached for yet another cookie.


	9. Chapter 9

_“Ow!”_ Ryuk whined piteously from his hospital bed—a little while ago he had just received what would be the first of many shots after he’d guilelessly admitted he’d never been to a doctor’s office before. 

“It’s just as well.” Light insisted and Ryuk shot him a dirty look. 

“I don’t like shots,” the ex-Shinigami decided.

“It’s true they aren’t pleasant but it would really upset me if you were to die of some easily preventable disease.” 

“Why? Would you rather I die of some more exotic disease?” Ryuk asked, genuinely curious.

“No, you idiot—I don’t want you to die at all!” Light snapped. 

Ryuk shrugged. “Well I don’t know if there’s anything I can do about that. If I die, I die. You know?” he trailed off, fidgeting under the weight of Light’s murderous glare “Uh… I’ll try not to.”

“Good,” Light decreed, sitting down on the bed next to Ryuk so that he might embrace him properly, careful not to disturb the still-sensitive spots—the healing burns on Ryuk’s back and the shoulder where Ryuk had gotten his shot. 

The nurses had finally unhooked them from all the wires and the machines so that they could move around more freely. That meant they should be going home soon, which was good news though Light was somewhat dreading that—he knew their release would bring its own set of challenges—number one being convincing his father to let Ryuk stay with him because that cat was not only long out of the bag but leaping through flaming hoops three-ring circus style. It would be like yesterday when his father’s pet weirdo had abruptly intruded on them, coming in uninvited into their hospital room to watch them make out and then suggesting that they “pretend I’m not even here.” Light knew that to his family, Ryuk would be just as easy to ignore—that is, _not at all._

Speak of the devil, they had yet _another_ meeting with “Call-Me-Ryuuzaki” along with his father over lunch—Light grimaced, naturally it was hospital food again which this time consisted of some brown cube thing that was allegedly meat, half-frozen peas, a rice brick, a limp lettuce leaf, and some green sugary mush that was allegedly Jello. Light sighed, and promised himself that next time he would follow Ryuk’s example and pester them until they gave him a fresh apple—no matter how impolite it was, it had gotten results. 

“Whose idea was the sex?” Souichiro asked abruptly and Light nearly spit out his “salad.” 

_“Dad!”_

“It was mine,” Ryuk answered easily, “I just thought we could have some fun.” 

Souichiro harrumphed and wore a look that seemed to shout “I got you now, evildoer!” 

Ryuk barely refrained from rolling his eyes—he was so self-righteous! Maybe that’s where Light got it from. That thought seemed uncharitable somehow—after all, he couldn’t quite remember a moment where Light looked _that_ self-righteous. But then, admittedly, his memories were a bit hazy at the moment. 

“But look… I’m not gonna do anything Light doesn’t want to do. Light takes care of me so of course I’ll take care of him! I promise, Mr, Yagami, if anyone tries to hurt Light I’ll kill them! I mean it! Just say the word and they’re dead!” 

Light pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ryuk… that’s not the best thing to say to the Chief of Police. Dad, please keep in mind that Ryuk was raised in a very different environment. That’s just his way of saying he’ll support and protect me. That wasn’t an actual death threat, was it Ryuk?”

“Not unless you want it to be.”

_“Ryuk!”_

“Hey, you know I don’t want to go to jail or whatever but I mean it—I will do whatever it takes to protect you.”

Light sighed and buried his face in his hand. “I guess it falls on me then to keep you out of trouble and make sure you’re not an idiot.” 

“Now that’s a lost cause if I ever heard one,” the obnoxious candy addict remarked before trying to swallow a Reese’s peanut butter cup whole.

 _“No one asked you,”_ Light snapped. He wasn’t sure what it was exactly—the verbal abuse, the stalking, the repulsive eating habits—just _something_ about this guy’s very existence rubbed him the wrong way. It was really grating on his nerves. Once again “Ryuuzaki” had claimed the doctor’s stool for himself, having dragged it up right next to the hospital bed to better stare at them from his perch on top of the stool, like some ungainly carrion bird. If not for Ryuk’s snarl of disapproval Light had no doubt that the weirdo would have hopped up into bed with them. 

_“Light!”_ came his father’s reproach for Light’s “rudeness” while this Ryuuzaki could be as rude to him as he wanted—that’s how it worked, apparently. Light wasn't sure when exactly he had acquired this weird and obnoxious twenty-something year old man as a _little brother_ (despite his age this "man" was far too childish to ever be considered an older brother) but his father seemed to have adopted him while Light was stuck in the hospital. 

“What is your problem with us anyway?” Light demanded when he noted how his father’s eyes narrowed upon noticing his and Ryuk’s entwined hands. 

“Son, we just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“I could keep Light-kun safe,” L’s mumbling around a mouthful of jawbreakers went nearly unheard yet somehow Souichiro caught it and turned his angry gaze at Ryuuzaki. 

“Then you should be pleased that I have such a fierce protector of my very own.” Light declared, clearly indicating the Yakuza. 

“Son, this isn’t a game.” 

“No,” Light said, catching his father’s gaze with his own, “It’s not. What more will it take for you to accept him?” 

“Light…” 

“Dad… _Please._ He even protected me during the accident!” 

“It wasn’t an accident,” L cut in again and Light was thrown entirely.

“What? What are you talking about? Wasn’t it a gas main?” 

“No one told you?” Souichiro exclaimed, for some reason his father glared accusingly at the sugar addict. 

“Er, no...” 

“We just assumed…” 

“What happened?” 

His father suddenly appeared quite tired as he sat down in the visitor’s chair across from them. Souichiro took out his handkerchief and began to clean his glasses. 

“It wasn’t a gas main explosion, Light. It was a bomb. A bomb planted in a hidden compartment in your desk.” 

Light paled considerably. “There was a _bomb_ in my _desk?!_ ”

L leaned forward in his chair, his pencil thin eyebrows knitting in confusion—if it was an act it certainly was a convincing one. Light clearly had not known about the bomb in his room. L’s gaze wandered over to his suspect’s boyfriend and noted that Ryuk looked no less confused and horrified. 

“What I want to know is what Light-kun had in that drawer,” L cut in again. 

Light saw no harm in answering. “Just a diary, maybe some school notes? I don’t really remember—I didn’t use it that often…” 

“I’m sorry…” Everyone’s attention was suddenly focused on Ryuk’s cringing form. “You know I’m ex-Yakuza… Well, not officially, but I know that they all assumed I’d go into the family business. They were probably after me. Light, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think they knew about you. I should just… go.” 

Ryuk then tried to flee but Light caught his wrist. 

“Then I’m going with you!” Light declared hotly, abruptly rising to his feet. 

_“Light!_ You can’t… you can’t just up and leave! What about Touhou? I won’t let you put yourself in danger!" 

_“Dad!”_

“He’s right, Light-o. I’m not worth it.”

“No, don’t say that! I’m not letting you go through this alone!”

“Light, my very presence here puts you in danger!” 

“You don’t know that! And in any case you think I can’t take care of myself?”

L gawked at the rare, genuine display of emotion given by one Light Yagami and L was suddenly beset by the niggling idea that Light would have made a great ally had he not been Kira. 

“Hmmm… given that the bomb was in Light-kun’s desk…” L mused aloud as he unwrapped another peanut butter cup even as Light continued with his frantic scolding. 

“We don’t even know if it was your fault! It might not have even been Yakuza! And they might not even have been after you! What if I was the target?!” Light paused as the realization hit. “Shit. I _am_ the target.” 

“Light…”

“Ryuk, it was in _my_ desk. No one knew about us—I never mentioned you to anyone. So whoever did this, they weren’t after you. Someone is trying to kill _me._ ” 

“They still might have targeted you to get to me. But… you’re right! They shouldn’t have known about you! I never told anyone about you either and no one ever saw me.” 

“Never?” Souichiro prompted. 

“Well, there was that one time but it didn’t seem important… what?” Ryuk questioned at the collective groaning from the room. 

“Do you know _who_ saw you?” L questioned. 

Ryuk thought about it for a moment and L took special care to note his eye movements—looking up and to the left which revealed he truly was trying to remember past experiences and not fabricating a lie. Liars tended to stare straight at you when speaking to conceal the lie... like Light did practically every time he opened his mouth. 

“Some small timer, I think. Not much of a conversationalist.” Ryuk distinctly remembering noticing that one guy who was wanted on the news board the bus that one time Light and him and that one chick (whatsherface) went to Spaceland. Ryuk even remembered talking to him but overall he was drawing a blank over most of the content of that particular meeting. Ryuk shrugged. "Probably wasn't very important." 

"I'll be the judge of that," L snapped. 

“And where is this witness now?” Souichiro demanded. 

“I don’t know... but, wait. You know? His face was all over the news—I think Kira got him."

Light and Souichiro groaned again and L consoled himself with opening another bag if candy. 

_Well if **that** wasn't completely pointless..._ “If the bombing _was_ an attack by the Kingu Yakuza then we can’t very well ask them if they put out a hit seeing as they are all dead.” 

Ryuk cringed and Light hugged him. 

“You’re all tact, aren’t you Ryuuzaki?” Light said scathingly. 

“It needed to be said,” L said, completely unapologetic in between licks of chocolate, “It’s quite convenient really that there are no witnesses left alive to call your story into question.”

Light startled and then gained that overly-righteous look in his eyes while meeting Ryuuzaki’s own accusatory glare “What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Was this man really... accusing them of something? 

At first Light had attributed the stranger's negative attitude to either homophobia or dislike of Ryuk's criminal past. But... no, he was actually pretty indifferent about Ryuk—he just seemed to have a problem with _him._ To Light this was grossly unfair—he'd never done anything to him. At least not in this lifetime. 

_Dammit! What's his problem? It's **obvious** we're the victims here! What a piece of shit. Next he's going to start accusing me of setting the bomb up myself! _

"Did you plant the bomb in my desk?" Light accused in turn. 

Ryuk stiffened next to him and not-so-subtly positioned himself between Light and the strange man. 

L shot them a look of disbelief that slowly morphed into a mocking grin."if I did do you think I'd tell you?" 

"Stop this, both of you!" Souichiro intervened. "Light, what is the meaning of this?!" 

"Dad, I've never had an enemy before, not really, and yet "Ryuuzaki"" Light spat the alias, "seems quite antagonistic towards me for some reason. So I'll ask again, did you plant the bomb in my desk?" 

"No," was the candy-addict's monosyllabic answer. L returned his attention to his bag of candy, leaving Souichiro to elaborate and smooth things over with his son. 

"No Light. In fact, Ryuuzaki played a major role in saving you and Ryuk from the blast." 

Light winced. Had he really misjudged the other so completely? "I'm sorry..." he began. 

L waved him off. "Think nothing of it, Light-kun. I know I don't. Honestly it keeps me up at night to think it's morally and socially expected of me to help save even people like you." 

Well, back to square one. And perhaps he hadn't misjudged him too harshly after all—Ryuuzaki may have had a hand in saving his life but that didn't make him any less of a dick. 

Light just shook his head. "Just what is his problem..." 

"He thinks your Kira." Ryuk blurted out and L suddenly regretted having taken his interrogation in that direction. L had wanted that accusation to come off as far more dramatic. 

Light laughed, a loud, throaty, and _honestly amused_ laugh. 

"Do I really look like a mass murderer to you, Ryuuzaki?" 

L frowned as he regarded Light Yagami—all young and earnest and sparkling, wide-eyed honesty and righteous anger not a hint of the deceptive creature—the _lying monster_ —that L knew him to be. Light sighed when it became obvious L wasn’t going to be moved by his honest appeal and looked away. L frowned as Light broke their staring contest so that he might resume cuddling into the Yakuza’s side—just when Light’s little hissy fit was getting him weirdly tingly and excited. L shook his head. Obviously Light was trying to seduce him again with his heated looks and impassioned arguments. And how _dare_ he look so innocent and oblivious? What the hell was he playing at? No, L sternly reminded himself, Light was a _suspect_ —he would not be ensnared. 

"Yes," L said bluntly in answer to Light's clearly rhetorical question. 

Light lunged, no doubt intending to give the trolling detective a well-deserved punch in the face but Ryuk, ever-interfering, held him back and L found himself oddly disappointed.

Light growled, near incomprehensible with rage. 

"I know, Light, believe me I do, but if we murder him that won't exactly help your case." 

Light immediately composed himself. "Your right," he allowed. "Ryuuzaki," (Light said the name through gritted teeth) "isn't the problem. We shouldn't fight amongst ourselves." 

Ryuk was surprised when Souichiro even gave him a respectful nod for successfully diffusing the situation—he couldn't believe it—Papa Yagami might actually be warming up to him... 

“But I’m afraid Ryuuzaki does have a point," Light continued, blissfully ignorant of the byplay going on between his boyfriend and his father. "It’s unlikely this was Yakuza because, well… who would be left to target you?” 

Ryuk frowned and thought about it for a moment. “I suppose a few street soldiers maybe,” Ryuk thought aloud, thinking again of the asshole card players, “but I got the impression that most of them were pretty much indifferent to my existence.” 

“They still might take offense if they thought you were betraying them to the cops,” Souichiro gently reminded him. 

“What about you, Light-kun?" L prodded, "Do you have any enemies?” 

Light frowned. "Other than you?" 

_"Light..."_ came his father's warning tone. 

L, who was an expert at reading body language and nuances of expression, noted it was the same tone used to admonish little children before getting a spanking. 

L wondered if Souichiro would spank his son. 

L wondered if he could watch... 

“Not that I’m aware of…" Light insisted, answering L's question. "Well, there’s always someone who doesn’t like it that I’m always on top of the class all the time…” L nodded in understanding but Souichiro frowned and looked like he was about to say something. “No dad, I don’t try to rub their faces in it and I make a point to be nice to everyone,” Light insisted, heading off an oft-heard childhood lecture. Souichiro appeared satisfied but now it was L’s turn to frown. 

What would it be like, being forced to be nice and courteous to all the people he pissed off? L didn’t think he could keep his sanity if he was forced to play nice with the likes of Beyond Birthday. Well, was it any wonder that Light turned out the way he did? L shook his head again. He was _not_ trying to justify Kira’s actions. 

No, this was just profiling his suspect. Well, L supposed that this little glimpse into his suspect’s childhood explained the perfect act, the overly polite attitude, the utterly fake smiles—and it might just be a non-serial killer explanation. 

No, that wouldn’t do at all. 

“I suppose there’s the fact that you’re a police family…” Ryuk thought aloud, squeezing Light’s hand harder and Souichiro narrowed his eyes. 

“Just what do you mean by that?” 

“Well, I thought it was obvious? What with the current climate and Kira and all. I mean if its public knowledge that you are opposed to Kira then those Kira-supporting psychos might target you or your family.” 

L noticeably trembled on his perch on the doctor’s stool. Why the hell didn’t _he_ think of that? 

L dramatically whipped out his cell phone from his jeans pocket. 

“Mr. Aihara, please take your family into protective custody immediately.” 

“Dad, what about mom and Sayu?" 

“They’re already staying at a hotel since the fire.” 

_“Thank goodness!”_ The relief on Light’s face was palpable and definitely no act. 

“Once Light-kun and Mr. Kingu are released from the hospital I’d like to place them both in witness protection.” 

“I agree,” Souichiro said at once. 

L was puzzled when neither Light nor Ryuk attempted to protest what would in fact be their upcoming house arrest and if anything they both looked _relieved._

L chewed on his thumbnail. Could he _really_ be wrong about Light?


	10. Chapter 10

“You’re letting us have our own apartment?!” 

Light could hardly believe it. He had never expected this level of… _acceptance_ regarding his relationship with Ryuk, especially by his father. Light paused briefly to discreetly brush a bit of dumb emotion from his eye. 

“Thanks, dad.”

Souichiro did his best not to look guilty as his son hugged him. 

“It’s for the best,” Ryuuzaki asserted while gulping down more candies. Light idly wondered where he kept getting all this food before he decided he really didn’t care. “If either of you are the target it’s doubtful that this terrorist would discriminate between you and your family—as seen with the fire at your house.” 

Light winced “I understand.”

“Oh, wow! Look at this place! _Light-o!_ Look at this!” Ryuk gushed, bouncing lightly on the sleek leather couch in front of the state of the art entertainment system. “This is amazing! Your dad is the best dad ever!” Ryuk declared, remembering at the last moment to bow, ever-so-politely, just as Light had schooled him to do when addressing his father—apparently this was somehow inherently more polite than attempting an awkward handshake, or, _worse,_ trying to hug him. Ryuk had practiced it too in front of the mirror in the hospital bathroom—he hadn’t wanted to embarrass himself or Light in front of Light’s father which, he had discovered, was all too easy to do. Ryuk found that once he got over his initial shyness upon meeting a new person… he was a rather touchy-feely person—even when it was inappropriate to do so. Light had had to talk him out of trouble a couple of times already. So Ryuk now mostly limited himself to touching Light who mostly had no objections. (Though he would on occasion get annoyed with Ryuk hugging him at which point, Ryuk was amused to note, Light would resemble a grumpy puppy.) 

Ryuk supposed he must not have mangled it too badly because just before Mr. Yagami left, while Light was occupied with unpacking, Mr. Yagami had some words for him and him alone: “Please take care of my son.” It was soft-spoken but Ryuk knew it for an order. Ryuk just stared at the closed door in shock. He found that Mr. Yagami, much like Light, would sometimes broach uncomfortable subjects politely… _obliquely,_ but Ryuk was pretty sure that was Yagami-speak for giving them his blessing. 

***

Light struggled with yet another box, almost regretting that he had banished Ryuk to the shower first after spending the day unloading boxes and furniture and clothes and stuff that they had ordered to begin replacing things lost in the fire. Also Ryuk had had next to nothing to his name to begin with and would have needed a new wardrobe anyway. Light found it fortuitous that his father’s friend, Ryuuzaki, had known a company that could help them replace everything for cheap and even helped them a bit with the setup—allowing Souichiro, Light, and Ryuk to take a lunch break while they professionally set up some of the larger arrangements of furniture. Light quite liked Mr. Aiber—he was very polite and charming for a foreigner and made sure everything was set up quickly and efficiently. 

Light grunted as he pulled too hard and his hand slipped. The box fell open all over the floor. 

“What the _hell?!_ ”

A studded leather collar, pink fuzzy padded handcuffs, fluffy brown cat ears, a long plastic… 

_Oh._

_Sex toys._

Light felt his face heating up at some of the items he picked up. 

The brunet just shook his head. _Who bought this shit?!_

Of course he hadn’t expected to get an answer... 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Light muttered when he saw the card that came with it. 

At first he had thought Ryuk might have had something to do with it except that he knew Ryuk didn’t have any money at the moment and Light knew his father had to authorize any of their major purchases. His next thought that it might have been Ryuuzaki’s doing—well, the man looked like a perv and acted like a perv so Light thought it was safest to assume that the man was a perv. 

The mystery had resolved itself when Light saw that the box came with a signed card—well, it was signed with the names of a lot of people he didn’t know but… _Matsuda?!_ Wasn’t he one of his father’s coworkers? Light remembered his father had him over for dinner once—well, once before their house was destroyed… 

That meant that all of his father’s coworkers had pitched in to buy him that… stuff. 

Light sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was hardly a secret anymore—he was pretty sure the _world_ knew about him and Ryuk by now. He supposed that Matsuda and the others were, awkwardly, trying to say they were okay with it. But still, it was mind-boggling to comprehend that these were _officers of the law_ sending him, technically still a minor even if he was of age* and _their boss’s son_ such items and apparently not one of them had stopped to think that this just might be inappropriate. 

_No wonder they haven’t caught Kira yet,_ Light thought uncharitably. 

He just shook his head again at the stupidity. If he was to report them they’d all be in big trouble—they could even lose their jobs. 

“Matsuda… _you idiot._ ”

Oh well, Light supposed that was all just future blackmail material. 

Light just shook his head again in disbelief. He’d expected a creep like Ryuuzaki to pull something like this but _Mastuda?!_ He’d seemed so… _innocent!_ Perhaps Ryuuzaki had framed him? That _did_ seem likely, given what a shady character the strange consultant was. Damn, that meant he _couldn’t_ blackmail Matsuda—it wouldn’t be right on the off-chance that he’d been set up. 

But then, what if it _was_ from Ryuuzaki? Why send it in the first place? Well, Light knew the man had it out for him—he thought he was Kira of all things! Did he regularly send such paraphernalia to his suspects in an ongoing investigation? Was he like one of those crazy chicks who sent love letters to serial killers? A hybristophiliac? Or was this some sort of power play? 

No… no… It was a _dare._ Whoever sent this—they had assumed he would be too uptight and embarrassed to actually use it. _Like hell he wouldn’t! He’d show them!_ Light smirked to himself as he swiftly stripped off his clothes—he was sure he’d have lots of fun with this... 

***

Ryuk toweled himself as he emerged from that bathroom, already redressed in a simple black tank top and blue jeans. 

“Woah!”

“Uh… Hi,” Light said from the bed, suddenly shy. 

“This _is_ a surprise…” Ryuk gaped at Light who had gotten naked but for the studded collar, nipple clamps, and handcuffs and chained himself to the bed. Ryuk whistled as he eyed him up. “That’s one hell of a house a warming present." 

Light blushed but said nothing. 

“For me?”

“No… for my other five boyfriends.”

Ryuk couldn’t help it—he let out a jealous growl. 

Light chuckled softly, flashing the larger man a wicked smirk. “Of _course_ for you, you idiot!” 

“Don’t scare me like that, Light-o!” Ryuk huffed as he sat down next to Light, the bed dipping to support his weight. However somehow in that simple motion he had managed to move wrong, and Ryuk let out a sudden hiss of pain. 

“Your back is still bothering you, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” the ex-Shinigami nodded apologetically. 

“ _Damn!_ I should have thought of that! I’m so sorry.” 

“I appreciate this, Light, really I do, but I’m not sure if I… I mean, any other time…” 

“It’s okay. You shouldn’t strain yourself. I mean I just wanted to surprise you..” 

“I can pretend to be surprised later.” 

“Okay. Let me just… _Oh no..._ ” 

“What is it?” 

“Er… I kind of just… lost the key,” Light confessed, cheeks burning, and he tried to hide behind the curtain of his bangs. 

Ryuk tried, and failed, to stifle a giggle. 

“It isn’t funny!” Light snapped. 

“I don’t know Light, I think it’s a little funny…” 

Light glared a murderous glare.

“Just a little bit,” Ryuk amended. 

Light’s murderous glare intensified. 

Ryuk put his palms up in surrender. “Alright it isn’t funny. Do you happen to know where the key might be?” 

The brunet inclined his head towards the gap between the mattress and the wall. Light felt his heart speed up as Ryuk casually leaned over him to reach where the key had fallen. 

“Got it!” Ryuk announced and Light breathed a sigh of relief—it would be beyond embarrassing to call a locksmith or something. “Do you want me to unlock it or…”

“You shouldn’t strain yourself, Ryuk.” 

“Hey! Just because I’m having difficulties doesn’t mean I can’t take care of you! I could give you a hand if you want. That wouldn’t be too taxing…” 

Light shook his head. These recent epic levels of embarrassment had kind of just kind of… killed the mood. It was better not to force it.

“It’s your turn for a shower and I’ll start dinner… is that apple pork chop freezer thing okay?”

“Yeah... er, that’s fine.

"Hey Light you know… maybe this evening… if you’re up for it… I can pretend to be surprised.”

Light just rolled his eyes. “I sincerely doubt your back will be magically healed by then.”

“Again, it’s not just about me and there are other ways to get off you know. Like… er… I read about… have you ever heard of something called rimming?” 

Light blushed a vibrant shade of red. “You’d…. you’d _really_ do that?” 

“Would you like me to do that?” 

“I… I don’t know. I mean it just sounds weird and it can’t be very pleasant for you.”

“Whatever makes you happy, Light-o...” 

Light fidgeted awkwardly while Ryuk, surely unnecessarily, blew hot breath on his ear as he undid the handcuffs.“Er… maybe we could, uh… try that? Later?” 

“Your wish is my command,” Ryuk began only to be interrupted by the loud growling of Light’s gut.

It wasn’t _that_ surprising—they’d been working hard moving boxes and things all day. Souichiro had taken them both out for the unusual (for them) fast, unhealthy lunch of burgers but that had been several hours ago. Ryuk barely refrained from rolling his eyes—Light didn’t need to look so embarrassed about it—it just proved that he was human. 

Ryuk laughed. “I’ll make dinner.” 

“And I’ll take a shower… wait… you do know how to use the microwave, don’t you?” 

“I get the general idea, yeah.” 

“Good, because I don’t think dad will be too happy if we burn down another home.” 

***

L watched the monitors in rapt fascination as Light made an obvious frustrated noise when Ryuk broke off their fierce kiss to push him down onto the bed. 

The detective himself gasped when he watched how Light allowed himself to be chained to the headboard. _That_ still boggled the mind—he expected Light to get all cute and embarrassed about it! He hadn't expected that his Kira suspect might actually _use_ them. And not only use them but use them to entertain his current boyfriend! It burned, knowing that he had inadvertently helped Light and his nobody-rival's sex-life. L felt an ugly stab of jealousy as he watched how Ryuk knelt between the younger man’s long, limber legs. 

Though he was prepared for it, Light still let out a surprised cry as his boyfriend’s devilish tongue dipped obscenely inside of him, making the younger man squirm. 

_“Aaaaagh! Yes! YES! Right there! Oh God!”_

L was so focused on watching the monitors he didn’t hear the door opening behind him. He’d already learned to tune out Watari’s disappointed sighs so he almost missed it when Souichiro began speaking to him. 

At least this time he hadn’t caught him with his hand down his pants.

Souichiro tiredly cleaned his glasses. They had put many Kira sympathizers in custody over the past week. One group who favored bombings had even claimed responsibility for the attack with a sneer of “that’s what you get for going against Kira. I hope you all die.” It seemed a rather open and shut case, yet L wasn’t quite ready to believe it. He was still, unfortunately, quite... _fixated_ on his son. 

“Any news?” Souichiro prompted. 

“All they do is sex and homework,” L pouted distractedly. Not that L particularly minded the show but he would have preferred to have found evidence that Light was Kira—than he would have the excuse he needed to keep Light close to him forever and always.

“He’s eating enough, isn’t he?” Souichiro asked gruffly, pointedly refusing to look at the monitors. 

“Well… that too.”

“So… just when are you going to stop watching my son?” Souichiriro asked while tactically readjusting his scary shiny glasses. He knew L insisted on watching everything, repeatedly, and from multiple angles even though Light had been all but cleared as a suspect. Souichiro stoically tuned out the moaning being picked up by the speakers and tried to carry on as normal, as if he hadn’t just been scarred for life.

L promptly popped a handful of gummy candies into his mouth, stalling for time. 

“Ryuuzaki… It’s been a week. Do you _really_ have to monitor their every move?” 

They both knew that he didn’t—that this was a blatant abuse of power. Of course L claimed it was for “Light and what-his-face-boyfriend’s safety” but they both knew that was a bald-faced lie. The cameras really were superfluous and a major invasion of privacy—especially since they already had police officers acting as bodyguards and tailing them at all hours of the day and night. 

“Did you know Light enjoys bondage and rough sex? Oh, and bottoming too…” L began conversationally and was met by Souichiro’s murderous glare. It seemed to _just_ dawn on L exactly who he was talking to. The eccentric detective gulped as he suddenly felt the dangerous aura that felt suspiciously like killing intent from his suspect’s father behind him—Souichiro’s face unreadable yet somehow terrifying behind the ominous glare of his glasses. L swallowed again and huddled in on himself as if he’d been kicked—he was pushing his luck, he knew. 

“I will remove the cameras.” 

“Thank you,” came Souichiro’s strained reply. “Now that you’ve stopped fixating on my son perhaps you might want to look at these other possible leads we might follow…” 

“What other leads?” 

Souichiro slammed a pile of papers half as tall as he was onto L’s desk. 

L barely resisted groaning out loud. He didn’t want to pursue a new suspect—none of these other suspects were anywhere near as hot as Light!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Light is 18 when this story takes place so he both of age and a minor: in Japan the age of majority is 20 but, nationally, the age of consent is 13 though many prefectures override that outdated law, raising it to 18. 
> 
> For more information you might consult the book _Tokyo Vice_ for the sad history of post-war poverty, child prostitution, and crooked politicians.


	11. Chapter 11

They soon realized it wasn’t exactly “witness protection.” 

Light and Ryuk quickly discovered that their apartment complex was under armed guard and 24-hour surveillance and while they were still allowed to attend classes, or in Ryuk’s case arrange to take placement tests, it was always under the watchful eyes of several shady looking figures in trenchcoats. Light wasn’t sure how any of that was supposed to make them less conspicuous. He had had the less charitable thought that maybe the police were just using them as bait to draw out the bomber but he’d quickly dismissed it—his father would never do that. 

Unbeknownst to them L continued to monitor Light, allegedly for his own safety, but at least he had removed the most invasive cameras in the bedroom and the bathroom on Souichiro’s behest (at least the ones Souichiro knew about).

***

Light and Ryuk also both managed to land part-time jobs at the school bookstore to help cover the bills—everything had to be replaced from the fire and while the Yagamis were pretty well off they still had some big bills coming—even on a police chief’s salary and Light wanted to help out where he could. 

Light had a nice sum of spending money from one time he got lucky playing the stock market when he was twelve but he knew that wouldn’t last at the rate he were spending it. Both Light and his parents had been hoping he’d use that money to see him through college—thus his getting a part-time job. Light’s parents were worried about it cutting into his study time but really, taking a part-time job was no big deal—going to Touhou and getting his degree was just a formality that he had to have on his resume—Light already knew the subject matter like the back of his hand. His parents had also been resistant to taking his money at first but then the big bills started coming in and Light had been buying stuff for them with it anyway—Light wanted to help out with his parents and sister. Because, despite repeated assurances from practically everyone that it wasn’t his fault, Light still felt responsible for the house fire and wanted to help out and replace what could be replaced. There was also the hospital bills, Ryuk’s tuition once he tested his way into college, and also the matter of buying more clothes and personal items and basic necessities for Ryuk—after being kicked out by his father, Ryuk had nothing to his name and he wouldn’t be able to collect on the Kingu Fortune even if he hadn’t been disowned because the government seized it immediately seeing as it was all stolen blood money anyway. 

***

They both still had nightmares after the bombing but they affected Light the worst. Sometimes they were obviously about the fire but others… those others were the worst. Those couldn’t be explained by the fire. Light was genuinely terrified of the pathways his mind could take—his subconscious was a monstrous place filled with weird, murderous power fantasies which he took care not to examine in too great of detail. These dreams though—they made him long for the good old mundane nightmares of spiders or of falling or of going to class naked. 

Despite his unrest, Ryuk never complained once. His love was always there to hold him and help calm him when Light woke up screaming. The day following a particularly bad night Ryuk hung a dreamcatcher, purchased at the college shop, over their bed to help keep the nightmares away. That night as Light drifted off to sleep in his boyfriend’s arms he could have sworn he heard Ryuk rumble in his ear. _“Hey, you leave him alone. Leave him alone or I’ll kick your ass. Got it?”_

The nightmares subsided after that.

***

Ryuk took Souichiro’s request that he take care of Light very seriously. While he was well aware he was a big man and he could probably handle any punk stupid enough to come at them he didn’t want to get thrown in jail on assault charges or killed by Kira—that wouldn’t do anyone any good. He didn’t like the idea of leaving Light alone, unprotected, when apparently there were terrorists out for his blood. That’s why he had made it a point to sign up for Aikido classes. He even managed to drag Light along. Light ended up taking the class as well when he found the style to be very appealing—unlike other styles it wasn’t about brutality or even fighting but _strategy_ and physics—he was hooked when the first lesson taught how to use an opponent’s own attacks against them to put them on the ground. Ryuk could say unashamed that Light was better at it than he was—the younger man took to it like a fish to water.

***

Sachiko had expressed concern about Light living all alone. He hadn’t even called them or anything, considering the N.P.A.’s (his father’s) orders to have minimal contact with them. It was about a month after the fire that Souichiro let slip that Light was living with his boyfriend. 

Of course Sachiko wanted to meet him.

Of course, one way or another, Sachiko would get what she wanted... 

Sachiko would have liked to have had her son and his boyfriend over for dinner but Souichiro, surprisingly put his foot down. 

_“Absolutely not!”_

And Light had agreed.

Apparently there were security concerns. Neither Light nor Ryuk had yet been to the new Yagami home in case they were being targeted by terrorists or other hostile forces for neither wanted to put the family in unnecessary danger. Light had agreed to the restrictions and saw the logic behind them.

Sachiko and Sayu thought they were being ridiculous and paranoid. For one thing, from the sound of things they already had the terrorists in custody and in any case if the Yagami family were really the targets of Kira supporters they would be targeted regardless of whether Light visited them or not. 

All parties were against her going over to Light’s apartment either for some reason and Sachiko feared it resembled a bachelor pad. Of course she knew Light was very tidy but who knew what his boyfriend was like?

They finally agreed on a restaurant as neutral ground. Sachiko was stunned—Souichiro’s work colleague had reserved the entire restaurant for the evening as a gift to them. But even so… everyone was being so incredibly paranoid—sending them out in cars with tinted windows and armed guards—as if _that_ wasn’t the least bit conspicuous. Sachiko shook her head—she found the whole thing beyond ridiculous. 

***

“Light-o! Your hair is fine! Come on! Before we’re late!” 

“I’m never late,” the younger man retorted. 

Ryuk often teased him about the amount of time he’d spent in front of a mirror but this time he had a legitimate excuse—he was trying to decide between the black suit, the gunmetal grey suit, and the blue suit. In the end Light picked the black suit to match Ryuk—even if he worried it looked too dark. Light realized that his father’s foreign friend must think they were going to a funeral. Light actually preferred lighter colors like beige… or pink, even though pink carried certain _connotations_ thanks to Western influences. 

Light stepped out of the bathroom to find his boyfriend affecting a bored and exasperated pose, his hands tucked in his pockets and leaning impatiently against the wall.

Even so, Light couldn’t help but stare. 

Ryuk was looking smart—he had neatly gelled his hair up into tasteful spikes and wore the black silk shirt and leather pants Light had got him and topped it off with a spiked leather jacket and a silver chain belt he had ordered from a specialty store online. 

And Ryuk’s theatrics and wall-leaning posture was rebellious and sexy in a way that a year ago Light would have sworn he would never find attractive. 

“Sometime this century?”

Light rolled his eyes. “Yes, Ryuk. We’re going now.” 

“Good! Because I’m starving! Do you think they’ll have apples?” 

“There are more foods than just apples, Ryuk. Remember the food pyramid that I showed you?”

“Yeah… But apples are healthy!” 

Yes. Yes they are. But it’s not good to take things to extremes,” Light explained. “The human body requires more nutrients than those present in apples. If you only eat apples you’ll die.”

“But if that’s the case then how come Emo Frogboy can shove nothing but candy in his mouth and _not_ die?” 

Light opened his mouth to speak and then promptly closed it again, a perplexed look on his face 

“Honestly? I have no idea.” 

Ryuk stared at the genius in shock. 

“You mean you’re not omniscient?” 

“Don’t. Say. _Anything._ ” Light growled. 

Ryuk held up his hands in a placating manner. “Hey, it’s a first, I’m sure.” 

Light idly rubbed his chin in thought “Given how tired and sickly he looks all the time it’s clearly taking its toll on him. If he doesn’t change his eating habits he’ll probably die soon,” Light reasoned. 

“Oh. Do you think we ought warn him? You know, that he’s gonna die? I mean he’s annoying and all but…”

Light shrugged. “We can try but I suspect he knows his eating habits are unhealthy—he just doesn’t care.”

“You know I don’t really care either…” 

“Nevertheless, I want you to eat a balanced diet because I don’t want you dying anytime soon.” 

"But _Light-o!_ "

“You do realize you can’t play with me if you’re dead?” 

Ryuk huffed. “Let me see that food pyramid again.” 

“Good boy,” Light smirked, reaching up to pat the taller man on the head. 

_“Brat!_ “Oi! You messed up my hair!” Ryuk whined as Light laughed. 

“Who’s the vain one now?!”

“If we’re late it’s your fault!” Ryuk hollered as he ran back into the bathroom to fix his spikes. 

“Shit,” was Light’s ever-so-eloquent reply. 

***

Outside their apartment Light and Ryuk were picked up by a limo with men in black type agents behind the wheel which spent several tense, drama-filled minutes driving in circles. They were made to change limos no less than three times. Light barely kept his poise, sorely wanting to let his exasperation at the whole thing be known. Ryuk, however, had no such qualms against commenting on the ridiculousness of it all, garnering what Light assumed to be several dirty looks behind black tinted sunglasses. 

After driving in circles around the city three more times the driver finally let them off at some intermediate drop off point to meet his family and exchange warm greetings before they were made to change limos yet again.

Light had noted that his father wore a slightly less formal white dress shirt and grey slacks as opposed to the dark brown tailored suit he typically wore to work marking that he was not here in his capacity as the Chief of Police. His mother wore a tasteful pink dress sans apron that Light usually saw her in. The odd consultant that had taken to accompanying his father whenever Light saw him, apparently even to “family gatherings,” hadn’t changed—he still had the same messy hair, bad posture, looked vaguely like he was dying, and wore the same white sweater and baggy jeans he always appeared in. Light wondered if he ever changed his clothes or if he just had a big closet full of nothing but white sweaters and baggy jeans. He continued to casually stuff his face with candy even as they waited to go to dinner. Light wondered why he was here. Ever since the hospital they’d seemed joined at the hip and now evidently he’d been invited to a Yagami family gathering… Maybe his father adopted him? Or maybe he’d just invited himself—overall the slovenly man didn’t seem big on manners. 

Light noticed that Sayu had let her hair down and was wearing a black spaghetti strap dress which both Yagami men decided was either too short or she was too young to be wearing it but she had somehow got them both to drop the matter with an impressive display of emotional blackmail. Light didn’t know _what_ she had on their dad but Light didn’t want it to become common knowledge that he once had a crush on teen idol Hideki Ryuuga. 

Light got into another limo. He still could hardly believe that the police sent limos for this. Wouldn’t that money be better spent on like body armor for officers or something? Not only a limo but… several. His parents would be arriving in another limo, and apparently Ryuuzaki rated a limo of his own. Then there were several more driving around as decoys. It seemed someone in the NPA, or working with them, was extremely paranoid. 

When Sayu decided to join them when they changed cars yet _again_ Light had ended up, magnanimously, taking the middle seat in between Ryuk and Sayu, letting them each have a window seat—it wasn’t worth the argument. Also he didn’t want to know what evil they would cook up if he sat them together. Light glanced over at his little sister again, aghast. Sayu was currently smirking rather evilly while she began counting what had once been Light’s money in front of him—not only had she made him leave her alone about the dress but she had somehow conned him into buying her silence as well. Dammit! How had he never noticed that his little sister was an evil mastermind? 

***

When they finally reached their destination it took all of Light's tremendous acting talents not to gape like a gormless idiot. It was a restaurant fit for a _God_ —their usual clientele were billionaires and movie stars and Light felt very out of place here. Ahead of the party the waiter clasped one of the ornate brass handle and pulled open the heavy oak doors to reveal a dark and dramatic candlelit room, austere and almost sinister with its blood red carpets and furnishings of dark polished oak. 

“Are we going to see Dracula?” Ryuk remarked upon seeing the décor. 

Ryuuzaki helpfully informed them all that “Food tastes better in the dark, apparently.” 

Still, after everything that had happened recently, Light was a bit suspicious about the choice of venue—it would be an ideal place to poison someone. He glanced at the strange consultant warily—apparently this restaurant had been his idea. Light thought he was being discreet, only looking out of the corner of his eye, and yet the other man still seemed to sense his stare. 

“Problem, Light-kun?” the consultant asked, putting one of his long, pale, spidery fingers up to his grinning lips. 

Light frowned slightly before opting to ignore the weirdo entirely. The young man firmly clasped Ryuk’s hand and pulled the larger man with him, deeper into the restaurant. 

“That man is so… _ridiculous!_ ” L heard the big man’s audible “whisper” and Light’s _giggling_ in response and the detective had half a mind to go over there and kick them both upside the head. However he dared not follow through on that impulse with Light’s father there. 

L never claimed not to be childish and in this moment he was furious with Light for not giving him what he wanted—be that a Kira confession or an agreement to go out with him. (In L’s mind the two concepts were equivalent because in both cases he got to keep Light.) 

***

Light followed his parents and pulled Ryuk through along behind him as he made his way through the creepy, overly long entry hall covered with mirrors. Seriously, what was with the mirrors? Was this to check to make sure they weren’t vampires or something? While Ryuk may tease him about the amount of time he spent in front of a mirror Light really wasn’t _that_ enamored by it. Light really wasn’t that fond of his reflection. (He wasn’t even that fond with himself though he might give that impression to the world at large—it’s just he needed to see it in order to look perfect because that’s what he needed to be.) Especially after the bombing, he tried to avoid mirrors—not because his hair got a little seared or anything superficially vain like that. He wanted to avoid seeing that _guilty,_ haunted look in his eyes. 

Light suppressed a shudder as they made their way through the hall of mirrors—it was like a creepy funhouse. Honestly, he was half-expecting some sinister reflection to pop up at him and laugh at him with a sinister grin and demonic red eyes.

Light briefly felt a sting of irritation when Ryuk abruptly stopped behind him but he quickly came to understand the source of Ryuk’s distraction once his eyes adjusted to the darkened room... 

“Oh, wow!” Ryuk exclaimed. 

Light couldn’t have put it much better himself. It was even more impressive than the opening wait room. There was just so much… _stuff!_

The room was so heavily decorated that just looking at it nearly sent Light into information overload, making him feel strange and off-balance. Light wondered if that’s why they chose it—if this “pleasant family outing” was to be Interrogation Part Three Hundred. Ryuk seemed to sense his distress and put a steadying hand on his shoulder—that seemed to help somehow, at least enough that he didn’t make a spectacle of himself. Light smiled slightly up at his companion in thanks to let him know such contact was welcome but otherwise clamped down on his emotions, still worried he would cause a scene. 

There was just so much to take in!

Light was a genius. This was well-known by all who met him though few realized the implications. It meant his brain worked differently and it was constantly absorbing details others would miss. So for the rest of the Yagami family a room filled to the brim with interesting antiques and knickknacks was for Light turning into an eldritch nightmare as his mind attempted to catalogue what he was seeing: 

_Brass statuette, one of a kind, made in 1705-Red silk curtains with Chinese dragons -White tent… or is that a teepee?-mermaid figurehead off a Portuguese ship -is that a train car?-What’s **that** doing here?-Vintage Italian rug, abstract floral patterns—Victorian Era upholstery…_

“First time here?” his father’s “friend” abruptly asked with what was dangerously approaching sympathy.

 _Obviously._ Light nodded, not trusting himself to speak as he was still being overloaded, still struggled to take in the room in its entirety. 

“I know it’s a lot to take in,” the consultant murmured. “You get used to it,” he assured.

Light hoped so. He was embarrassed—he’d never had this problem before—at least nothing that he could recall. Okay, maybe something similar happened that one time he was playing at the arcade when he was five but he’d just thought that was pretty normal—people get seizures and stuff from games all the time, right? That was just fine, an occupational hazard—he’d had fun and it had only lasted a moment so he saw no reason to worry anyone. Maybe because he’d always been kept in such… calm environments? His home, his school—four walls, bland and boring, and on his more miserable days he’d mused that they might as well have been a prison cell. 

Light forcefully put such thoughts out of his mind. He narrowed his eyes to slits (mostly closing them and blocking out most everything) affected a look of boredom, and let Ryuk lead him to his seat. He opened his eyes again when he only had to look at Ryuk, his family, his father’s partner, and the much smaller sampling of _things_ in their own little alcove—candelabras and lacy placemats and all-too-fine of china. Light was both impressed and repulsed by the opulence. He felt like he didn’t deserve to be here. There were starving people in the world! Light stared, aghast as the peculiar consultant ordered them all _kobe beef._ Why here? He was sure they could have gone out for burgers and everyone would have been happy. Well Ryuk and Sayu would be for certain (and Light himself wouldn’t mind the occasional French fry).

L chewed on his thumb as he regarded the object of his fixation. He had brought Light here in the hopes of putting him off balance but he hadn’t expected it to work so well. Sure, it was a common practice at Wammy’s to bring students to a place like this to produce such a reaction and then to train them to ignore such excess stimuli but L hadn’t expected _Light_ to have such a reaction. L found that his successors tended to have such problems but typically overcame it quickly enough—having either already developed defense mechanisms or just not being bothered by overload… In fact Light’s reaction was near identical to _his own_ when he had been a Wammy’s initiate… or that of sweet little Near’s.

L wondered if anyone ever bothered to give his fellow genius an I.Q. test or, for that matter, test him for other neurological issues. It was obvious to L that Light was just as neurodivergent as they were. Had they found him earlier he easily could have been one of them.

L chewed on his fingernails (much to Sayu’s obvious disgust but L pretended to be oblivious; seeing as he did not care in the least what she thought of him). What if, by some miracle, Light wasn’t Kira? There was a chance he was wrong, of course—a very slim chance but still a chance. That and the Chief were the only reason L hadn’t just absconded with Light already—if Light _was_ Kira he could justify it as only doing his duty as L but if he _wasn’t_ Kira then it would be kidnapping and thus illegal. Try as he might, L couldn’t _quite_ justify acting out his fantasy of keeping a Light-Who-Might-Not-Be-Kira in his basement, in chains (of course if he was Kira, L wouldn’t have had any such compunctions.) L frowned as Light ignored him entirely, playfully feeding his brutish companion a sushi roll and L _sorely_ wanted Light to be Kira.


	12. Chapter 12

As they waited for the main course to arrive (Light still couldn’t quite believe that Ryuuzaki just ordered _kobe beef_ for everyone and wondered just how they planned to split the bill), Ryuuzaki idly began quizzing Light on the obscure knickknacks and things on and around their table. Light got most of them right, at least according to the odd consultant, much to the amazement of Ryuk and the Yagamis. Ryuk occasionally answered a few as well—though he had no idea _how_ he knew, it seemed he was an expert on obscure history trivia. And then even Sayu and Sachiko knew some interesting trivia about ancient dolls. 

However, for all his apparent ribbings L couldn’t help but be a bit sympathetic to his fellow genius’s earlier brain freeze—there was a reason L preferred to operate in plain, featureless rooms surrounded by sweets to achieve optimum performance. 

“I spy with my little eye…”

“Sayu! Don’t start.”

“But, Light, _I’m bored!_ ” 

“I’ll play.” Ryuk offered, effectively drawing Light into the game as well, much to the “ex-Yakuza’s” relief. 

Ryuk couldn’t help but be a bit annoyed by that creep that kept following them around and staring at his boyfriend—let alone accusing said boyfriend of mass murder. Said creep had elected to sit right next to Mr. Yagami, and right across from them. He just kept staring at them, especially Light. 

“Very good, Kira,” Ryuuzaki childishly “complicated” when Light actually managed to beat him at I Spy. Probably because Light wasn’t just focused on one fixed point as the consultant was. The man had never looked away, or even blinked as far as Ryuk could tell, since they had first sat down. 

Ryuk felt his hackles rise. “Stop calling him that! How would you like it if I started calling you Hitler?”

“Boys! Leave that nasty Kira business at work. And no holocaust references at the dinner table,” Sachiko said sternly. 

“So, Light. Er…” Souichiro tried to hide his discomfort before soldiering on. “Is everything okay with your… er, boyfriend?”

Light managed to catch and hold his awkward stare before giving him an earnest: “Yeah dad, things are great.” 

“I really don’t see what all the fuss is about, dear. It really should come as no surprise after his crush on Hideki Ryuuga when he was fourteen,” Sachiko remarked casually as she trimmed off a piece of a rice ball with a scissoring motion of her chopsticks. 

Light choked on his tea. 

“ _WHAT?!_ Are you kidding me? I just spent 24000 Yen to buy her silence!” Light snapped indignantly. 

Across the table a certain black spiked mullet shook when the bizarre squatting consultant tried, and failed, to cover his giggles. 

Sachiko gave her son a pitying look. “Everyone knew that, dear.”

“And now I can buy those concert tickets! Thanks, big brother!” Sayu whooped beside her. 

Ryuk laughed and high-fived Sayu across the table. 

“Ryuk, you traitor!”

“You should have known, Light. I was never on your side,” Ryuk teased and Light subjected him to an impressive sulk. “Ah, c’mon, kid. You have to admit—it was masterfully done.” Ryuk said appeasingly as the brunet continued to pout. 

“How?” Light finally asked after several long minutes and everyone had resumed eating. 

“How _what?_ ” Ryuuzaki asked sharply. 

“How did everyone know that I was…?” 

“Kira?” Ryuuzaki asked innocently while Ryuk and Souichiro pinned him with matching glares. 

_“Gay!”_ Light snapped loudly. Only afterwards did he seem to realize he had shouted it and immediately flushed with embarrassment. 

Sayu counted off on her fingers. “The CDs, the figurines, the poster, _the body pillow…_ ” 

Light winced—he’d actually managed to repress those memories along with most of the shit from his junior high years— he just _vaguely_ remembered chess club, his absurdly handsome math teacher, something about a corset, and that one time he thought it was a good idea to use powdered drink mix to dye his hair a vibrant shade of cherry red. It was a very dark time in his life.

Ryuk put a comforting arm around Light’s shoulders and pulled him up against his side in a well-meaning attempt to soothe his obvious embarrassment. Light blushed harder but didn’t protest the treatment.

Across the table Sayu openly gaped at her brother. Sayu decided she liked Ryuk if, for no other reason, but for the effect he had on Light. As long as she could remember her big brother had seemed almost like a God, he carried himself with such great hauter. But now he’d seemed to have toned it down a bit. Sitting next to Ryuk, he seemed almost, well… _human._ Oh sure, Light was still plenty bright and confidant and he would always be her amazing big brother but he was no longer so insufferably _arrogant_ that he resembled one of those mad cartoon geniuses shouting “I’ll show them, I’ll show them all!” He seemed much happier too—smiles were much more freely given and sometimes they even matched his eyes. 

Next to Light, Ryuk fumbled with his chopsticks, as if unused to eating in polite company but at least he made the effort. This was in sharp contrast with Ryuuzaki who ignored the chopsticks entirely and was picking up and playing with his food with his bare hands. Sayu barely contained a gasp as the peculiar man just scooped up everything drenched in overly sweetened teriyaki sauce and shoved it in his mouth. She shook her head and shared a disgusted look with her brother— _definitely_ a foreigner. 

Light politely dabbed his lips with his napkin to disguise his frown. He hadn’t thought it _possible_ to be that rude. Even Ryuk had better table manners (largely thanks to spending so much time in his company). Light had made sure that Ryuk was on his best behavior, certain that this dinner was all about his parents judging him worthy. 

Unbeknownst to Light, this dinner was more of a formality and his father had already made his decision. 

“So…” Sachiko prompted, “Ryuk. Why don’t you tell us about yourself?”

Ryuk barely managed to suppress a sigh. It looked like this was just going to be Interrogation Part XXXI. Well, at least he had plenty of practice and with Light’s commentary and elaborations he could almost make his sordid tale sound interesting. 

“Well… thanks to Light getting me up to speed I aced my placement test. I’m thinking of majoring in archeology…”

Ryuk decided he did okay when the Yagami women nodded and hummed approvingly in the appropriate places. 

Light noted that on the whole his family seemed pretty open and accepting of Ryuk. It was the odd consultant that he felt the most tension from which was odd because he was the one who’s opinion Light cared _least_ about. Light wasn’t even sure why he was here. It seemed that ever since the bombing the scruffy looking British twink was always in his father’s company… 

Light suddenly had the disturbing thought that perhaps he wasn’t the only Yagami man to discover his sexuality… Light dramatically shook his head, trying to banish the horrifically scarring mental images. He didn’t think his father would cheat on his mom—let alone with some bizarre saccharovorous frog-human genetic hybrid. Light could only watch in appalled horror as the strange consultant ate a desert for supper with far too many things in it, sticking his tongue right into it this time not even bothering to use his hands let alone utensils like a normal person. Light couldn’t help note that it was a long tongue and very skilled. Light’s traitorous mind helpfully supplied more mental images of how such a tongue might be used along with the fact that Detective Kermit over there obviously hadn’t been getting much sleep lately... 

Light spent the next several minutes trying not to throw up in his mouth. 

“So what do you and my brother _do_ together?” Sayu asked, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. After all, she had a significant collection of yaoi manga if they needed any ideas. 

“ _SAYU!_ ” their mother scolded. 

Light held his breath in anticipation of upcoming humiliation… 

“Well… he’s my best friend. We play a lot of Mario Golf together.” 

Light’s relief was a palpable thing but mercifully (with one squatting frog-like exception that truly didn’t count) they didn’t laugh.

Across the table Souichiro suppressed a sigh. True this wasn’t the life he would have chosen for his son but he found that as long as he was safe and happy and not a mass murderer that Souichiro didn’t mind at all. Seeing how happy Ryuk made him, Souichiro had grudgingly accepted the former Yakuza as part of his son’s life. That didn’t mean he had to like it though or that he wouldn’t be keeping a sharp eye on him. 

The revelation that Light was gay and now had a boyfriend came as no great surprise to most of the Yagami family—Sachiko had been relaying her suspicions regarding their son’s preferences ever since he was six years old and it was pretty obvious to everyone after the whole Hideki Ryuuga phase; though apparently on the few occasions that Sachiko had broached the subject Light had fervently denied the very thought of it—evidently it had been obvious to everyone but his son. (Souichiro didn’t understand how L thought Light could be Kira when he couldn’t even keep something like _that_ from them. If he was Kira either he or his wife would have surely noticed.) Naturally, it was the name of Kingu more than the gender of Light’s lover that Souichiro disapproved of. However, Ryuk was proving to be nothing like his father and, surprisingly, a _good influence_ on Light. So Souichiro, though still a bit weary, allowed it to continue. 

Not that he’d give them any slack, of course. 

Souichiro scowled at the sly smirks they kept sending each other.

He had the sinking suspicion that something was going on under the table too. 

Souichiro glowered and folded his arms over his chest. “Anything else you two want to tell me?” He asked gruffly in his best “Chief Inspector” voice. 

Both boys abruptly sat up ramrod straight and Sayu nearly choked when it donned on her how obvious they were being. 

All did their best to just ignore Ryuuzaki. He just kept staring. It was like he’d forgotten how to blink. 

“Yes… Dad,” Light began, sounding dead serious and Ryuuzaki’s eyes widened to nightmarish proportions. 

_Is Light actually going to confess to being Kira?_

“I’m pregnant. Ryuk is the father. I’m so sorry.” 

Sayu burst out laughing, spraying food all over the table and L finally blinked. 

_And she had the nerve to think me rude._ L scowled, he knew he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up that Kira would just confess but he so wanted to finally be done with the Kira case—if for no other reason than to rest his chronically aching back and get some sleep. No case he’d ever done had lasted this long. This was getting ridiculous. 

“Light-kun is an eighteen year old male,” stated that weird guy that Sayu suspected of being a robot. (He never did give them his name. As a result Sayu would always unknowingly refer to the World’s Three Greatest Detective incognito as “Mr. Roboto.”) “I find that statement to be particularly unbelievable.” 

“That’s the whole point! Don’t be such a stick in the mud!” Sayu teased pointing rather rudely with her chopsticks even as they clasped a bit of shrimp. Seriously, not even _her brother_ was this bad. 

The odd raven-haired man stuck out his tongue. 

“ _Dad!_ ” Sayu whined, pointing again. 

“Quiet, Sayu. Don’t be rude,” Souichiro admonished and Sayu pouted. (No one ever _listened._ )

Light suddenly felt his stomach drop with unease at the sad smile his mother shot him from across the table. “It’s good to see you again, Light. Dear, I’m so sorry.”

“Huh?” Light blinked, thrown completely off. Did his father tell her of Ryuuzaki’s mad theory? Did she… did she think he was Kira too? _Dammit!_ Just what had he done so that _no one_ had any faith in him? He’d _always_ tried to be good! 

The perfect student. 

The perfect son. 

Polite. 

Kind. 

Honorable. 

Just. 

Just where had he gone wrong? 

Light grimaced. Maybe it was the tattoo? 

“This is all my fault,” his mother continued, oblivious to her son’s assumptions and his current dear-in-the-headlights expression. “My past put you in danger,” his mother said in a near whisper, bowing her head deeply in contrition. “I am so sorry.” 

Just as everyone else sitting at their table, Light just stared in shock, too stunned to say a thing. 

What did she mean by her past?

His mother was just… his mother. It’s not like she could possibly be the target. 

_Why would she think that? She thinks it’s her fault we were targeted?!_

Light suddenly felt like shit for avoiding her. 

“It has nothing to do with that! We… we all thought… _still_ think that whoever did this… they were after me!” 

Sayu scowled. “That’s not any better, you idiot!” 

“ _Sayu!_ ”

Souichiro loudly cleared his throat before L could put his two cents in. “As we’ve previously discussed, we at the NPA already have the perpetrators in custody. They confessed to the bombing among other things." 

“See Light? There’s nothing to worry about anymore! Case closed! Your dad is awesome!” Ryuk cheered. 

Sachiko smiled briefly at the byplay but felt it slip as she took notice of her husband’s black mood. While Souichiro tried to keep his weary watching of his son’s boyfriend discreet, hidden behind his shiny glasses and steepled hands, but Souichiro’s grim suspicion was all too obvious to his wife. It clearly wasn’t because it was a same-sex relationship. Maybe… Souichiro _had_ mentioned Ryuk was ex-Yakuza and he clearly hadn’t been happy about that. Was that why…? 

“Dear, don’t you think that’s a tad hypocritical?” Sachiko asked gently at her husband’s continued, poorly hidden scowling. “I seem to remember a certain handsome young police officer falling for a certain Sukeban bad girl…”

“ _That_ was completely different!” Souichiro sputtered.

Light blinked in confusion as the pieces abruptly clicked together.

His _mother?!_ His mother had been a _delinquent?!_ No, not just a delinquent but the _leader_ of a girl gang?! 

Light found that very hard to believe. He tried to imagine his mother with dyed hair and 80s punk clothes, spray painting walls and causing trouble and then manipulating her way out of any consequences. And apparently his dad had a thing for bad girls—well, that was more about his parents than he _ever_ wanted to know… Light just shook his head—it was fortunate then that he took after his father.

And there it was again—that reminder that he, too, was dating a criminal. Honestly Light didn’t really think of Ryuk as a Yakuza most of the time. Ryuk was just… Ryuk. His boyfriend and overall fun guy to be around. Really, Ryuk could hardly be called a Yakuza. He never partook in Yakuza activities and he wasn’t responsible for the circumstances of his birth. 

Ryuuzaki looked amused by Light’s inner turmoil. “What did you expect with your DQN name, Light-kun?” 

Light really had no idea what he’d done to earn this man’s animosity. Well, other than failing to be Kira for him. Evidently his very existence was offensive to the consultant because it proved him wrong. He _wasn’t_ Kira. It wasn’t _fair!_

In a poorly thought out attempt to save face Light simply stuck his nose up in an exaggerated snooty fashion. “Remember when I asked for your opinion? Oh that’s right, _I didn’t._ ” 

L simply shrugged. He didn’t see what the fuss was about. He’d heard far worse given names. Would you believe that an alias such as say... “Beyond Birthday” was actually an improvement? 

L glanced up from his pudding, frowning slightly at the annoying buzzing sound...

Oh. 

Light was still talking. 

_“…I’m not going to even ask what gutter my dad dragged you off of you stupid crackhead—”_

“ _Light!_ ” Souichiro scolded, beyond appalled at his son’s behavior. 

“What? He started it.” 

“Apologize.”

“Yes Light, apologize,” L smirked childishly while rocking obnoxiously in his seat. He then proceeded to blow powdered sugar from his desert right into Light’s stupid face and too perfect hair. 

“Alright. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you’re such an asshole. Tell me, is it a genetic predisposition or are you actually like this on purpose?” 

“ _Light!_ ” Souichiro scolded again.

“Oh hush dear,” said Sachiko as her husband began sounding like a broken record. 

“Light is finally acting like a real teenager!” Sayu grinned. 

“You have to admit that wasn’t very nice,” Ryuk commented as he helped Light wipe the sticky white stuff off his face and out of his hair. Ryuuzaki was probably just jealous that _this_ was the closest he’d ever come to his Light. 

“I do believe Ryuuzaki is deliberately antagonizing him,” Ryuk simply stated what should have been obvious to anyone with half a brain. 

“Were you really a Sukeban?” Sayu asked; bright brown eyes alight with interest.

"Yes," Sachiko admitted, ducking her head slightly. It wasn't exactly something she was proud of. 

“Will you teach me to fight?” Sayu asked innocently. 

“ _No!_ ” the three other Yagamis all shouted at once, causing L to nearly stumble right out of his precarious crouch on the seat and Ryuk to gape at three of them because never had it been more obvious that they were family. And just when he was beginning to suspect Light was a Fox Changing or something—at first glance they seemed to have so little in common. 

Sayu put on a most impressive pout.

“You could always sign up for martial arts classes like Light and I have been doing,” Ryuk pointed out to the ire of the Yagami parents. 

“No! Sayu is a good girl!”

_“Mom!”_

“I won’t have her fighting!” 

Ryuk held up his hands in a placating gesture. “I’m not saying she isn’t or that she should start fights or anything like that but don’t you think it’s a good idea that she learn to defend herself from perverts and potential kidnappers and the like?” 

“He’s right,” Light asserted, injecting just enough of what Sayu thought of as his “insufferable genius tone” to get their parents to listen. “It _is_ a good idea. And it’s not learning how to fight. It’s learning how to defend herself and that is very important. Sayu will join us at the club.” 

And that was effectively the end of the argument. 

“Alright. _Defense._ But no _fighting,_ ” Sachiko insisted. 

_“Mom!”_ Sayu snapped, becoming insulted at being so coddled. 

Sachiko sighed, “I never told you kids how I met your father. It was 1979 and I had… bad experiences with men. I joined the gang for protection but in the end I somehow ended up in charge of it. We were out after school one night and this young officer, he surprised us...” 

“I was a rookie officer back then, sent to investigate the delinquents in the area,” Souichiro cut in with a tired sigh as he wiped imaginary smudges off his glasses. “And I was a bit of a hothead. I didn’t really think things through or how I would appear to those young ladies…”

“The others ran and he trapped me in a dead end alley. I was scared… so I hit him in the head with my Kiss lunchbox. Now, again, this was the Seventies. Lunch boxes were not plastic and safe but made of metal and with sharp edges. There was so much blood…” 

Souichiro cringed. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“You had to have five stitches, dear. I could have killed you,” Sachiko commented as both her children looked on in horror. “Anyway the nice young officer never pressed charges and we began dating after that. The point is I was young, and stupid, and didn’t know what I was doing. I could have become a murderer at seventeen. That’s not something I want for you, either of you.”

“Hmmm… Luckily Light-kun is now eighteen,” L commented lightly to the clear discomfort of everyone there. “Thought I suppose he would have started at seventeen if he is Ki—”

“Hey _Dragon Blossom_ or whatever your name is!” 

“ _Ryuuzaki,_ ” L snapped at the annoyance he shouldn’t have to deal with. This was _supposed_ to be between him and Light.

“I don’t care. Shut your cakehole,” Ryuk snapped acerbically, glowering at him from over Light’s head.

L glared daggers as Light snuggled into the ex-Yakuza’s side. L’s scowling intensified when he noted Mr. Yagami’s subtle nod of approval. L couldn’t believe it. It would seem that with this latest string of invectives the ex-Yakuza had completely won over Yagami senior. 

Light relaxed against Ryuk’s side, having caught the wordless exchange between his father and his boyfriend. It appeared that his father might finally accept that Ryuk was not an evil Yakuza despite being raised by one. Perhaps things wouldn’t be so bad after all… 

“Now what’s this about a tattoo?” Sachiko asked sweetly. 

Crap. He was doomed. 

“You got a tattoo?” Sayu piped up, displaying the sort of glee that only a little sibling could show when their “perfect older brother” was getting in trouble.

Souichiro scowled at the reminder. “Light, I still can’t believe you did that. It was very irresponsible…” 

“Now dear, you can’t very well get mad at him for getting one when you have one too.”

“What?! Dad? _You_ have a tattoo?” Sayu gasped. 

Light frowned. “I’ve never seen it.” 

“It’s in a very private area,” Sachiko elaborated while picking up a lovely piece of kobe beef delicately between her chopsticks. 

Souichiro blanched. “You promised never to tell!”

Sayu giggled. 

L wondered how he’d managed to miss all this during his background check. 

Ryuk simply shrugged. 

Sachkio calmly sipped her tea.

And Light was officially scarred for life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Sukeban!Sachiko theory comes from  
> http://albasti.tumblr.com/post/89447688985/soichiro-and-sachiko-yagami-were-possibly-teen  
> and  
> http://arysthaeniru.tumblr.com/post/121319372817/deathnoteyuri-i-was-thinking-about-this-post  
> It was just too great a theory to pass up for a "Light-thinks-he's-dating-a-criminal AU."


	13. Chapter 13

“Thank you, Light. For today. I know it was nerve-wracking…” Ryuk began when they returned to their apartment. 

“That’s not even half of it.” Light shuddered, huddled on the couch, still traumatized over the many revelations brought about by that awkward family dinner. 

Light startled slightly when his boyfriend dropped a blanket over his shoulders and turned on the TV to some brainless background noise—some sadistic game show from the looks of it. Ryuk cooed as he snuggled up beside him on the couch. He held a bag of barbeque chips tantalizingly in front of Light with a knowing grin. 

“Food doesn’t solve everything,” Light grumped.

Honestly, how could Ryuk even think of food? Light was still stuffed from that obscenely huge dinner. 

Ryuk chuckled, finding Light’s pouting to be most adorable. 

“No… it doesn’t.” 

Light gasped as Ryuk kissed up his neck. 

“Oh, you beast!” Light groaned. Ryuk just laughed until Light climbed into his lap for easier access. 

“How did I ever get so lucky?” Ryuk asked in a near whisper. 

“Funny,” Light murmured, giving his lover a peck on the cheek, “I was just thinking the same thing.” 

***

L scowled as he watched the monitors; that uncomfortable feeling creeping up on him again as he watched Light interacting with his boyfriend. That other guy. That rude delinquent punk. The guy who wasn’t him. He could do so much better… 

No… _He_ could do so much better. He was still pretty sure Light was or had been _Kira_ which made this ridiculous crush L seemed to have developed for his main suspect all the more absurd. Ryuk was hardly lucky for getting Light first (despite how happy they looked). 

L scowled again and viciously stabbed his cheesecake until Watari drew his attention to what was currently happening at Sakura TV… 

***

L massaged his lips between his thumb and forefinger, deep in thought, as he stared at the screen displaying the petite blonde model who was currently blindfolded and tied up Hannibal Lecter-style. 

The killings had stopped. 

The rest of the taskforce wanted to believe that Kira was caught and the matter was settled but L was adamant that Ms. Amane wasn’t the original Kira.

“It’s beginning to sound to me like you want Light to be Kira!” Aizawa had finally snapped when L kept making pointed jabs at the Chief’s family. 

“Perhaps…” L admitted and an unhealthy tic formed in Aizawa’s forehead. The Chief was still recovering from his heart attack—he didn’t need to be hearing this. 

“We have Kira in custody! The case is over. _Let it go,_ Ryuuzaki!” 

However, that wasn’t something L was inclined to do. 

Unfortunately, Ms. Amane would betray nothing no matter what “enhanced interrogation techniques” L used. For some strange reason torture didn’t work in getting the girl to open up to him or even like him more. ( _Fifty Shades_ lied to him!) L was about ready to tear his hair out in frustration. Despite having a suspect in custody he was still getting nowhere. 

That was until the girl’s Shinigami, Rem, approached him, showed herself to him, and cut a deal with him. Actually Rem initially came to issue an ultimatum—“let Misa go or I’ll kill you.” She stood firm in her ultimatum for all of five minutes in which L had suggested she _could_ kill him but then Misa would definitely not be freed if L died and that there were plenty of others ready to take his place—others who likely wouldn’t be as nice as he was. After which the deal was made—Rem and Misa would assist L in closing the Kira investigation and in turn he would push for leniency for Misa—rather than facing execution she would be confined to a mental hospital until the doctors saw her fit to reenter society (which would probably be never but L may have neglected to mention that little detail—it was hardly a slap on the wrist, mental institutions actually had much more demanding standards for release than prison parole boards.) 

So Rem told L about the Death Notes. 

L had perked up when Rem told him there was a way to determine for sure if someone owned a Death Note (no doubt to impress upon him that Misa was still useful to him but motive aside the information did give him a solid lead). 

“She has Kira detecting eyes,” L said blankly. Apparently they came with the ability to kill with only a face. 

L silently clenched his fist at his side at the very thought of it. Here he was, driving himself insane trying to find Kira when _Misa_ could just flounce in and pick him out of a crowd. He almost wished she _didn’t_ find Kira. And then he cursed himself for wishing it, knowing he’d just jinxed himself because right now Misa was _his_ best lead on Kira. And if she couldn’t find him… 

“How does one go about getting Kira detecting eyes? I doubt she was just born with them.” 

Rem gave him an odd look and took a moment before giving him an answer. L got the sense she was withholding something from him. Could it be that someone _was_ born with them? 

Rem only told him “The Eyes can be yours if you take possession of the Death Note and give me half your lifespan.” 

L had balked at the price tag. He did sorely want to catch Kira but he wasn’t quite ready to pay such a cost—especially when he had Misa to look for him. 

“I won’t betray Kira!” Misa had shrieked just before L had made her look at the pictures and she proclaimed he wasn’t Kira. (Naturally, L had worn a ridiculously creepy kabuki mask when he eventually went down to question her in a more intimate setting. Even though L now had Misa’s Death Note in his custody he wouldn’t allow the security risk posed of Misa knowing his name.) 

When L pressed her further all he got was “He’s cute but he isn’t Kira!” 

L made her look at Light’s boyfriend as well but Misa insisted that they both had lifespan numbers and that neither of them owned a notebook and Rem insisted that Misa was telling the truth. 

Of course L reasoned that it was possible Light _had_ once owned a notebook and no longer did. L’s theory was that Light had lost his notebook in the explosion but they had already investigated that angle thoroughly. If Light once had a notebook it was completely obliterated in the blast—there was not much evidence to be had at ground zero. They _did_ find some small traces of a diary and nothing else—a diary which proved to be an actual diary, composed of ordinary paper with none of the exotic elements found in the pages of Misa’s Death Note. Of course, L wouldn’t put it past Light to hide his notebook inside another notebook or to have a second notebook on top of a false bottom or something like that as a decoy but if Light had owned a Death Note it was _gone._

Of course L found Misa’s word alone to be suspect given her loyalty to the avenging entity known as Kira and his cause and Rem was clearly on Misa’s side. L would have liked to have seen for himself whether or not it was true but he did value his life and if he accepted the Deal it would cut his cake-eating time in half. That wouldn’t do at all. But still, he couldn’t quite bring himself to rely on Misa’s word alone. L decided he needed a second opinion.

That’s what led him to the gates of a certain L.A. prison… 

“Oh Lawli, Lawli, Lawli. Come to visit little ol’ me!” 

Needless to say L had recognized the symptoms of Shinigami Eyes readily enough from one of his previous cases. 

“I told you to stop calling me that.” L frowned slightly at the prisoner’s greeting. It was unlike him to forgo his usual staring contest—indeed he had started in on him no sooner had the prison doors clanked shut. 

B must have been lonely… 

“Don’t like that I know your name, Lawli dear?” 

“No, it’s just _stupid._ You were supposed to be my copy. I’m sure you can do better than that, B.” 

“Your _copy._ Not your equal.” 

“ _Never_ my equal.” 

B laughed bitterly “Yes, I kind of figured that.” 

“Surely you can come up with a better psychotic pet name.” 

B leaned forward slightly, grinning madly while straining slightly against the restraints. “I’m sure I could. But I won’t.” 

“And why not?” 

“It annoys you. That’s reason enough.” 

The great detective snorted and gave an exaggerated roll of his eyes. “Grow up.” 

“I will when you do, Lawlipop. Your copy, remember? That includes all your childish stubbornness, I’m afraid.” 

“I’ll admit to being childish but I’m not that obnoxious.” 

B threw back his head and laughed like a hyena. “Tch! Lawli. I’d tell you to look in the mirror sometime but you don’t have to! You have me!” 

That wasn’t quite true. B was no longer his perfect copy—he was horribly scarred from his attempt at self-immolation but still wore that mockery of his face. He still managed it somehow, despite not having access to makeup in here which he had used to mimic L’s deathly white-grey pallor and sagging baggy eyes… B was darker and more muscular than L but he managed to pull off the baggy eye look just fine—prison had clearly been hard on B. 

“…But I’m afraid I, as you, am very in touch with my inner child and said inner child is just not ready to grow up.” B spoke, interrupting L’s inner musings. 

“Yes and I suppose killing three people was your inner child’s equivalent of a tantrum.” 

B’s entire demeanor darkened then and L was abruptly reminded that B was indeed a dangerous serial killer and not just his naughty wayward student. 

“No that was just my inner child being a bit ticked off. You haven’t seen a proper tantrum… _yet._ ” 

They sat in tense awkward silence, neither of them blinking, finally getting around to their usual staring contest. L brought his thumb up to his lips in thought and B did the same, looking for all the world like a distorted mirror. L startled when B broke character to crack off his own fingernails between his teeth; uncaring of the blood that dripped between his lips. 

“I don’t suppose you plan on getting to the point? _Knowing you,_ I very much doubt that this is just a social call,” B said with his ghastly bloodstained grin and batted what was left of his eyelashes. 

“Am I boring you, B?” 

“Yes,” the murderer mock yawned, “I’m afraid you’re awfully boring with the blood still inside of you.”

L just rolled his eyes. There it was—the whole mindless psycho act again. When would B realize that he saw right through it? L was getting really tired of playing this game. 

“Oh, I’m sorry to disappoint you.” 

“No, you’re not.” 

“You’d miss me if I died,” L asserted abruptly. Because who would B be without the object of his fixation? As predicted B looked quite alarmed by his assertion. “You’re not dying!” 

“Not yet,” L allowed. 

“You can’t die, Lawliet! I won’t allow it!” B snapped, crimson eyes going wide in desperation and horror.

L hid his grin behind his hand. The serial murderer had just become putty in his hands. 

“Yes… well, I would be less likely to die if I had some information,” L hinted while passing his bribe across the table, cautiously releasing the restraints on his hands and insuring B’s cooperation in exchange for strawberry jam. The jam was served in an atrociously orange child-proof plastic cup—B had not been allowed jam since the last time he’d bribed a jar off someone he’d ended up using a shard of broken glass from the jar to slice up a guard. B eyed the orange kiddie cup with distaste but accepted the offering. 

L muttered something unintelligible as B stuck his fingers into the red goo. 

“What’s that Lawli?” B taunted, noisily slurped up his jam, the strawberry preserves dribbling like blood from his lips. 

Even with his training L couldn’t help but let some of his disgust show through. He was thoroughly repulsed and offended by his broken copy’s rude manners and eating habits. “I don’t eat like that.” 

B smiled and L shuddered at the sight of it—it was a horrible, toothy, red-stained thing that L swore would never appear on his face. “Ah, but I thought you said I should be myself!” 

“Hmmm… yes. I suppose you got me there,” L shrugged, replying in his usual monotone. He had no patience for these games today. He was meant to be matching wits with _Kira_ —not his already vanquished foe. 

"So how might I be of service, oh Great Detective?” B asked mockingly. 

L wordlessly passed B a couple of photographs across the table of an attractive young Japanese man with striking auburn-brown hair. B gripped the photograph between thumb and forefinger in a perfect imitation of L’s mannerisms.

“What exactly am I looking at?”

L said nothing but silently made note of the fact that B’s gaze lingered over Light’s head. 

“I mean, he’s cute—I’ll give you that—but I don’t see why you’d…” 

“I had a discussion with a Shinigami the other day,” L began casually. 

B paused in licking a spot of jam off his finger, completely thrown by that assertion. "You're shitting me." 

“According to the Shinigami, sometimes humans can possess the Eyes of a Shinigami. And gain the ability to see the names and lifespans of other humans.” 

There was a pregnant pause. 

“Huh… So _that’s_ what’s wrong with me.” 

Not that it made much difference now. 

B resumed noisily slurping up his jam. 

L idly sucked his thumb and simply waited. He knew that B would now pretend to ignore him for the next ten minutes but L was well aware that he had B’s full attention. 

“One usually receives these eyes through a deal with a Shinigami and possession of a Shinigami’s notebook.” 

B paused in his jam smacking. “Notebook?” The killer just chuckled and shook his head. “I wouldn’t expect Shinigami to carry _notebooks_ or all things. Though perhaps that’s where that idea of ‘balancing death’s ledger books ‘ comes from.” B caught him with a flash of his creepy crimson eyes. “Are you sure they don’t carry scythes?” 

“Not that I’m aware of.” 

“What about Zanpakutō?” B asked, rocking back and forth in otaku excitement. 

“B…” 

“Don’t tell me that all it had was that boring book?” B pouted. 

“She has claws,” L allowed. 

“ _Nice!_ ” The murderer enthused. “Can I meet her?” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” L murmured, thrown slightly by B’s clear excitement at the idea of meeting a Shinigami though he knew he should have expected it, really, given B’s constant psychotic act and fascination with the macabre. But that wasn't what L was worried about or why he would forbid such a meeting. L had noticed that Rem was pretty smart (hardly Wammy's level but still pretty smart) and if she knew about B she might decide that she could use B as leverage against him to make him free Misa... and she'd be right. 

“Please? She could be my biological mother or something for all I know!” 

“Doubtful. She’s in love with a girl.” 

“Oh? Am I correct in deducing that that girl’s a notebook owner and has the eyes? Now I _really_ want to meet them.” 

“Because they’re lesbians? And here I thought you were fixated on _me._ ” 

“Jealous, Lawli?” 

“Hardly,” L asserted while flexing his toes in agitation. 

“The B actually stands for bi,” B stage whispered. 

“The B stands for _Beelzebub,_ Lord of Bullshit.” 

“ _How?_ ” 

“Your parents were religious nuts.” 

“No, no, no. How did you _know?!_ ”

“I know everything,” L declared, somehow managing to make his usual monotone sound disgustingly arrogant. 

“Except who Kira is, apparently. Is that why you want me to look?”

“Oh, I know who Kira is.”

“Only you can’t prove it. That’s why you need me. And that just _burns_ you, doesn’t it?” 

“Well… Yes…. I suppose you would know about burns, B.” 

“Not cool, Lawliet.” 

“No… I suppose not,” L’s lips twitched slightly in amusement as he met B’s burning gaze. 

“B?”

“Yeah?” 

Though he would deny it if anyone ever called him on it, L fidgeted slightly under the weight of those burning red eyes. “The photograph.” 

“You never did say what I was looking for,” B pointed out. 

L just refrained from rolling his eyes again. Clearly B was being deliberately difficult. 

“According to the Shinigami if either of them owns a notebook you won’t be able to see a lifespan over their heads…” 

“Wait, who’s the other guy…?” B interrupted while flipping through the pictures. “Oh! Pretty boy’s boyfriend!” 

L frowned again. “Why do you say that?”

“Well, it’s _obvious,_ isn’t it? _Look_ at them. All touchy-feely and little grins…” B looked up in time to catch L’s irritated expression. “ _Oh!_ So you _are_ jealous!” 

_“Shut up.”_

“Is that the real reason for this little visit? Is the Great Detective feeling rejected? And I’m your… Backup.”

 _“B…”_

“That’s not very nice, Lawlipop.” 

“You murdered three people,” the detective stated in a superior tone. 

“Why are you bringing up old stuff? Besides, that’s neither here nor there.” 

“I would think you would want to help bring Kira to justice. He preys on people like you.”

“Maybe,” B said as he lounged back in his prison cot. It was the most un-L like pose he’d ever seen him in. “Or maybe I don’t care. As you may recall you are talking to an attempted suicide. In any case, I’m afraid I can’t help you. Pretty boy doesn’t have a book. Neither does tall, dark, and ugly. Sorry to disappoint.” 

L snorted. “I doubt that.” 

Peculiar laughs aside, B should have no conceivable connection to either Light Yagami or Ryuuku Kingu. He had no reason to protect them. Of course it was entirely possible that B gave him the wrong answer just to fuck with him.

“You’re sure he isn’t Kira?”

“Well, I can see their numbers if that’s what you’re asking. They aren’t going to die for a while. A pity. Pretty boy would look so pretty in red. But then… if (ha) _I were you_ I really wouldn’t trust the word of a Shinigami. And you do realize that even if I _couldn’t_ see a number above his head that didn’t necessarily mean he _was_ Kira. You know I can’t see _my_ lifespan..." 

L froze and than scowled. "Are you trying to make me think that you are Kira?" 

"I don't know, would that make you find me interesting again? 

" _B..._ "

"Don't worry Lawli dear, I haven't touched any Shinigami Burn Books. Not that I’d want to. Just write their name and they die?!’ How lame. Where’s the fun in that?”

L idly flexed his toes in annoyance. “B… can you _please_ stop with the Joker impersonation? It was never funny.” 

“Heath Ledger is my hero.” 

L rolled his eyes yet again, _exasperated._ B might be very dangerous, unstable, and not fit for human society; he liked to pretend to be the big bad villain but… “You are such a _dork._ ” 

“Why thank you, Lawli,” B said with a mock bow. 

“It’s not healthy. And we both know you’re not as psychotic as you portray yourself to be.” 

“Well who am I supposed to be then if I’m not allowed to be you?”

“B…” 

_“Yes?”_ B asked seedily as he allowed himself to drown in the depths of his Lawli’s eyes. He was sure he wasn’t imagining things. He was _sure_ they were having a moment here… 

“Are you sure you have never seen a Death Note?” 

The moment passed. 

B sighed deeply and closed his eyes. “I don’t know how I got my eyes—accident of birth, perhaps? I certainly didn’t ask for this. I still like my idea that bio-dad was a Shinigami or something along those lines. I think we both know it would have been an improvement.” 

L flinched. 

_“What?”_

“The Shinigami I met… was quite ugly.” 

B shrugged. “Still an improvement. Besides, isn’t it supposed to be what’s on the inside that counts?”

L stared at his former student in incredulity. “Murder, jam, and an obsession with anime waifus?” 

B showed his teeth in an approximation of a smile. “Precisely.” 

B faltered slightly when the detective’s disgust began bleeding through—he threw him a bone. “You know just because I _can_ see his lifespan doesn’t mean he is innocent.” 

“I know,” L said tersely. This whole trip had just been one colossal waste of time. He’d reached a dead end, _again,_ and it was obvious he would not be getting his man. 

L sighed and prepared to leave. 

“Lawliet! _Wait._ ” 

L tensed as B reached into his pocket and failed to hide his surprise when B passed him a bloody “bouquet” of animal bones through the bars—a “bouquet” that he had somehow managed to prepare and sneak past security even while handcuffed. 

B shuffled awkwardly. 

“I missed you. I… I’d been preparing it… for a while,” the killer admitted. “And when the guard said to get presentable… I had a feeling it was you. I mean, who else would visit me?” 

L was repulsed yet oddly touched by the gesture. 

L figured it was time to have Watari book his bi-annual appointment with Wammy’s therapist to talk over his growing Hybristophilia problems. 

***

L stubbornly clung to his conviction that Light was Kira, he probably would until his dying day even if all the evidence seemed to contradict that theory and it was merely a gut feeling. However there was nothing more he could do short of taking the Eye Deal himself, which L was not inclined to do. It would mean not only giving up half his lifespan but if he proved to be right he would also have to reveal the existence of the Death Notes and the Shinigami to the world and that was something L refused to do. No. No one should have this power. The notebook would be documented, classified above top secret and then promptly destroyed, Misa would be committed to a mental institution as per their agreement, and Kira would eventually fade from public consciousness, becoming nothing but an urban legend.

Besides even had he taken the Deal, there was no medical way to tell if someone has the Shinigami Eyes—all the tests he had discreetly run on both Misa and B came back normal. So even if he were to take the Deal himself it would still be his word against Light’s and Light’s word now carried quite a lot of power as a high ranking officer of the NPA and a genius in his field. 

L would continue to watch Light and Ryuk sporadically for years to come even though the case was officially long over. Sure, a few other Kiras popped up on occasion but they were clearly new Kiras who did not match the original’s M.O. L would catch all these copy cats but it was to his eternal frustration that he could never find the original. He still strongly suspected it was Light, or had been Light, but Light was now a decorated officer and rising star of the NPA and, due to interference courtesy of the Japanese police, he was proving untouchable and free from all of L’s suspicions and accusations. By all accounts Light Yagami had grown to be a kind man, very polite and charming who abhorred violence and hated injustice with a passion—a passion that he channeled into solving nearly as many cases as L himself. L’s detractors had begun suggesting that L only continued to accuse Yagami simply because he wanted to get rid of the competition. 

Not that L himself never had the occasional doubt that he _might_ be wrong about Light. It was rare but they were there.

L shook his head as he watched Light come home from work to laze with his lover on the couch, laying his head in Ryuk’s lap so that big man could pet his hair as he told him about his day. 

_Ugh!_ Those two, they were so sickeningly sweet with each other it was enough to give even _him_ diabetes. 

Movement on one of the other monitors immediately caught L’s attention. 

“Oh, _Light-nii!_ ”

It seemed Light’s sister had stopped by for a visit and while it was unlikely at this stage there was always a chance that this interaction could prove… _enlightening._

L once again held his breath, waiting for Light to blurt out that he was Kira—it was becoming a nasty habit. 

“…I’m not _tiny!_ You’re just fucking huge!” Light’s voice snapped over the listening devices and L dropped his fork. 

_“What?”_

Had they truly progressed to that stage already? L hadn't expected them to get intimate for another twenty nine minutes and forty three seconds. 

L checked the other monitor. No, they still had their clothes on…

“Ummm… I’ll come back later,” Sayu mumbled when she opened the door to a partially obstructed view of the couch but seeing her brother’s head between Ryuk’s splayed legs. L scoffed as she so obviously misinterpreted the situation. 

“Ah, come on. You’re _adorable!_ ” Ryuk said to Light and L mock gagged. 

“Oh! Hey, Sayu!” Ryuk waved when he noticed his sister-in-law gaping in the doorway and immediately brightened when he saw she'd brought along one of Sachiko's famous apple pies. “Come on in and look at this! No, _look!_ Look how tiny Light’s toes are compared to mine!” 

***

As loathe as L was to admit it the taskforce, Watari, B (who L had had transferred to his custody for completely professional reasons), and his successors all had a point—the idea that _Kira_ would fall for a delinquent and stop killing was nothing short of absurd! But at the same time L was almost sure Light had been Kira. Sure he had no evidence—just his psychological profile and the Great Detective's own intuition—but he was still 99% sure it had been Light behind the killings. No there was some other factor at play here—something he was surely missing. All he could do was keep watching them. However as the years passed that was proving more and more difficult as he was met with ever-increasing resistance from the Japanese police and Chief Yagami in particular who was beginning to treat his continual insistence that he monitor his son as voyeurism—which was just ridiculous! L didn’t get sexual gratification from watching them—at least not enough times to worry about. Souichiro had gone along with it at first, mostly to spy on the Kingu scion, but there came a tipping point when Souichiro had finally decided that “Ryuk was a good kid” and had demanded that L leave him and his son alone.

***

 **Epilogue**

Light stared off the cliff at the _down._ It was a sheer cliff towering over rocky, mountainous terrain dotted with what Light knew to be huge trees that, up here, looked like matchsticks. A carrion bird screamed overhead. 

It was a lot of down. 

“You know… I am _really_ regretting my life choices right now.”

Light knew he had his helmet and gear strapped on tightly, he’d checked and quadruple checked both his and Ryuk’s equipment and he was safe as he could possibly be.

It didn’t stop him from being nervous. 

“Aw, c’mon, Light. Just push off!” Ryuk encouraged him. 

“Falling will… hurt a lot, you know.”

“Good think I have no intention of falling then. Or letting you fall either!” 

To Ryuk’s great disappointment, Light still looked ambivalent about the whole thing. 

“Don’t make me push you.”

“Don’t you dare—” Light snapped just as Ryuk came up behind him and gave him a strong shove. Light’s eyes bulged comically as he was unceremoniously shoved off the cliff. 

_“GODDAMMIT RYUK!”_ Light screeched even as his sail caught the wind, soaring ever higher. 

_“SEE! IT’S FUN!”_ Ryuk hollered back as he pulled up next to him, and both gliders drifted lazily over the arborous hills and rocky slopes of the nature park towards the setting sun. 

Alright, maybe it was a little bit fun. 

It wouldn’t stop Light from being grumpy about Ryuk pushing him later though. 

And he really should be focusing on the next immediate problem—namely how to get down… 

**End.**


End file.
